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03-08-2008, 07:05 AM
| #1 (permalink) |
| Whipper Snapper  Join Date: Jan 2008 Location: Poconos
Posts: 42
Weight Statistics not scheduled yet Surgery Date:
5' 6" Height: 280 lb Start Weight:
271 lb Current Weight:
155 lb Goal Weight:
9 lb Weight Loss:
116 lb Lb Left to Lose:
3.21428571429 % % Lost:
Body Mass Index 45.1882460973 BMI Start:
43.7357667585 BMI Current:
25.0149219467 BMI Goal:
Weight Loss Method Roux en Y Gastric Bypass  |  I'm hurting Sorry, I've been away from the board for quite a while, but I'm having a hard time with emotions. My surgery isn't scheduled yet (probably early May), but I started looking for support from some friends and family. Yikes! It's like I never even knew some of them. It seems as long as I'm willing to be the Fat friend, aunt, cousin, sister, etc I felt loved. Now it seems that I'm being talked about, snickered at, mocked, and worst of all...ignored. I'm making new friends through my support group (and here, of course) but even my own daughter has gotten hateful. She's 34 and has a weight problem as well. I know she doesn't have insurance and can't opt for the surgery, so I can empathize with her being jealous... but hateful?!? I'll work through it, but MAN! now I know why my sister is keeping her GBP a secret. I expected a few changes in some of my friendships and family relations, but this has me bordering on paranoia. jk I really do wish I had researched more on this aspect, of my new life though. I was totally unprepared for peoples' negativity. I'm still forging ahead and if anything I'm working to become a kinder, less ego-centered person. I don't want to change the essence of who I am now, but I also don't want my new found fitness to change me (except for the better). Thanks for letting me vent. I'll be here more often. I need your support now, more than ever.-Hugs, Carol
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03-08-2008, 07:28 AM
| #2 (permalink) |
| Seasoned Veteran  Join Date: Apr 2007 Location: Mount Vernon, NY
Posts: 7,296
Weight Statistics 4/1/07 Start Date:
4/19/07 Surgery Date:
5' 9" Height: 258 lb Start Weight:
146 lb Current Weight:
165 lb Goal Weight:
112 lb Weight Loss:
-19 lb Lb Left to Lose:
43.4108527132 % % Lost:
04/19/2008 Goal Date:
Body Mass Index 38.0957781979 BMI Start:
21.5580760344 BMI Current:
24.36357908 BMI Goal:
Weight Loss Method Roux en Y Gastric Bypass   | vent away!!! thats what we're here for. yes you will find that people will take the neagtive approach, either because they wish they had the opportunity, or they are jealous or whatever. put your blinders on and stay focused. if this is what you want, they'll come around and if they dont CUT EM LOOSE!!! easier said than done i know but you wont have time for negativity in your new life. chin up. press on. 
__________________ Anything worth having is worth working for Kenya R.  Lap RNY 4/19/07     |
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03-08-2008, 07:31 AM
| #3 (permalink) |
| Super Moderator  | (((((HUGS))))) It's true family can give you a hard time rather than being supportive. It's very sad that they can't support you, but it's their problem actually, not yours. The Family & Loved Ones forum has lots of threads about this, so check it out if you feel it may help you. Hope your process is going well and you'll be scheduled for surgery soon.
__________________ "In every job that must be done, there is an element of fun."   Just a li'l bit 'bout myself |
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03-08-2008, 11:52 AM
| #4 (permalink) |
| WLS Mentor  Join Date: Sep 2007 Location: coarsegold california
Posts: 1,333
Weight Statistics 8/23/07 Start Date:
8/22/07 Surgery Date:
5' 7" Height: 315 lb Start Weight:
203 lb Current Weight:
170 lb Goal Weight:
112 lb Weight Loss:
33 lb Lb Left to Lose:
35.5555555556 % % Lost:
I have no idea Goal Date:
Body Mass Index 49.3305858766 BMI Start:
31.7908220094 BMI Current:
26.6228558699 BMI Goal:
Weight Loss Method Roux en Y Gastric Bypass | This is something the psychologist warned me about in my pre surgery evaluation. And it happens to everyone. Maybe you can see a therapist to talk to and get some ideas on how to handle these people. I found it to be helpful myself!
__________________  traci |
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03-08-2008, 12:11 PM
| #5 (permalink) |
| Whipper Snapper Join Date: Jan 2008 Location: Poconos
Posts: 42
Weight Statistics not scheduled yet Surgery Date:
5' 6" Height: 280 lb Start Weight:
271 lb Current Weight:
155 lb Goal Weight:
9 lb Weight Loss:
116 lb Lb Left to Lose:
3.21428571429 % % Lost:
Body Mass Index 45.1882460973 BMI Start:
43.7357667585 BMI Current:
25.0149219467 BMI Goal:
Weight Loss Method Roux en Y Gastric Bypass | thanks Thanks for your input, everyone. Doc, I have been reading the family thread and it does help. I think I am going to bring this up at my next pre-op group meeting, because if it's affecting me, it may be affecting some others too. I'm just lucky to have found this pplace to come to and even though I already have shared it, I think I'll mention this site again to the class. Most of them are having lapband, but all the emotions will still apply, as eventually their weight losses seem to level off at around the same % as GB patients.-Carol
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03-09-2008, 03:24 AM
| #6 (permalink) |
| WLS Master Guru  Join Date: Jan 2006 Location: Oklahoma City, Okla USA
Posts: 762
Blog Entries: 46 Weight Statistics 05/17/02 Start Date:
05/17/02 Surgery Date:
5' 5" Height: 355 lb Start Weight:
192 lb Current Weight:
175 lb Goal Weight:
163 lb Weight Loss:
17 lb Lb Left to Lose:
45.9154929577 % % Lost:
may 2008 Goal Date:
Body Mass Index 59.0686390533 BMI Start:
31.9469822485 BMI Current:
29.1183431953 BMI Goal:
Weight Loss Method Roux en Y Gastric Bypass  | It IS very sad that those we most think will support us will hurt us the most. We have ALL been through it, many have lost out on marriages over the surgery and all kinds of family issues. the thread on family is very helpful to read through so you don't feel alone in this. You have to get to the point of knowing this decision is about YOU and YOUR body, no one else's YOU are the one to live with the decision long term. Not anyone else. It is worth the trip and journey down the road, with ALL the changes it includes!
