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Old 03-08-2008, 07:05 AM   #1 (permalink)
cjmontaukmom
Whipper Snapper
 
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Join Date: Jan 2008
Location: Poconos
Posts: 42

Weight Statistics

not scheduled yet
Surgery Date:
5' 6"
Height:
280 lb
Start Weight:
271 lb
Current Weight:
155 lb
Goal Weight:
9 lb
Weight Loss:
116 lb
Lb Left to Lose:
3.21428571429 %
% Lost:

Body Mass Index
45.1882460973
BMI Start:
43.7357667585
BMI Current:
25.0149219467
BMI Goal:

Weight Loss Method
Roux en Y Gastric Bypass
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Default I'm hurting

Sorry, I've been away from the board for quite a while, but I'm having a hard time with emotions.

My surgery isn't scheduled yet (probably early May), but I started looking for support from some friends and family. Yikes! It's like I never even knew some of them.

It seems as long as I'm willing to be the Fat friend, aunt, cousin, sister, etc I felt loved. Now it seems that I'm being talked about, snickered at, mocked, and worst of all...ignored. I'm making new friends through my support group (and here, of course) but even my own daughter has gotten hateful. She's 34 and has a weight problem as well. I know she doesn't have insurance and can't opt for the surgery, so I can empathize with her being jealous... but hateful?!?

I'll work through it, but MAN! now I know why my sister is keeping her GBP a secret. I expected a few changes in some of my friendships and family relations, but this has me bordering on paranoia. jk I really do wish I had researched more on this aspect, of my new life though. I was totally unprepared for peoples' negativity.

I'm still forging ahead and if anything I'm working to become a kinder, less ego-centered person. I don't want to change the essence of who I am now, but I also don't want my new found fitness to change me (except for the better).

Thanks for letting me vent. I'll be here more often. I need your support now, more than ever.-Hugs, Carol
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Yes, you can often get insurance cover for your Weight Loss Surgery.
Our own Craig "Big-T" Thompson has been there and done that, and he's written an e-book about it.

   
Old 03-08-2008, 07:28 AM   #2 (permalink)
Kenyar
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Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Mount Vernon, NY
Posts: 7,296

Weight Statistics

4/1/07
Start Date:
4/19/07
Surgery Date:
5' 9"
Height:
258 lb
Start Weight:
146 lb
Current Weight:
165 lb
Goal Weight:
112 lb
Weight Loss:
-19 lb
Lb Left to Lose:
43.4108527132 %
% Lost:
04/19/2008
Goal Date:

Body Mass Index
38.0957781979
BMI Start:
21.5580760344
BMI Current:
24.36357908
BMI Goal:

Weight Loss Method
Roux en Y Gastric Bypass
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Default

vent away!!! thats what we're here for. yes you will find that people will take the neagtive approach, either because they wish they had the opportunity, or they are jealous or whatever. put your blinders on and stay focused. if this is what you want, they'll come around and if they dont CUT EM LOOSE!!! easier said than done i know but you wont have time for negativity in your new life. chin up. press on.
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Old 03-08-2008, 07:31 AM   #3 (permalink)
DocSanae
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Default

(((((HUGS)))))
It's true family can give you a hard time rather than being supportive.
It's very sad that they can't support you, but it's their problem actually, not yours.
The Family & Loved Ones forum has lots of threads about this, so check it out if you feel it may help you.
Hope your process is going well and you'll be scheduled for surgery soon.
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Old 03-08-2008, 11:52 AM   #4 (permalink)
traciflud
WLS Mentor
 
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Join Date: Sep 2007
Location: coarsegold california
Posts: 1,333

Weight Statistics

8/23/07
Start Date:
8/22/07
Surgery Date:
5' 7"
Height:
315 lb
Start Weight:
203 lb
Current Weight:
170 lb
Goal Weight:
112 lb
Weight Loss:
33 lb
Lb Left to Lose:
35.5555555556 %
% Lost:
I have no idea
Goal Date:

Body Mass Index
49.3305858766
BMI Start:
31.7908220094
BMI Current:
26.6228558699
BMI Goal:

Weight Loss Method
Roux en Y Gastric Bypass
Default

This is something the psychologist warned me about in my pre surgery evaluation. And it happens to everyone. Maybe you can see a therapist to talk to and get some ideas on how to handle these people. I found it to be helpful myself!
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Old 03-08-2008, 12:11 PM   #5 (permalink)
cjmontaukmom
Whipper Snapper
 
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Join Date: Jan 2008
Location: Poconos
Posts: 42

Weight Statistics

not scheduled yet
Surgery Date:
5' 6"
Height:
280 lb
Start Weight:
271 lb
Current Weight:
155 lb
Goal Weight:
9 lb
Weight Loss:
116 lb
Lb Left to Lose:
3.21428571429 %
% Lost:

Body Mass Index
45.1882460973
BMI Start:
43.7357667585
BMI Current:
25.0149219467
BMI Goal:

Weight Loss Method
Roux en Y Gastric Bypass
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Default thanks

Thanks for your input, everyone. Doc, I have been reading the family thread and it does help. I think I am going to bring this up at my next pre-op group meeting, because if it's affecting me, it may be affecting some others too.

