[SharonKS]

Ok, I have been thinking about this allllll day and just need to get it out!
This is gonna be long so you might want to go get something to drink....dont worry...I'll wait....

waiting

waiting

waiting

Ok, glad you decided to come back. First as most of you know Im a spouse of an active duty soldier (Army to be exact, who is a military police officer....that will play in later). So I have to go to the military base for primary care. I went to an appointment yesterday because I have awful skin tags on my neck that make it impossible to wear necklaces. I was sick of them and needed to go to primary care to get a referral to dermatology...I also have to get my annual cancer screening check.
NOW.....the doc that I saw was the one that gave me the referral for gastric bypass back in October 2007 (had surgery in Dec 2007). So I get weighed and I went from 235 (my last weight at the clinic) to 172.
The doc walks in and we were talking about the referral to dermatology...and I mentioned that my ankles and shins were really sore and that I had recently taken up a light running program. I was just asking for advice on how to treat the soreness (ice, heat, whatever). His response...........
Ready?!?!?!?

"If you werent so fat it wouldnt hurt to run. Maybe you should think about just not eating for awhile. You bypass patients can do that with no problem since you took the easy way out." (I emphasized the "fat" because he did)


WHAT?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?

I lost it! Totally lost it to the point that I was in his face screaming at him! In fact, it backed him into a corner. So....what do they do? They called the MP's.....LOL Here comes 2 officers....and when I turn around...they were friends with my husband. They let me go of course with nothing but telling me that I cant yell at a provider. ok blah blah blah

So as I was walking out to the car.....all I could do was cry uncontrollably. I was mad and felt like all the work I have been doing could not be seen by anyone else. Does that make sense?
For 3 hours I was in the bathroom...in front of the mirror....pinching and poking. On and off the scale for hours. I felt so defeated....I mean I have a loss of freaking 63 pounds in 3 months! I have ran, lifted, stretched, crunched, lunged, twisted to get this off. I know Im not looking like Americas Next Top Model, but ummmmmm I dont know.

Today, I just cant stop thinking about it...and I get so mad. So Im at the gym (I go to the one on base...there are 4 to choose from all free...thank God) and as Im lifting...I start to cry because that whole thing just keeps playing in my head over and over. I cant stop thinking about it....I thought maybe putting it here would help me to forget about it, but I dont know.

Thanks for reading.....I know it was too long....sorry
Sharon

[kiwi-leelee77]

You need to go to the CMO and make a complaint. that Dr needs to make an apology to you. You may have to make one to him for losing it so badly, (understandable though it was), but he has no right to talk to you like that! NONE. He would be pushing it to talk to a soldier that way, but certainly not a spouse.
(CMO: Chief Med Officer).

I want to say a very bad word right now. many of them actually. You are so right to feel angry, but try and turn it into something good. I cant tell you what that is, you have to figure that one out!

Wow, you have lost so much in such a short time. You are not FAT. Maybe that Dr peewee had a huge boil on his bum or something?

big big *HUGS to you.

[A new me]

I agree you need to turn that doctor in. There is no need for anyone to talk to you that way. And this guy is a doctor. Come on. I know its easier said that done but you need to forget about what he said and focus on how far you have come in 3 months and move on. What a jerk that doctor is. Turn in him and report him.

hang in there and Im thinking of you.

[DeMarie]

OMG!!! Please, PLEASE report him. And DO NOT start second guessing yourself, you are doing amazing, and as WE KNOW, WLS is sooooooooooo NOT an easy way out. Our entire lives have changed, surgery, gutted like a fish, throwing up, sick to our stomachs, can't eat this, can't drink that. FOREVER by the way. It's not a two week diet.
Ok, didn't I read some where a few months back that a patient sued her Dr. when the Dr. suggested she was too heavey??? If he called you fat, military or not, FILE A COMPLAINT!
Please, please, please...show ignorant peolple like this (and a medical person to boot!!!!) that NO ONE can be spoken to like this.
The only thing that should make you feel bad about yourself in even the smallest way, is if you let this person get away with it, that's what you should feel bad about!!!

[lazell]

He's a PIG!!! What in the world posseses people to say ignorant stuff is beyond me. He will probably deny your version but i"de report him anyway. Do not let him effect your attitude towards yourself and how well you are doing. Do not allow that Pig to have that much control over you!You are doing fantastic and you are looking great.Please get him out of your thinking of yourself. Be mad,angry. frustrated,etc..., but not with your self!!!Ok my drink is empty. you look wonderful!!!!

[greensgirl19]

I am funing and it wasn't even me!!!!! You were brave though, I never get the nerve to give people what they deserve! He had no right. If anything he should have been praising you for how great you look, how much you've lost in such a short time, AND the fact that you're exercising!!!!! That's what gets me the most. He had the nerve to call you fat - which you are not - AND criticize you for trying to be healthier!!!!
Report him and find a new doc ASAP!

[DocSanae]

(((((HUGS)))))
No dr should say what he said to you.
It's completely unprofessional. Our job is to encourage our patients no matter what, we should never ever say something to hurt the feelings of the patient as that will break the trust that we need to be an effective consultant for you. Part of your job description is to make our patients feel safe and supported and gain self confidence to go on with whatever treatment they chose. Especially if the dr's the one who put the choice on the table.
You need to lodge an official complaint against him, but it is true, you should give him an apology for your behavior, but you don't need to apologise for the reason you exploded, and in the course of your apology, you should make it clear that his words were very very hurting.

Incidentally, though you got into trouble, it's good that you were able to explode instead of bottling it up inside, in the situation you were, bottling up inside probably would have hurt you more. And, I'm sure the dr learned a lesson, too.

((((((((HUGS)))))))))

[Ladyhawk]

Definetly need to report him. If he gets by with doing that to you, he will do it to some one else. I would definetly refuse to be seen by him in the future.

[SharonKS]

Thank you ladies. I wrote the Commander of the hospital with my complaint...they all have to be put into writing.
I think the stress of the surgery, recovering, making it work, my hubby in iraq and coming home in 50 days, and just the other life stressors....this guy just topped it. I did apologize for the way I communicated to him, but I wasnt sorry for what I said. I will turn it in on Monday morning on my way to my other appointment.
Unfortunately, with the military healthcare system they will tell you not to complain because its free.
I felt better once I posted this....Im so exhausted mentally at this point.

I thought about going to therapy, but the therapists that I called were reluctant to see me...I dont know why, I guess they arent able to deal with a bariatric patient.

[MsVickie]

Im glad you made a complaint and you need to follow up on it. No Dr wheter military or not should ever do or say what he did to you. I have worked as a nurse for years. Yes I have heard Drs say things about patients once they left the practice that has made me so made i could spit. Darlin your health care is far from free. Look at what your hubby does on a daily basis to be able to have it.

Im glad you stood up for yourself with him. Somone needed to. And as far as the easy way out......honey think about it. Do you really think you took the easy way out? I know I didnt. Its the first thing that crosses my mind each day I wake up. Its somthing that is on my mind daily. You can report him to the medical board to. I belive I would. At least he would have a complaint and there may be a list.