__________________ --BREE open RNY 5/17/2002 -166 lbs(-200 at lowest)  Everything & Anything is possible with Belief in place....WLS changes LIVES  |
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03-09-2008, 06:21 AM
| #7 (permalink) |
| Seasoned Veteran  Join Date: Mar 2006 Location: NYC the best place in the world to live!
Posts: 2,897
Weight Statistics Halloween 2005 Start Date:
4' 11" Height: 212 lb Start Weight:
127 lb Current Weight:
130 lb Goal Weight:
85 lb Weight Loss:
-3 lb Lb Left to Lose:
40.0943396226 % % Lost:
Body Mass Index 42.8141338696 BMI Start:
25.6480896294 BMI Current:
26.2539500144 BMI Goal:
Weight Loss Method Roux en Y Gastric Bypass | With this surgery comes a new life. Unfortunatly you are going to loose som friends along the way for what ever reason, jealousy, ignorance, etc however you are going to gain new friends that are taking the journey with you and who you will grow to love as family. Take it one step at a time....try to only surround yourself with positive people it will make a big difference in your success..
__________________ LitleLisaMarie 4'11"{dont laugh}   |
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03-09-2008, 07:58 AM
| #8 (permalink) |
| WLS Master Guru  Join Date: Oct 2007 Location: fort wayne ,ind.
Posts: 675
Blog Entries: 1 Weight Statistics 9-25-07 Start Date:
9-25-07 Surgery Date:
5' 6" Height: 344 lb Start Weight:
225 lb Current Weight:
160 lb Goal Weight:
119 lb Weight Loss:
65 lb Lb Left to Lose:
34.5930232558 % % Lost:
1-09 Goal Date:
Body Mass Index 55.5169880624 BMI Start:
36.3119834711 BMI Current:
25.8218549128 BMI Goal:
Weight Loss Method Roux en Y Gastric Bypass | It is so difficult sometimes. I even feel bad for the ones who are now heavier than me. People like someone to be bigger or the same. They are afraid of themselves more than you. I know I've wanted to punch people at times but I vented here instead.Hang in there and take care of you.
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03-09-2008, 10:32 AM
| #9 (permalink) |
| Seasoned Veteran  Join Date: May 2007 Location: minnesota
Posts: 3,402
Weight Statistics july 21, 2007 Start Date:
august 17, 2007 Surgery Date:
5' 6" Height: 339 lb Start Weight:
185 lb Current Weight:
160 lb Goal Weight:
154 lb Weight Loss:
25 lb Lb Left to Lose:
45.4277286136 % % Lost:
Body Mass Index 54.7100550964 BMI Start:
29.8565197429 BMI Current:
25.8218549128 BMI Goal:
Weight Loss Method Roux en Y Gastric Bypass | yes vent away, come here alot i know it has helped me along the way. i think some ppl just get jelous of the fact that you are going to change your life for the better and it is out of reach for them, so instead of being supportive they become hateful, which in my opinion if they have to become this way they do not truely have your best interest in mind, which ppl who love u should. keep your head up and keep in mind the reasons you are doing this...FOR you!!
__________________ Dawn  |
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03-09-2008, 01:47 PM
| #10 (permalink) |
| WLS Mentor  Join Date: Jan 2008 Location: upstate ny
Posts: 1,180
Weight Statistics 1/10/08, the final endeavor, I WILL SUCCEED!!! Start Date:
3/12/08 Surgery Date:
5' 3" Height: 298 lb Start Weight:
202 lb Current Weight:
140 lb Goal Weight:
96 lb Weight Loss:
62 lb Lb Left to Lose:
32.2147651007 % % Lost:
7/09 Goal Date:
Body Mass Index 52.7825648778 BMI Start:
35.7787855883 BMI Current:
24.7971781305 BMI Goal:
Weight Loss Method Roux en Y Gastric Bypass | You Know These People Have Known You Fat For So Long Its Like That Is What The Expect Of You. I Think By Us Making A Change In Ourselves, Takes Them Out Of Their Comfort Zone... Just Inform Them That Is What You've Decided To Do & If They Want To Learn More, Teach Them What You Can. They Can Accept It & Be Part Of Your Support Or Not & Stay Away!!! I Know Its Hard To Be Assertive Sometimes, But Its For The Best For You!!!!! Good Luck, & This Site Is The Best Place For Any Advice Or Just To Vent. We Always Need An Outlet. This Is Mine!!! Take Care. Lol, |
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