[scrobin]

Hi, my username is scrobin, I'm a twenty-six years old female, and I'm currently a college student.

Anyways, about seven years ago, I was diagnosed with clinical depression at nineteen, and at the same time my life was falling apart at the seems. Because of being diagnosed with depression I have lost everything I ever cared about, and I have suffered not only from the illness but from the stigma of having a mental illness as well.

When I got my diagnosis of depression, my doctor put me on an anti depressentant called Depakote. Unfortunately one of it's unpleasant side effects is weight gain. It makes a person feel hungry 24/7, and there is no way of avoiding it. I know other women who have taken it and have had the same reactions. As a result I gained a lot of weight. I'm now on other anti-depressents, that as not as bad as Depakote. I've tried the losing weight, but it hasn't been as much as I've liked to be. For awhile I did lose some, but because of my medical and financial situation I've been living in transitional housing since 2006, and all they have to eat there are foods that are high in stratches. I know it's not my fault that I gained the weight, I was sick and had a bad reaction to a medication. However, it is my responsibility what I do about it, and for getting rid of it.

This year, after being fed up with having a mental illness, and having lost everything I care about, I decided to take care and get my life back. I'm back in college and getting A's, and doing political active work again and it feels great.

I decided to see a weight loss doctor to help me with my weight problem givin I haven't had too much success in the past. I had my first appointment with the doctor yesterday. He understood my situation and agreed that the weight gain wasn't my fault. However, if I want to get back to my normal weight, the best chance I have is going to gastric bypass surgery.

I've decided it's what I need to do, it's just that right now I'm still numb and nervous about it. I know that the surgery will make me better. I talked with my mom about it and she was supportive, and told me that it wasn't my fault that this happened.

However, now I'm scared, somewhat embarressed, and pissed. I'm scared about going under the knife. I'm embarressed because of the stigma of being over weight and of gastric bypass surgery. Most of all I'm pissed at the medical community for not doing something about the unpleasant side effect of anti-depressant, especially Depakote. And I'm pissed at congress for cutting funding for mental health research (not to mention programs). I'm also pissed that I have this illness which has taken away everything I care about, has made me feel sick physically and mentally, has come with a stigma, and now has cause me to have surgery. I don't deserve any of this, and neither does anyone else.

Plus, I hate the word obesity. I wish that they would just say overweight.

Anyways, I was wondering I could really talk to someone whose been through this before. I could use some advice, and if you could tell me what the surgery and the outcome are like.

[Kenyar]

well. welcome. i hope you find what you are looking for in terms of a pen pal or someone to talk to. my struggle with depression came post op. so i cannot relate to your specific situation. i will say this, please make sure its under control BEFORE you have the surgery. not being able to eat tends to bum a person out! lol!

welcome to the boards. i hope there is someone here who can share a stpry or two with you. it always helps to link up with someone in the same boat. we're all here because he had or are thinking of wls but not all have experienced the depression piece.

good luck on your journey.

[scrobin]

Originally Posted by Kenyar

well. welcome. i hope you find what you are looking for in terms of a pen pal or someone to talk to. my struggle with depression came post op. so i cannot relate to your specific situation. i will say this, please make sure its under control BEFORE you have the surgery. not being able to eat tends to bum a person out! lol!

welcome to the boards. i hope there is someone here who can share a stpry or two with you. it always helps to link up with someone in the same boat. we're all here because he had or are thinking of wls but not all have experienced the depression piece.

good luck on your journey.

Thank you. I have already dealt with the depression. I've been under a doctor's care for about seven years now, and I actually feel good, and I'm doing things to get my life back and make it better.

[Kenyar]

thats good! mine is under control too...finally. i just always preech to people about the "headwork" because i found myself in a situation post op and i wasnt prepared. you should be fine. do you have a date for surgery yet?

[myavt]

I think I have a similar story. I haven't really gotten into it here because I'm in a different space now and I'm SOOOOOO focused on getting my body back right now...

I also was diagnosed with depression when I was 19 or 20. I didn't stay on meds because I really didn't understand what was going on. I'm actually bipolar II so what would happen is I'd drag my ass 3/4 through a semester--then get on a high and do ALL the work in a weekend. I maintained a 3.75 average between crashing & burning and flying high. I don't mean on drugs either. I was 28, having a life crisis, post MASTER'S degree (how the F*** did I put that together?) when I was finally diagnosed correctly and have stayed on meds since. I'm 43 now. My poor body has been through the mill with these meds. I've been down to a size 3 and careened up to 278 lbs on and on. Finally I've lost 90 lbs here as a non-op. I just follow the diet.

Anytime you want to talk meds and which ones do or don't cause weight gain or whatever... ...although it sounds like you're stable on your meds, anyway--I'm here!

XOXO
Mya

[scrobin]

Originally Posted by myavt

I think I have a similar story. I haven't really gotten into it here because I'm in a different space now and I'm SOOOOOO focused on getting my body back right now...

