[stevesgirl]

Hi everyone.

I hope all is going good for all of you. I need some advice. I know I have talked about this before, but I have been so out of touch with reality lately that I can't seem to hold a real train of thought well. I know its all the depression. The Psychologist I am seeing is giving me meditation CDs and anxiety books to read. I am feeling like he doesn't understand, and there has been no further mention of drugs. He suggests I force myself to get out more, but its been hard. Its been 3 months, at least half of which I have spent in a depressed and anxious state. Even being around my family hasn't made it go away. I have no interest in doing any activities I used to love because I am always too busy obsessing about why I can't break out of this hell. It affects my ability to eat well. I feel too icky inside to eat, but I force bites. I do 30 mins of cardio everyday and weights every other day, and try to go for a walk once a day. But frankly, I am so tuned out from life, I am amazed there is life in me still! Sometimes, I just feel totally depersonalized..as if I am not the one living my life.

So, now that I have clearly brightened up everyone's day, here are my questions:
Seriously, am I one of those people that should have been weeded out by the psychologist way in the beginning because I can't seem to deal with the changes?
Some of you that are on an anti-depressant, do they absorb right in us, enough to make a difference?
What about St. Johns Wart?
Do you think that I should go see my PCP to get on something?
Do you think that there is anything else I could be doing?

I am just trying to get through everyday right now. I am starting to think its not going to get better. I am feeling out of place and alone.

[Denise4SanDiego]

I'm so sorry to hear that you are doing so poorly. I wish that I had some wise words of wisdom for you or could tell you what to do, but although I've suffered from bouts of depression over the last 25 years, it was due to chemical imbalances. Perhaps that's what you are experiencing? My only suggestion is to talk with your PCP and if he doesn't help you, there are other psychologists that are willing and able to give you advice.

[DeMarie]

Oh sweetie, I don't know anything about you and no way can make any kind of call on what you just posted (people who have been here longer know you better, I'm sure) but I am so sorry you are unhappy. At the very least, I wish you happiness. You look like a beautiful girl. First off, if you feel that your Doctor doesn't get you, get a new Doctor. No way should you feel like you are not being heard. Hug you if I could.

[traciflud]

I have been on anti-D's for years, for some of the very things you mention, the depersonalized feelings are the worst for me, and the meds help, it is a chemical imbalance that I have, my PCP prescribes them, I have never seen a Phsychiatrist or other Dr. for them. I had depression most of my life and panic disorder since 15 years old. The anti-D's saved me more than I can say.

[DocSanae]

Talk with your PCP but also try to get a referral to a psychiatrist, not a psychologist.
You need to keep in mind that a psychiatrist is an MD as well, while psychologist are not, so, there are times, and levels of depression, where it's better to see a psychiatrist rather than psychologist. Generally speaking, MDs feel much easier about prescribing medication that non MDs when they feel meds will give you the push in the right direction.
Also, there's SAD, season affective disorder, which may be aggravating your condition. One thing you could try on your own is some light therapy. Try to sit in the sun for 30 minutes to an hour. Morning is the best time for this, but any time of the day is fine, if you can't do mornings.

(((((((HUGS)))))) Hang in there, you may not see it now, but there IS light at the end of the tunnel.

[qt82699]

go see someone els!! obviously you need something more than they are giving you! i hope things look up for you, this is not a fun state to be in ((HUGS))

[ragdolldude]

You sound like you have depression, and should be seen by a professional. Years ago, I was happy 99% of the time. Then one night, while in a good mood and watching TV, I began to cry. Not about what was on TV, just spontaneously. Then it happened a few days later, and then again and again. I sought help, and spoke to a professional. I've been on anti depressants for close to 10 years not, beginning around age 50. It makes each day tolerable. I also take Ativan for anxiety. This helps also. The combination of these two medications makes live a lot easier to deal with. It doesn't make every day perfect, but it makes so I can function. I had RNY in May, 2006, and the medications did not adversely affect my 140 pound weight loss. I think they'll help you. Things may get worse if do not get professional counseling and/or prescribed medications. Good luck. DAVE

[Queenofthenile]

Even though I have not had surgery yet I do suffer from depression due to my weight issues. I used to love to be outside, be with people, visit others, now I am to the point like you said that even being around my family doesn't matter. So I completely understand that part. I was prescribed the anti-depressant Cymbalta by my PCP and I felt 100% better. I haven't taken it for a while due to insurance problems so I am feeling depressed again. I do agree with DOC when she said to go out and get some sun. I notice a big difference when I go outside in the sun for a while. I wouldn't take St. John's Wort only because it is not regulated by the FDA and may interfere with other medications. I would talk to my PCP if I were you and tell him/her all that is bothering you. ((((HUGS))))

[stevesgirl]

thanks for all the suggestions and support. I am feeling so uncomfortable in my own skin. I can't stand it. thanks though. I think i will make an appt. with the PCP and talk to the psychologist about talking with the psychiatrist and hopefully we will get some sun around here. Its been cold and rainy.

[beckamarie]

Jess my friend has seasonal depression, when she lived in Washington she was on anti depressants for it, now she lives in Hawaii so its not as bad but I think if you can get some meds and talk it out you should do well