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03-22-2008, 06:46 PM
| #1 (permalink) |
| Seasoned Veteran  Join Date: Apr 2007 Location: Mount Vernon, NY
Posts: 7,369
Weight Statistics 4/1/07 Start Date:
4/19/07 Surgery Date:
5' 9" Height: 258 lb Start Weight:
151 lb Current Weight:
165 lb Goal Weight:
107 lb Weight Loss:
-14 lb Lb Left to Lose:
41.4728682171 % % Lost:
04/19/2008 Goal Date:
Body Mass Index 38.0957781979 BMI Start:
22.2963663096 BMI Current:
24.36357908 BMI Goal:
Weight Loss Method Roux en Y Gastric Bypass    |  i did it and i feel terrible... i was on line at wendy's and i noticed my line wasnt moving. i assumed it was because there was a lrge order causing all types of confusion etc. so i got real aggravated and i looked up there to see what was going on. it was an obese couple. ordering literally one of everything on the menu. and i cringed. as if i didnt know what it was like to BE them; with everyone staring and mumbling about "them" holding up the line...i feel terrible. i really do. i dont know how it is i assume myself to be apart from others. i dont feel as if i am better nor do i present myself in such a way. but it honestly just happend that way. when did i lose my understanding or compassion? when did "they" become "those people" and i become me? i didnt say anything out loud. i didnt say anything to them. i just felt bad for thinking the thoughts i did. i thought "what the hell are they ordering all that for anyways??" and "damn i hope i dont end up like that again". i ended up contemplating not even ordering because i didnt want to end up "like them"... i feel TERRIBLE...
__________________ Anything worth having is worth working for Kenya R.  Lap RNY 4/19/07     |
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03-22-2008, 07:04 PM
| #2 (permalink) |
| WLS Guru  Join Date: Sep 2007 Location: i live in Maine
Posts: 353
Blog Entries: 1 Weight Statistics March 25th 2008 Surgery Date:
5' 3" Height: 304 lb Start Weight:
238 lb Current Weight:
160 lb Goal Weight:
66 lb Weight Loss:
78 lb Lb Left to Lose:
21.7105263158 % % Lost:
1/16/10 Goal Date:
Body Mass Index 53.8453010834 BMI Start:
42.1552028219 BMI Current:
28.3396321492 BMI Goal:
Weight Loss Method Roux en Y Gastric Bypass | we are all entitled to our thoughts hun you were able to hold it to yourself instead of saying a thing and that takes guts my dear you are a wonderful lady with a big heart...its only nautral for your fears to surface.You wouldnt be human if you didnt have thoughts as such cause you used to be in those shoes...so please do not think less of your self.
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03-22-2008, 07:14 PM
| #3 (permalink) |
| WLS Guru  Join Date: Jan 2008 Location: New Zealand
Posts: 454
Blog Entries: 2 Weight Statistics 10/27/07 Start Date:
11 March 08 Surgery Date:
5' 3" Height: 239 lb Start Weight:
152 lb Current Weight:
143 lb Goal Weight:
87 lb Weight Loss:
9 lb Lb Left to Lose:
36.4016736402 % % Lost:
12/25/08 Goal Date:
Body Mass Index 42.3323255228 BMI Start:
26.9226505417 BMI Current:
25.3285462333 BMI Goal:
Weight Loss Method Roux en Y Gastric Bypass | aww... It does happen, the positive thing that can come out of this is that you have acknowledged your thoughts and have recognised your feelings of guilt. Give yourself a break. You have worked damn hard to get where you are. and dont forget that alot of people really do not have any idea of nutrition etc, even though the facts are obvious. *HUGS*
__________________ Leelee  Your Attitude determines Your Altitude   239lbs - lost 22lbs pre-op= 218lbs day of surgery.   |
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03-22-2008, 09:26 PM
| #4 (permalink) |
| WLS Guru  Join Date: Apr 2007 Location: Southwest Virginia
Posts: 498
Weight Statistics June 12, 2007 Surgery Date:
5' 5" Height: 330 lb Start Weight:
213 lb Current Weight:
180 lb Goal Weight:
117 lb Weight Loss:
33 lb Lb Left to Lose:
35.4545454545 % % Lost:
December, 2008 Goal Date:
Body Mass Index 54.9088757396 BMI Start:
35.441183432 BMI Current:
29.950295858 BMI Goal:
Weight Loss Method Roux en Y Gastric Bypass | The other day I was waiting on this woman to get in her car so I could pull my car in the empty space and she was taking her sweet time. She was very morbidly obese, in fact she looked a lot like my before. She just could not get situated or pulled into her seat. She looked like she was stuffed in this car. I caught myself getting really irritated with her and my hubby spoke up and said, "Honey, you remember what that was like, don't you?" Made me cry. Don't want to go back there either, Kenya.