I'm just lucky to have found this pplace to come to and even though I already have shared it, I think I'll mention this site again to the class. Most of them are having lapband, but all the emotions will still apply, as eventually their weight losses seem to level off at around the same % as GB patients.-Carol
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Old 03-09-2008, 03:24 AM   #6 (permalink)
BreeChick
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Join Date: Jan 2006
Location: Oklahoma City, Okla USA
Posts: 762
Blog Entries: 46

Weight Statistics

05/17/02
Start Date:
05/17/02
Surgery Date:
5' 5"
Height:
355 lb
Start Weight:
192 lb
Current Weight:
175 lb
Goal Weight:
163 lb
Weight Loss:
17 lb
Lb Left to Lose:
45.9154929577 %
% Lost:
may 2008
Goal Date:

Body Mass Index
59.0686390533
BMI Start:
31.9469822485
BMI Current:
29.1183431953
BMI Goal:

Weight Loss Method
Roux en Y Gastric Bypass
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Default

It IS very sad that those we most think will support us will hurt us the most. We have ALL been through it, many have lost out on marriages over the surgery and all kinds of family issues.

the thread on family is very helpful to read through so you don't feel alone in this. You have to get to the point of knowing this decision is about YOU and YOUR body, no one else's YOU are the one to live with the decision long term. Not anyone else.

It is worth the trip and journey down the road, with ALL the changes it includes!
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Old 03-09-2008, 06:21 AM   #7 (permalink)
LittleLisaMarie
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Join Date: Mar 2006
Location: NYC the best place in the world to live!
Posts: 2,897

Weight Statistics

Halloween 2005
Start Date:
4' 11"
Height:
212 lb
Start Weight:
127 lb
Current Weight:
130 lb
Goal Weight:
85 lb
Weight Loss:
-3 lb
Lb Left to Lose:
40.0943396226 %
% Lost:

Body Mass Index
42.8141338696
BMI Start:
25.6480896294
BMI Current:
26.2539500144
BMI Goal:

Weight Loss Method
Roux en Y Gastric Bypass
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With this surgery comes a new life. Unfortunatly you are going to loose som friends along the way for what ever reason, jealousy, ignorance, etc however you are going to gain new friends that are taking the journey with you and who you will grow to love as family. Take it one step at a time....try to only surround yourself with positive people it will make a big difference in your success..
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Old 03-09-2008, 07:58 AM   #8 (permalink)
lazell
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Join Date: Oct 2007
Location: fort wayne ,ind.
Posts: 675
Blog Entries: 1

Weight Statistics

9-25-07
Start Date:
9-25-07
Surgery Date:
5' 6"
Height:
344 lb
Start Weight:
225 lb
Current Weight:
160 lb
Goal Weight:
119 lb
Weight Loss:
65 lb
Lb Left to Lose:
34.5930232558 %
% Lost:
1-09
Goal Date:

Body Mass Index
55.5169880624
BMI Start:
36.3119834711
BMI Current:
25.8218549128
BMI Goal:

Weight Loss Method
Roux en Y Gastric Bypass
Default

It is so difficult sometimes. I even feel bad for the ones who are now heavier than me. People like someone to be bigger or the same. They are afraid of themselves more than you. I know I've wanted to punch people at times but I vented here instead.Hang in there and take care of you.
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Old 03-09-2008, 10:32 AM   #9 (permalink)
qt82699
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Join Date: May 2007
Location: minnesota
Posts: 3,402

Weight Statistics

july 21, 2007
Start Date:
august 17, 2007
Surgery Date:
5' 6"
Height:
339 lb
Start Weight:
185 lb
Current Weight:
160 lb
Goal Weight:
154 lb
Weight Loss:
25 lb
Lb Left to Lose:
45.4277286136 %
% Lost:

Body Mass Index
54.7100550964
BMI Start:
29.8565197429
BMI Current:
25.8218549128
BMI Goal:

Weight Loss Method
Roux en Y Gastric Bypass
Default

yes vent away, come here alot i know it has helped me along the way. i think some ppl just get jelous of the fact that you are going to change your life for the better and it is out of reach for them, so instead of being supportive they become hateful, which in my opinion if they have to become this way they do not truely have your best interest in mind, which ppl who love u should. keep your head up and keep in mind the reasons you are doing this...FOR you!!
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Old 03-09-2008, 01:47 PM   #10 (permalink)
amina6ae
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Join Date: Jan 2008
Location: upstate ny
Posts: 1,180

Weight Statistics

1/10/08, the final endeavor, I WILL SUCCEED!!!
Start Date:
3/12/08
Surgery Date:
5' 3"
Height:
298 lb
Start Weight:
202 lb
Current Weight:
140 lb
Goal Weight:
96 lb
Weight Loss:
62 lb
Lb Left to Lose:
32.2147651007 %
% Lost:
7/09
Goal Date:

Body Mass Index
52.7825648778
BMI Start:
35.7787855883
BMI Current:
24.7971781305
BMI Goal:

Weight Loss Method
Roux en Y Gastric Bypass
Default

You Know These People Have Known You Fat For So Long Its Like That Is What The Expect Of You.
I Think By Us Making A Change In Ourselves, Takes Them Out Of Their Comfort Zone...
Just Inform Them That Is What You've Decided To Do & If They Want To Learn More, Teach Them What You Can.
They Can Accept It & Be Part Of Your Support Or Not & Stay Away!!!
I Know Its Hard To Be Assertive Sometimes, But Its For The Best For You!!!!!

Good Luck, & This Site Is The Best Place For Any Advice Or Just To Vent. We Always Need An Outlet. This Is Mine!!!

Take Care.

Lol,
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weight loss prior to surgery: 38 lbs
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