Well, one of the many hopeful outcomes I was going for happened! Actually, what is ironic, is that the last time I logged in here was February 12th. Might not seem like a big date for anyone, but it was the day I conceived. Just saw the humor in that.

Well, an update to me and my husband is that with my new-found fatigue, I have been home every night and sleeping most of my free time. There doesn't seem to be the same stress that there was before. But I know it is not resolved - just on the back burner because he knows I will not do anything to jeopardize the baby. So - he doesn't have to worry about me going out drinking, staying out a little too late, or anything else. He has his "old" wife back in his eyes. LOL But it has been through everything lately that has made me realize I love this man more tahn anything in the world and would not want to trade his few minor imperfections for the alternatives. We will still have to continue working on our communication and growing as a team, but at least we are back on the right track.

I think I was right in what was causing some of it though. He had been laid off last summer and then when he did find work, he was only getting a couple hours a day. We were around each other constantly. Now - I love to be around him, but I love some peace and quiet too. I had told him that I needed a chance to miss him. Now he is working 70+ hours a week. On an oppsite shift. (and I mean OPPOSITE - I get home at 5pm, he starts at 5pm) Now I miss him. I sit home alone every night with just the dog and actually wake up when he comes home at 3:30 am just to talk to him for a little bit. Between that and the week in MX in January, I think it was what the doctor ordered for us. This is also where we are opposite in our marriage, though. I miss him, but don't want him completely back on my shift. Back to his normal second shift would be good. I still have relax time, chance to clean and what-not, but then he is still home early enough for us to see each other for a little bit. Ok - I am rambling here. Just don't really talk to anyone about this. And our schedules just are not conduscive to counseling right now LOL

Well - back off to work I go. Still strange that I am excited about gaining weight. A littel apprehensive too. I mean - I know I will still be ok afterwards and still use my tool to my advantage - but it is a little unnerving to gain weight now. Those little fears in the back of your head never fully go away, wondering if you'll "fail" and become obese again. But worrying about that won't help me. The agenda right now is happy, healthy baby, as a happy, healthy mommy