__________________ Carpe Diem!!!  Genmel   |
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03-22-2008, 10:01 PM
| #5 (permalink) |
| Super Moderator  | You aren't as bad as you think. You know what is was like before, and you both also know after your initial reaction that it wasn't compassionate. You now also know what it seems to be, from a different vantage point. And while you fear for going back there yourselves, the fact that you felt guilty after the initial shock is that you ARE compassionate. How else would you feel guilty about your feelings? There was another thread about people treating you differently. Sometimes, it's not that they actually mean to be mean, but just that they don't know what to say/do to you so you will not feel defensive nor hurt. Once you get that *chip* (for the lack of a better word) off your shoulders, your confidence shows (as BreeChick said) and that encourages others to interact with you. I don't think you will ever lose true compassion, especially to those who are in the place you were. It's just that you don't know how to approach them and show them a chance to change if they so will it, and probably part of your irritation was from the fact that there are more ways than one to make the change, but only that person can make the decision, too. You know what kind of a *cage* it can be, and the realization of what the *cage* you were in looks like from the outside is a great shock. Once you get over the initial shock, I'm sure you'll know how to deal with your emotions and what to do in case there is something you can do, and so, the next time, you will feel more constructive with your emotions and your motions. ((((((HUGS))))))
__________________ "In every job that must be done, there is an element of fun."  Just a li'l bit 'bout myself |
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03-22-2008, 10:18 PM
| #6 (permalink) |
| Seasoned Veteran  Join Date: Jun 2007 Location: North Texas
Posts: 3,258
Blog Entries: 1 Weight Statistics I've lost/gained my whole life!!! Start Date:
Aug 1, 2007 Surgery Date:
5' 8" Height: 280 lb Start Weight:
148 lb Current Weight:
150 lb Goal Weight:
132 lb Weight Loss:
-2 lb Lb Left to Lose:
47.1428571429 % % Lost:
Summer 2008 Goal Date:
Body Mass Index 42.5692041522 BMI Start:
22.5008650519 BMI Current:
22.8049307958 BMI Goal:
Weight Loss Method Roux en Y Gastric Bypass  | I think we all have that fear....that we will fall into old habits....etc... I see people all the time...I was telling DDH...I see people that SHOULD have surgery...and I worry for other people...I wonder if people looked at me tha way.. Don't feel bad...I think it's normal... |
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03-22-2008, 11:03 PM
| #7 (permalink) |
| Whipper Snapper Join Date: Sep 2007 Location: Miami
Posts: 18
Weight Statistics 12/01/06 Start Date:
12/8/06 Surgery Date:
5' 9" Height: 288 lb Start Weight:
158 lb Current Weight:
170 lb Goal Weight:
130 lb Weight Loss:
-12 lb Lb Left to Lose:
45.1388888889 % % Lost:
Body Mass Index 42.5255198488 BMI Start:
23.3299726948 BMI Current:
25.1018693552 BMI Goal:
Weight Loss Method Roux en Y Gastric Bypass | Wendys? Kenya, if you where at Wendys for any reason other than chili.....than shame on you. Please dont misunderstand, i am not judging you. My WLS was 12/5/06 I hane not been back to Wendys, Mcdonalds, Burger King or any other fast food place. I prepare my lunches everyday and love them. BoarsHead deli meat everday with high protein bread. I do taka alot of supplements everyday....about 11-14 a day. do you feel guilty about going in Wendys? I used to buy Wendys chili until I syatred to make my own. I will give a great recipe for the best chili you haver had if you want. But lets stay out of Wendys my dear 
