Today I got the best gifts for myself that I could get.

The first one is that I hit my personal goal of 199 pounds. It is so weird to type that number. I can't remember the last time that I was below 200 pounds. It must have been sometime in the early 80's. I graduated high school in 1983 and I know that I was over 200 pounds when I graduated. I am actually smaller now than I was in high school! I cannot believe it. I am so dang proud of myself that I could bust.

If someone had told me just a couple of years ago that I would be having this surgery, I would have told them that they were nuts. I could never imagine myself having major surgery to rearrange my insides. But one day I stepped out of the shower and really saw myself in the mirror and knew that it was time to do something about it. I was wearing size 34 pants from Lane Bryant and they were getting too small. That was my turning point.

Now, a little over a year post op, I am down 140 pounds and wearing size 16/18 pants. I cannot remember the last time I put on this size! Today, as I write this, I am wearing size 16 jeans and they are a little loose.

I have the beginnings of tears in my eyes but they are very happy tears.

I know in my heart that this surgery was the best thing that I could have ever done for myself. It gave me back my life. I can get on the floor and play with my daughter and actually get up again. I can sit in the tub and actually take a bath and get up with no problems. I can walk up a flight of stairs and not be huffing and puffing when I get to the top.

These are all miracles to me!

The other gift that I got for myself is finding a new child care facility for my daughter that is going to save me $250 a month. Plus we will get a reduced rate at the local YMCA so we can rejoin and start using their indoor pool and weight room so the weight will do even better for me.

Now I am looking at the possibility that I could actually weigh 175 - 180 pounds by the end of 2010.

I am amazed every day when I look in the mirror. Or when my daughter gives me a hug and can put her arms all the way around me and her hands touch in the back. Or when I look in the mirror and I turn sideways and can see a flatter tummy. I still have a butt on me but I am going to work on that in 2010.

Today is just an awesome day for me!