[sageemily2005]

well my husband and i were talking today and he was like he isnt sure this is the right thing...and that i need to convince him that im 150% sure that this is what i want to do...all im thinking is OMG my surgry is comming up on the 25th liquid diet starts this comming tuesday and he is just now bringing this up i have the same concerns but i made sure i was sure a long time ago i wouldnt have gone threw this whole prossess if i werent sure cause im not the type of person that makes a choice an backs down... he is being negative about this and i dont feel i deserve this right now...not to mention i been working my butt off to put food on the table and pay the bill before this goes down...im egsausted... sore.. and becomming miserable i made sure to ask him if he was goin to still support me no matter what he said yes but im like well it dont sound like it..he said he is scared to death of losing me and my 2 year old is so stuck to me its not even funny... I AM NOT BACKING OUT OF THIS SURGRY if i have to do this with out his sopport or my moms i will...at this point it dont matter if i have them to support me im to a point were i know im doing what the best for me and what is goin to make me healthy....but i am tryin to convince myself i can do this with out them at least i have my sister whom is being completely there for me.....im just so AHHHHHHH!!! know what i have to do on my part but i think they are forgettin they forgot their part along the way... any one else get this or similar to this

[beckamarie]

Oh Honey I am sure he is just frightened for you and for him. I think once you get this done he will see you are committed and he will be there holding yor hand and cheering you on. You can do this with or with the support of hima nd your Mom.
I had surgery and 4 weeks later my hubby had to leave he was gone for 2 months came home for 2 and has now been gone for 3. I am doing this alone and with these wonderful people here at R&R...you can and will make this journey, and when hubby see's how well you are doing he'll be along for the ride

[sageemily2005]

thank you very much i will be on alot more... were liquid diet is on and surgry is right around the corner... and i greatly appraciate the suppourt i receive from this site.... im sorry your hubby hasnt been there.. lets hope he will be home to stay real soon...

[Trulykath]

DDH had reservations on my surgery too.....I think they get scared...but once you have it done and he gets to see you getting healthy, he will have forgotten all about that fear!

[Christy0283]

Ditto to what Kathy said. He will be fine and you just have to reassure him that it's what you think is best for you and y'all's future together.

[greensgirl19]

I've done this on my own with a 3 1/2 yr. old. My family (especially my dad) was REALLY nervous, but now they hear how great I'm doing and they're happy. They'll be even happier when they see me in a few months (I've already lost 60lbs since they've seen me!).
I have found such a great support system in this website. When ever I feel a little down I come on here, read the posts, look at the before and after pics and listen to how encouraging everyone is for everyone else, and it gets me through. It'll get you through too!

[kiwi-leelee77]

I too am on my own and with a medical and surgical high needs 2yr old boy. Family all live at least 3hrs away, and I dont know many people where I live. My mum is coming to stay from the 11th march till the 23rd march so I wont need to lift my boy, but after that, im on my own.
You can do this. I dont know, I think sometimes it is easier to deal with things when you are by yourself, because at least I dont have comments and negative type questions etc to deal with.

Im sure he is just getting anxious. just reassure him and go about your diet and preparations.
Why dont you plonk him in here for awhile, so he can read the forums? It might help?

I wish you all the very best with your diet, and surgery and the Afters. Keep at it, be strong, its worth it.

[not quite Barbie]

He's scared. He said he'll suport you and I believe he will but at the moment he just doesn't understand why you have to do something so drastic and dangerous. Sit down with him and tell him about all the reasons you want this surgery. Tell him you want to be able to tie your shoes without having to stop to breathe. Tell him how you can't bend over to pick up your child, you can't get down on the floor to play with him/her. How miserable it is to try to fit into chairs that were meant for skinny people. How you can't climb a flight of stairs or walk up a hill without getting out of breath. All the things that you can't do because of the weight. If you have medical conditions that might be reversed from the surgery, tell him how that will improve your life.

He doesn't live in that body and doesn't know just how miserable it is to be overweight and most of us never really tell them just how bad it is because we know we'll hear "it's your own fault. Just diet and exercise and you'll lose it." and we
have tried that and it doesn't work. But now you need to spill it out and tell him just how bad it is. That will convince him that you are committed and hopefully he'll support you.

My DH too started having cold feet once the surgery date came close, just as we all start getting scared, they do too. I'm sure he's thinking about what if the worst happens, how will he survive without you. You need to be strong for the both of you at this time. Good Luck.

[DocSanae]

(((((HUGS)))))))
Barbie puts it best. He is scared for you. Try your best to make him understand, but even if he doesn't, don't get discouraged, once you are out of surgery, he'll be sure to be doing all he can to help you.

[qt82699]

i agree with everyone els, he is scared for you, but hopefully once he sees how great you feel and how much healthier you are this will all change and he will be reassured that this was the right thing for you. no matter what, this is your decision, hopefully he can be supportive along the way!