I also was diagnosed with depression when I was 19 or 20. I didn't stay on meds because I really didn't understand what was going on. I'm actually bipolar II so what would happen is I'd drag my ass 3/4 through a semester--then get on a high and do ALL the work in a weekend. I maintained a 3.75 average between crashing & burning and flying high. I don't mean on drugs either. I was 28, having a life crisis, post MASTER'S degree (how the F*** did I put that together?) when I was finally diagnosed correctly and have stayed on meds since. I'm 43 now. My poor body has been through the mill with these meds. I've been down to a size 3 and careened up to 278 lbs on and on. Finally I've lost 90 lbs here as a non-op. I just follow the diet.

Anytime you want to talk meds and which ones do or don't cause weight gain or whatever... ...although it sounds like you're stable on your meds, anyway--I'm here!

XOXO
Mya

Thank you.

That's what I have Biopolar II. At least, you were able to do well in school, during that time. I don't know many people who can when they're in a depressive episode. I was in college when I first got my diagnosis. Unfortunatly, I had to withdraw from school because I was too sick physically and mentally to really do anything. I wasn't functioning and could barely make it through the day. I did stay on the meds though.

Now I'm back in school, and getting A's, and I have a G.P.A. of 3.47. I'm hoping to transfer to Hamline University in the fall. I'm planning on double majoring in legal studies and political science, and minoring in women studies. I want to go to law school and be a lawyer.

My body has been through the mill too. The medical community really needs to do something about the side effects of the meds.

[clancythecamper]

Congrats on setting some really good goals for yourself! We're all different and need different ways to get where we need to go in life. If surgery is your best option medically, it usually takes awhile to jump through all the hoops and this is the time to come to grips with the emotional aspects of WLS and all that it entails. This is truly a lifelong choice so be sure it is the right one for you before you sign the consent form. Good Luck ~ glad you found us, this site is great for support whether surg or non-surg.

[Trulykath]

this journey is a HUGE head game.....I tend to avoid any stigmas associated with the surgery...I just throw it RIGHT in peoples face...what they think of me after that is not my problem...

You have come to the right place to talk about this...most of us have been through it...we're living, breathing proof it's NOT easy....

WELCOME ABOARD!!

[DocSanae]

Welcome to the board, thank you for joining us.

Glad to know that you've found a dr who will work with you on losing weight.

About the stigma of weight loss surgery, may I warn you that if you think of it as a stigma, then the people around you also will.
It is already accepted in the medical community that at the present stage, this is the best option for controlling weight, and for keeping the weight off for an extended period of time. So, I hope you will accept it as such, not a stigma, but an effective method of treatment for your ailments, and a preventive measure in securing your future health. Nothing more, nothing less. The choice is yours to make, and there is no need to bother about the judgements that others make of it. It is how YOU judge the surgery that makes it what it is.

Granted, there are those in the medical community who are not well informed, but with drs who see patients on a regular basis wihere weight issues making their original medical issues worse, they see weight loss surgery as an option. Only, many drs will not bring up the surgery unless their patients do first, because the patient may not yet be ready to make the journey for one reason or another, or may just feel offended by having their drs bringing the subject up.

A lot of research is going on of the how/why of weight gain, and why some people will gain only so much, while others will see a major gain to the extent that it will become a threat to their health and lives. The mechanism is complicated to say the least.
One of the reasons psychotic medication often induces appetite is due to the fact that the proximity of the brain cell receptors for stimulation of comfort, happiness and euphoria are almost side by side with the receptors that receive signals of satisfaction from food. Their structures are similar as well, so the chemical keys that activate those receptors are also similar. What this means is that if the structure of the medication meant to activate comfort or happiness receptors are exactly the same in some parts to the food comfort receptors, then the chemical will activate these receptors as well. Think in terms of a master key. If the chemical can activate multiple types of receptors to help you control your depression, then the higher the possibility that it will end up activating the food comfort receptor as well. To prevent this, chemicals with very specific structures that will act only on very specific structures have to be developed.

The average route of developing a medication to treat illnesses is to first find an agent that will have not just one effect, but a number--in some cases, a certain chemical is noticed to be effective because they work in multiple ways-- then, taking note of unpleasant effects and trying to hone down these effects without losing the effectiveness of the medication for the particular issue. This takes a lot of time, and unfortunately, a lot of money.

The strongest medication may take care of multiple issues at once, but it may also have strong unpleasant side effects. More refined medication may have less side effects, but may also work only on one or two of the issues, making it necessary to prescribe several types of medication to cover everything.

Added to that, our bodies are soooo complex, and sooo protective of its functions that it will often align its metabolism to render certain types of medication ineffective after passage of time.

I hope you will believe me when I say that it is us drs who would like more than anybody else to have medication availabe that is effective without side effects. We prescribe them daily, so of course we would like to be able to prescribe them to our patients without having to worry about, and watch out for these side effects. The researchers aren't slacking in their efforts either. Better, effective medication with the least side effects is what sells most, after all.

(((((((HUGS)))))))) May your journey go well.

[kimtindall]

Hi and welcome to the boards. Sorry to hear what you are going through, but it sounds like you are going in the right directions and getting things together for yourself. You have definately come to the right place for support here! Good Luck on your journey.