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03-17-2008, 10:23 AM
| #1 (permalink) |
| Seasoned Veteran  Join Date: Apr 2007 Location: Mount Vernon, NY
Posts: 7,369
Weight Statistics 4/1/07 Start Date:
4/19/07 Surgery Date:
5' 9" Height: 258 lb Start Weight:
151 lb Current Weight:
165 lb Goal Weight:
107 lb Weight Loss:
-14 lb Lb Left to Lose:
41.4728682171 % % Lost:
04/19/2008 Goal Date:
Body Mass Index 38.0957781979 BMI Start:
22.2963663096 BMI Current:
24.36357908 BMI Goal:
Weight Loss Method Roux en Y Gastric Bypass    |  Confessions last night was a rough night. i have a lot on my mind which is nothing new. exactly what is on my mind? NO CLUE. i cant even sort it out. last night i got up and "binged" which is unusual. i mean i can see having a snack, but i had THREE ice cream sandwiches. THANK GOD they were the 100 calorie ones and no added sugar...but i mean WHY did i do that? why didnt i have enough self control to just roll over and count sheep?  im disappointed. i know today is a new day and all but im bummed out about it. i wonder how many nights i will let the days events rule me?i feel like i am under so much pressure. im not working, but financially speaking there is no urgency. i'm sure i'll find something but WHEN? i have this guy who i want to just be PERFECT for and i want everything to work out. i STILL have a body image distortion issue. i think constantly about the future, whether or not i will screw this up, what i'm going to be when i grow up  my mind is just CONSTANTLY racing. when does my brain ever get a break? plus my body is sore from "working out" yesterday. so im laying here paralyzed TRAPPED by my thoughts lol. i should be in a padded room somewhere... i guess what i am wondering is, (here goes the noises from my head again) when do you get over all of this? there comes a point where you feel you are ready to move past being overweight. you feel great about yourself. you now have a sense of style you never knew was there as well as self esteem. you are feeling more positive about life and your health is EXCELLENT. so do you push the start button and just live? I DONT SEE THE BUTTON WHERE IS IT??? where is the end of the old and the beginning of the new? i still feel like i am stuck in fat kenya's head and life and sometimes body. im ready to cross the line into my "new life" but i dont see the line. where is it? LOL! wow i just read what i wrote and im sure you'll all think i am COO COO 
__________________ Anything worth having is worth working for Kenya R. Lap RNY 4/19/07     |
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Yes, you can often get insurance cover for your Weight Loss Surgery. Our own Craig "Big-T" Thompson has been there and done that, and he's written an e-book about it.  |
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03-17-2008, 10:40 AM
| #2 (permalink) |
| WLS Mentor  Join Date: Oct 2007 Location: North West, NJ
Posts: 1,086
Weight Statistics 1/14/2008 Surgery Date:
5' 10" Height: 330 lb Start Weight:
255 lb Current Weight:
180 lb Goal Weight:
75 lb Weight Loss:
75 lb Lb Left to Lose:
22.7272727273 % % Lost:
Summer 09 Goal Date:
Body Mass Index 47.3448979592 BMI Start:
36.5846938776 BMI Current:
25.8244897959 BMI Goal:
Weight Loss Method Roux en Y Gastric Bypass |  I don't think you are crazy - you have sooooo much on your plate, I'm actually proud of you! But about the 'button'....I don't think there is one. I think it takes time to really start seeing yourself as the new you, not the old you...that's why I ask everyone if their new image (in the mirror) suprises them. I think once you start to see yourself as the new Kenya, the new Kenya will react different to situations too, just gunna take some time. Becoming a cop and having a gun should help...(kidding!) About the gun, yes, about becoming a cop, no. Most of my cousins are Newark New Jersey cops. You will be more fit (back away from the donuts!) and more confident, and less apealing to your ex (!)
__________________  Denise |
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03-17-2008, 10:45 AM
| #3 (permalink) |
| Seasoned Veteran Join Date: Apr 2007 Location: Mount Vernon, NY
Posts: 7,369
Weight Statistics 4/1/07 Start Date:
4/19/07 Surgery Date:
5' 9" Height: 258 lb Start Weight:
151 lb Current Weight:
165 lb Goal Weight:
107 lb Weight Loss:
-14 lb Lb Left to Lose:
41.4728682171 % % Lost:
04/19/2008 Goal Date:
Body Mass Index 38.0957781979 BMI Start:
22.2963663096 BMI Current:
24.36357908 BMI Goal:
Weight Loss Method Roux en Y Gastric Bypass | LOL. one of my motivations for being a cop is the free gun  LOL!!!! it takes time i know, but im a WHEN person. i need the date and time this change will be effective LOL! ugh!
__________________ Anything worth having is worth working for Kenya R. Lap RNY 4/19/07 |
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03-17-2008, 10:48 AM
| #4 (permalink) |
| Seasoned Veteran  Join Date: May 2007 Location: minnesota
Posts: 3,693
Weight Statistics july 21, 2007 Start Date:
august 17, 2007 Surgery Date:
5' 6" Height: 339 lb Start Weight:
185 lb Current Weight:
160 lb Goal Weight:
154 lb Weight Loss:
25 lb Lb Left to Lose:
45.4277286136 % % Lost:
Body Mass Index 54.7100550964 BMI Start:
29.8565197429 BMI Current:
25.8218549128 BMI Goal:
Weight Loss Method Roux en Y Gastric Bypass | i do know alot of the feelings you are feeling, it is so hard just to move on, i really do not have any advice becuase i feel the same way, hopefully someone will be on here to help us out!
