  | | 
03-17-2008, 10:23 AM
|
#1 (permalink)
| | Seasoned Veteran
Join Date: Apr 2007 Location: NY
Posts: 10,174
Weight Statistics 4/19/2007 Surgery Date:
5' 9"
Height:
260 lb Start Weight:
152 lb Current Weight:
165 lb Goal Weight:
108 lb Weight Loss:
-13 lb Lb Left to Lose:
41.5384615385 % % Lost:
Body Mass Index38.3910943079 BMI Start:
22.4440243646 BMI Current:
24.36357908 BMI Goal:
Weight Loss MethodRoux en Y Gastric Bypass
 |  Confessions
last night was a rough night. i have a lot on my mind which is nothing new. exactly what is on my mind? NO CLUE. i cant even sort it out. last night i got up and "binged" which is unusual. i mean i can see having a snack, but i had THREE ice cream sandwiches. THANK GOD they were the 100 calorie ones and no added sugar...but i mean WHY did i do that? why didnt i have enough self control to just roll over and count sheep?  im disappointed. i know today is a new day and all but im bummed out about it. i wonder how many nights i will let the days events rule me?
i feel like i am under so much pressure. im not working, but financially speaking there is no urgency. i'm sure i'll find something but WHEN? i have this guy who i want to just be PERFECT for and i want everything to work out. i STILL have a body image distortion issue. i think constantly about the future, whether or not i will screw this up, what i'm going to be when i grow up  my mind is just CONSTANTLY racing. when does my brain ever get a break? plus my body is sore from "working out" yesterday. so im laying here paralyzed TRAPPED by my thoughts lol. i should be in a padded room somewhere... 
i guess what i am wondering is, (here goes the noises from my head again) when do you get over all of this? there comes a point where you feel you are ready to move past being overweight. you feel great about yourself. you now have a sense of style you never knew was there as well as self esteem. you are feeling more positive about life and your health is EXCELLENT. so do you push the start button and just live? I DONT SEE THE BUTTON WHERE IS IT??? where is the end of the old and the beginning of the new? i still feel like i am stuck in fat kenya's head and life and sometimes body. im ready to cross the line into my "new life" but i dont see the line. where is it? LOL! wow i just read what i wrote and im sure you'll all think i am COO COO 
__________________  KenyaR. Lap RNY 4/19/07 | 
|  |  | Weight Loss Surgery Insurance | | | |
|
| |
03-17-2008, 10:40 AM
|
#2 (permalink)
| | Seasoned Veteran
Join Date: Oct 2007 Location: North West, NJ
Posts: 2,707
Weight Statistics 1/14/2008 Surgery Date:
5' 10"
Height:
330 lb Start Weight:
235 lb Current Weight:
200 lb Goal Weight:
95 lb Weight Loss:
35 lb Lb Left to Lose:
28.7878787879 % % Lost:
Body Mass Index47.3448979592 BMI Start:
33.7153061224 BMI Current:
28.693877551 BMI Goal:
Weight Loss MethodRoux en Y Gastric Bypass
|
I don't think you are crazy - you have sooooo much on your plate, I'm actually proud of you! But about the 'button'....I don't think there is one. I think it takes time to really start seeing yourself as the new you, not the old you...that's why I ask everyone if their new image (in the mirror) suprises them. I think once you start to see yourself as the new Kenya, the new Kenya will react different to situations too, just gunna take some time. Becoming a cop and having a gun should help...(kidding!) About the gun, yes, about becoming a cop, no. Most of my cousins are Newark New Jersey cops. You will be more fit (back away from the donuts!) and more confident, and less apealing to your ex (!)
| |
| | |
03-17-2008, 10:45 AM
|
#3 (permalink)
| | Seasoned Veteran
Join Date: Apr 2007 Location: NY
Posts: 10,174
Weight Statistics 4/19/2007 Surgery Date:
5' 9"
Height:
260 lb Start Weight:
152 lb Current Weight:
165 lb Goal Weight:
108 lb Weight Loss:
-13 lb Lb Left to Lose:
41.5384615385 % % Lost:
Body Mass Index38.3910943079 BMI Start:
22.4440243646 BMI Current:
24.36357908 BMI Goal:
Weight Loss MethodRoux en Y Gastric Bypass
|
LOL. one of my motivations for being a cop is the free gun  LOL!!!!
it takes time i know, but im a WHEN person. i need the date and time this change will be effective LOL! ugh!
__________________ KenyaR. Lap RNY 4/19/07 | |
| | |
03-17-2008, 10:48 AM
|
#4 (permalink)
| | Seasoned Veteran
Join Date: May 2007 Location: minnesota
Posts: 5,595
Weight Statistics july 21, 2007 Start Date:
august 17, 2007 Surgery Date:
5' 6"
Height:
339 lb Start Weight:
177 lb Current Weight:
160 lb Goal Weight:
162 lb Weight Loss:
17 lb Lb Left to Lose:
47.7876106195 % % Lost:
Body Mass Index54.7100550964 BMI Start:
28.5654269972 BMI Current:
25.8218549128 BMI Goal:
Weight Loss MethodRoux en Y Gastric Bypass
|
i do know alot of the feelings you are feeling, it is so hard just to move on, i really do not have any advice becuase i feel the same way, hopefully someone will be on here to help us out!
