[kstate_armywife]

First of all, HI EVERYONE! Just joined today and I've been dying to ask this question.

I'm in the process of getting the "lapband" procedure, and I have had a setback.
When I had my psych eval, the medical report that the psychologist wrote was very offensive and said very hurtfull things about my personality and what she inferred about myself. But the most hurtful thing was that she thinks I'm "not mature enough" and I need to "wait until my life is more predictable". HA HA...I'm a mother of 2 toddlers, and an army wife..my life will never be predictable. And as for mature, I had my 2 daughters when I was very young and I matured faster than anyone I know. I don't mean to toot my own horn, but I am one of the most independant, acheived, mature persons I know my age.

Has anyone else been put down by the psych eval and told they need to wait?

Thanks in advance for any of your advice.

[DocSanae]

Welcome to the board, thank you for joining us.

I am sorry to hear of your psych result, but please consider this.
This surgery is as much a mind trip, as it is a physical trip.
The emotional roller coaster ride, emotional instability immediately before, and for quite some time following the surgery, is quite common.
It's quite well known now that depression can become your partner for a while post op, even if you haven't had that issue pre op. If you've had depression in the past, the likelihood is that it can pop up again, sometimes with a vengence.
Also, you do need to be aware that howevermuch you may not like hearing this, addiction transfer can take place post op for some people, which can be prevented with effective care.
If you have two small children and your life is hectic taking care of them, the emotional issues that you will have to face while losing weight and adjusting can be a tough job, and for the children, your emotional state will affect them in one way or another. An unhappy mother is difficult for kids, but so are mothers who have mood and emotion ups and downs.

I know it hurts to hear of how you are evaluated psychologically, but I hope you will consider this not an insult to you, but a chance for you to look into yourself and your life, and deal with issues that are still small and can be dealt with easily so it won't grow and become more difficult to deal with, later on, and consider it a boon that you can do this while preparing for surgery.

You do need to be very much aware what this surgery can and cannot do for you before you go under the surgeon's knife. You need to be aware that surgery itself is only a tool, and not a magic wand that will make your excess weight and your troubles go away overnight. You need to be well aware that it will take a whole lot of hard work, much much more than you are probably imagining right now, to make the surgery work, and to make it keep on working for you for the rest of your life. It will affect not only your weight, but your entire life, both the present and the future.

What the pyshc eval means that you need to search and research more about this surgery. It doesn't mean you aren't denied completely, just that you need to do a bit more preparing.
Please read through this board, and other support boards as well, you will find many many threads and posts on the emotional side of this surgery.
Check out Family and Loved Ones, Stupid Questions, Coffee Talk, Personal Thoughts, these are the places where most of the threads dealing with the mind trip are.

Please go into this fully warned and fully armed.

((((((HUGS))))) May your journey go well.

[stella blue]

Some evaluators are not really even Dr's and can be Jerks. Go to someone else. Then just smile and nod through it. I know it sounds dishonest but that's what I did. The guy I got was actually someone I went to highschool with and he was a total jerk. Thankfully he didn't recognize me and I got through it. NO ONE KNOWS YOU BETTER THAN YOURSELF! Remember that. Also the so called professionals have no idea how painful it is to be fat...most of them anyway. Best of luck and hang in there sis

[Darla]

I totally agree with Doc, after having the surgery I think we go through a total roller coaster ride. I knew the changes I had to make and understood the rationales, but honestly its totally different after the surgery. I wasn't very emotional before the surgery but know I am a little more emotional these days. This board and the people on it have been awesome and sometimes just reading the post makes me feel better.


Darla

[kbfrmaz]

I agree with Doc, however I also agree you may want to go through another evaluation and see if another doc sees it the same way. Psychologists are people like us, and not always objective as they should be- maybe yours was spot on, but maybe not.....we get 2nd opinions for our physical health, why not our mental health?

[kimtindall]

Totally agree with KB. Find another Psych for a 2nd opinion. Maybe if he/she finds the same results, you can talk to him/her about it.

[A new me]

I agree with Doc and the ladies too. This is defintely a roller coaster ride and the biggest hurdle I would say over this past year has been the mind part of it. I dont
think I was prepared enough for the mental part of it. Dont get me wrong I would
do this over again in a heartbeat but the mental rollercoaster ride that Doc mentioned is a HUGE part of this.

I also agree with the ladies. Go get your self another opinion and see what happens. Best of luck and hang in there.

[Trulykath]

a lot of people look at bariatric procedures as the easy way out....we are all here to tell you....THERE ISN"T ANYTHING EASY ABOUT THIS. It's one of the hardest things I've ever done....daily emotional ups/downs. It's almost like surgical bi-polar....one day you can be WAY UP...the next, you've had a major set back and you are so DOWN.

Take this opportunity to evaluate all aspects. If you think the doctor is wrong, get a 2nd opinion. Could be, the psychologist just helped you out BIG time. Only you know that for sure!

[kstate_armywife]

I think most of you misunderstood what I was saying. I am a highly educated invididual working on my Masters in PSYCHOLOGY at Kansas State University. I have suffered from depression in the past and I know fully well what depression does and how a surgery can effect my life. What my psychologist meant was that she thinks my life hasn't matured enough because I was a former drug addict before I had children, she says that there hasn't been enough time in between there (4 YEARS) to have a "predictable" life. I have participated in numerous group therapy sessions and 2 of them were from bariatric surgery patients. I have studied the effects and became intimate with them in ways you wouldn't belive! But thanks for that anyway.

[Christy0283]

With your explaining what the dr. meant by what was said, I still think you should get a 2nd opinion. I mean, what would it hurt? Keep us posted on what happens and I'm wishing you the best of luck.