__________________ Dawn  |
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03-17-2008, 10:51 AM
| #5 (permalink) |
| Super Moderator  | Kenyar, that's why this is called a journey. There is no *end of the old, start of the new* so to speak. We all carry some sort of baggage from the past--the only difference is, which baggage you are going to choose to carry, and which to leave behind. You can't leave everything behind, because whatever there was in the past, you wouldn't be here if one itsy bitsy thing had been different, and you will not got to the future if one itsy bitsy thing was different. The biggest difference probably is, is that you are starting to realize that you are only what you make yourself to be. Which is a very good place for the next stage to start. ((((((HUGS)))))
__________________ "In every job that must be done, there is an element of fun."   Just a li'l bit 'bout myself  |
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03-17-2008, 11:50 AM
| #6 (permalink) |
| Big Loser  Join Date: Aug 2006 Location: Saint Louis
Posts: 146
Weight Statistics 4/22/08 Start Date:
May 6, 2008 Surgery Date:
5' 10" Height: 325 lb Start Weight:
271 lb Current Weight:
150 lb Goal Weight:
54 lb Weight Loss:
121 lb Lb Left to Lose:
16.6153846154 % % Lost:
Body Mass Index 46.6275510204 BMI Start:
38.8802040816 BMI Current:
21.5204081633 BMI Goal:
Weight Loss Method Roux en Y Gastric Bypass | kenyar - maybe you could start a journal and write down on paper everything that you are feeling. maybe this can help you to focus on one thought at a time and at the same time give you the ability to get it all out..... hang in there!
__________________ joanne DePaul Weight Loss Institute Saint Louis, Mo - May 6, 2008 _____________________________________________ "I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me." Philippians 4:13  http://joannes-journey.blogspot.com |
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03-17-2008, 11:51 AM
| #7 (permalink) |
| WLS Master Guru  Join Date: Apr 2007 Location: Near St. Louis, MO.
Posts: 947
Weight Statistics 04/17/2007 Start Date:
April 30, 2007 Surgery Date:
5' 5" Height: 296 lb Start Weight:
168 lb Current Weight:
150 lb Goal Weight:
128 lb Weight Loss:
18 lb Lb Left to Lose:
43.2432432432 % % Lost:
05/21/2008 Goal Date:
Body Mass Index 49.2515976331 BMI Start:
27.9536094675 BMI Current:
24.9585798817 BMI Goal:
Weight Loss Method Roux en Y Gastric Bypass | WOW Doc!!!!! That was so nicely put! I'm so thankful we have you here, you are SUCH a blessing! Kenya you are NOT COO COO....believe me, we ALL have those thoughts! |
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03-17-2008, 01:43 PM
| #8 (permalink) | |
| Seasoned Veteran Join Date: Apr 2007 Location: Mount Vernon, NY
Posts: 7,369
Weight Statistics 4/1/07 Start Date:
4/19/07 Surgery Date:
5' 9" Height: 258 lb Start Weight:
151 lb Current Weight:
165 lb Goal Weight:
107 lb Weight Loss:
-14 lb Lb Left to Lose:
41.4728682171 % % Lost:
04/19/2008 Goal Date:
Body Mass Index 38.0957781979 BMI Start:
22.2963663096 BMI Current:
24.36357908 BMI Goal:
Weight Loss Method Roux en Y Gastric Bypass | Quote:
would you believe i have been journalling since my teens. what i write here isnt the half of it lol! i just like to write here to share.
__________________ Anything worth having is worth working for Kenya R. Lap RNY 4/19/07 | |
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03-17-2008, 01:44 PM
| #9 (permalink) |
| Seasoned Veteran Join Date: Apr 2007 Location: Mount Vernon, NY
Posts: 7,369
Weight Statistics 4/1/07 Start Date:
4/19/07 Surgery Date:
5' 9" Height: 258 lb Start Weight:
151 lb Current Weight:
165 lb Goal Weight:
107 lb Weight Loss:
-14 lb Lb Left to Lose:
41.4728682171 % % Lost:
04/19/2008 Goal Date:
Body Mass Index 38.0957781979 BMI Start:
22.2963663096 BMI Current:
24.36357908 BMI Goal:
Weight Loss Method Roux en Y Gastric Bypass | that was perfectly out doc. as always thank you for your words of wisdom
__________________ Anything worth having is worth working for Kenya R. Lap RNY 4/19/07 |
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03-17-2008, 02:14 PM
| #10 (permalink) |
| WLS Master Guru  Join Date: Jan 2007 Location: Ct
Posts: 840
Weight Statistics 03/29/07 Surgery Date:
5' 7" Height: 257 lb Start Weight:
137 lb Current Weight:
150 lb Goal Weight:
120 lb Weight Loss:
-13 lb Lb Left to Lose:
46.6926070039 % % Lost:
Body Mass Index 40.2474938739 BMI Start:
21.4548897305 BMI Current:
23.4907551793 BMI Goal:
Weight Loss Method Roux en Y Gastric Bypass  | Kenya, who you are today is because of who you were before WLS, that part of you is very important also. You don't have to leave that girl behind, maybe some of her thoughts of herself--you are learing to take care of yourself--don't forget that important word LEARNING. We will all make mistakes along our journey, but we must move on--don't expect yourself to be PERFECT---none of us can be. Enjoy this ride for what it is--it's you trying to live your new life the best way you know how. Try not to analyze too much and just enjoy. You deserve this great time in your life.
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