__________________   | |
| | |
03-17-2008, 10:51 AM
|
#5 (permalink)
| | Super Moderator
Join Date: Nov 2005 Location: Tokyo, Japan
Posts: 24,776
5' 5"
Height:
|
Kenyar, that's why this is called a journey. There is no *end of the old, start of the new* so to speak. We all carry some sort of baggage from the past--the only difference is, which baggage you are going to choose to carry, and which to leave behind. You can't leave everything behind, because whatever there was in the past, you wouldn't be here if one itsy bitsy thing had been different, and you will not got to the future if one itsy bitsy thing was different. The biggest difference probably is, is that you are starting to realize that you are only what you make yourself to be. Which is a very good place for the next stage to start.
((((((HUGS)))))
| 
| | |
03-17-2008, 11:50 AM
|
#6 (permalink)
| | WLS Mentor
Join Date: Aug 2006 Location: Saint Louis
Posts: 1,477
Weight Statistics 5/6/08 Surgery Date:
5' 10"
Height:
325 lb Start Weight:
149 lb Current Weight:
150 lb Goal Weight:
176 lb Weight Loss:
-1 lb Lb Left to Lose:
54.1538461538 % % Lost:
Body Mass Index46.6275510204 BMI Start:
21.3769387755 BMI Current:
21.5204081633 BMI Goal:
Weight Loss MethodRoux en Y Gastric Bypass
|
kenyar - maybe you could start a journal and write down on paper everything that you are feeling. maybe this can help you to focus on one thought at a time and at the same time give you the ability to get it all out..... hang in there!
__________________  joanne DePaul Weight Loss Institute
Saint Louis, Mo - May 6, 2008 _____________________________________________
"I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me." Philippians 4:13  http://joannes-journey.blogspot.com
url=http://www.TickerFactory.com/weight-loss/wPgwlBa/] 
[/url]
| |
| | |
03-17-2008, 11:51 AM
|
#7 (permalink)
| | WLS Master Guru
Join Date: Apr 2007 Location: Near St. Louis, MO.
Posts: 961
Weight Statistics 04/17/2007 Start Date:
April 30, 2007 Surgery Date:
5' 5"
Height:
296 lb Start Weight:
160 lb Current Weight:
150 lb Goal Weight:
136 lb Weight Loss:
10 lb Lb Left to Lose:
45.9459459459 % % Lost:
05/21/2008 Goal Date:
Body Mass Index49.2515976331 BMI Start:
26.6224852071 BMI Current:
24.9585798817 BMI Goal:
Weight Loss MethodRoux en Y Gastric Bypass
|
WOW Doc!!!!! That was so nicely put! I'm so thankful we have you here, you are SUCH a blessing! Kenya you are NOT COO COO....believe me, we ALL have those thoughts!
__________________
 | |
| | |
03-17-2008, 01:43 PM
|
#8 (permalink)
| | Seasoned Veteran
Join Date: Apr 2007 Location: NY
Posts: 10,174
Weight Statistics 4/19/2007 Surgery Date:
5' 9"
Height:
260 lb Start Weight:
152 lb Current Weight:
165 lb Goal Weight:
108 lb Weight Loss:
-13 lb Lb Left to Lose:
41.5384615385 % % Lost:
Body Mass Index38.3910943079 BMI Start:
22.4440243646 BMI Current:
24.36357908 BMI Goal:
Weight Loss MethodRoux en Y Gastric Bypass
|
Quote:
Originally Posted by wannabe skinny  kenyar - maybe you could start a journal and write down on paper everything that you are feeling. maybe this can help you to focus on one thought at a time and at the same time give you the ability to get it all out..... hang in there! |
would you believe i have been journalling since my teens. what i write here isnt the half of it lol! i just like to write here to share.
__________________ KenyaR. Lap RNY 4/19/07 | |
| | |
03-17-2008, 01:44 PM
|
#9 (permalink)
| | Seasoned Veteran
Join Date: Apr 2007 Location: NY
Posts: 10,174
Weight Statistics 4/19/2007 Surgery Date:
5' 9"
Height:
260 lb Start Weight:
152 lb Current Weight:
165 lb Goal Weight:
108 lb Weight Loss:
-13 lb Lb Left to Lose:
41.5384615385 % % Lost:
Body Mass Index38.3910943079 BMI Start:
22.4440243646 BMI Current:
24.36357908 BMI Goal:
Weight Loss MethodRoux en Y Gastric Bypass
|
that was perfectly out doc. as always thank you for your words of wisdom 
__________________ KenyaR. Lap RNY 4/19/07 | |
| | |
03-17-2008, 02:14 PM
|
#10 (permalink)
| | Seasoned Veteran
Join Date: Jan 2007 Location: Ct
Posts: 1,569
Weight Statistics 03/29/07 Surgery Date:
5' 7"
Height:
257 lb Start Weight:
134 lb Current Weight:
150 lb Goal Weight:
123 lb Weight Loss:
-16 lb Lb Left to Lose:
47.859922179 % % Lost:
Body Mass Index40.2474938739 BMI Start:
20.9850746269 BMI Current:
23.4907551793 BMI Goal:
Weight Loss MethodRoux en Y Gastric Bypass
|
Kenya, who you are today is because of who you were before WLS, that part of you is very important also. You don't have to leave that girl behind, maybe some of her thoughts of herself--you are learing to take care of yourself--don't forget that important word LEARNING. We will all make mistakes along our journey, but we must move on--don't expect yourself to be PERFECT---none of us can be. Enjoy this ride for what it is--it's you trying to live your new life the best way you know how. Try not to analyze too much and just enjoy. You deserve this great time in your life.
__________________  | |
| | | Thread Tools | | | | Display Modes |  Linear Mode | 
Posting Rules
| You may not post new threads You may not post replies You may not post attachments You may not edit your posts
HTML code is Off
| | | | |
Denise