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03-22-2008, 11:09 PM
| #8 (permalink) |
| Seasoned Veteran Join Date: Apr 2007 Location: Mount Vernon, NY
Posts: 7,369
Weight Statistics 4/1/07 Start Date:
4/19/07 Surgery Date:
5' 9" Height: 258 lb Start Weight:
151 lb Current Weight:
165 lb Goal Weight:
107 lb Weight Loss:
-14 lb Lb Left to Lose:
41.4728682171 % % Lost:
04/19/2008 Goal Date:
Body Mass Index 38.0957781979 BMI Start:
22.2963663096 BMI Current:
24.36357908 BMI Goal:
Weight Loss Method Roux en Y Gastric Bypass | ray: LOL! i do eat fast food occasionally...and i have a 5 years old, so yes i was at wendy's. im not ashamed that i was there. and the fact that all i can eat is 6 - 8 french fries before i feel like i am going to puke, is also fine by me LOL! i tend to cook my own foods too however, today we were out and about so wendy's it was. i appreciate your concern, but eating fast food really isnt a "concern" for me, being that grease doesnt really agree with me to begin with 
__________________ Anything worth having is worth working for Kenya R. Lap RNY 4/19/07 |
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03-22-2008, 11:10 PM
| #9 (permalink) |
| Seasoned Veteran Join Date: Apr 2007 Location: Mount Vernon, NY
Posts: 7,369
Weight Statistics 4/1/07 Start Date:
4/19/07 Surgery Date:
5' 9" Height: 258 lb Start Weight:
151 lb Current Weight:
165 lb Goal Weight:
107 lb Weight Loss:
-14 lb Lb Left to Lose:
41.4728682171 % % Lost:
04/19/2008 Goal Date:
Body Mass Index 38.0957781979 BMI Start:
22.2963663096 BMI Current:
24.36357908 BMI Goal:
Weight Loss Method Roux en Y Gastric Bypass | everybody: i thank you all for your kind words. i didnt mean to think mean thoughts. somehow they just happend. but i aknowledge TOTALLY that it was wrong and i dont in any way deny where i came from. i guess thats what made me feel guilty to begin with. i hope, doc, you are right. you always add such wisdom and insight in positive ways. i appreciate you!!
__________________ Anything worth having is worth working for Kenya R. Lap RNY 4/19/07 |
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03-23-2008, 06:59 AM
| #10 (permalink) |
| Seasoned Veteran  Join Date: Dec 2007 Location: Hudson Falls, NY
Posts: 1,981
Weight Statistics 12-19-07 Start Date:
1-29-08 Surgery Date:
5' 3" Height: 286 lb Start Weight:
182 lb Current Weight:
150 lb Goal Weight:
104 lb Weight Loss:
32 lb Lb Left to Lose:
36.3636363636 % % Lost:
eventually Goal Date:
Body Mass Index 50.6570924666 BMI Start:
32.2363315697 BMI Current:
26.5684051398 BMI Goal:
Weight Loss Method Roux en Y Gastric Bypass | I'm sorry Kenya. I feel for ya. I'm still heavy and I see people eating the propotions I used to and I'm like how could they eat all that, but I used to! I guess it's because even though we haven't done 'this' for as long as we did 'that', our minds think, god I could never eat all that! oh BTW, you'll be proud! I ate some dannon light and fit yogurt with SB granola this morning for BREAKFAST and I didn't get sick!!!!!!!!
__________________ Kelly 5'3"    |
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