[katd]

Hey guys,
I don't know if something is wrong with me or if this is normal. I've lost 60lbs so far, I feel better and look better (at least I think so). The problem is that I am kinda getting annoyed with the "Hey skinny", "You're just wasting away", etc, etc comments. This past weekend, we went to my sisters home in Georgia. Well, my sisters and one of my sister from Georgia's friend were commenting on how good I looked. My other sister made the comment "but she cheated!" That comment really "pissed me off" because I don't feel like I cheated in anything. I have struggled for so long with my weight, for at least 20 years. Now, that I am losing weight for good, why is it that I am "cheating". I don't think she meant to hurt my feelings but it did. Yes, I had help but ultimately, it is gonna be up to me to keep the weight off. I guess the comments also annoy me a little because I am still overweight. I am 227 lbs, far from being skinny or wasting away. Is it normal to go through being tired of hearing the comments and even the compliments????????????????????

[DocSanae]

What you are going through sounds pretty normal to me. There've been threads and posts time and again along this theme. The person inside you haven't changed, but how you look on the outside is changing, which is what most people see, not who you are, but what you look like. That will be annoying for anyone.
Have you gone through Family and Loved Ones?
You might find something that will help you there.
(((((HUGS)))))

[Robbin]

Katrina,

I can understand what you are saying, I think what I am tired of the most is when I get a call from someone i don't see alot and the first words out of their mouth, "how much weight have you lost???" Ewwwwww.
I didn't want alot of people to know and now I wish I would not have told the ones I did. !!! They don't seem to understand....
Nothing about how you are feeling etc.....
I just tell them i am doing OK., thanks for asking and then change the subject really fast . I just figure they have to be more interested in more about me then the physicle appearence. Why ask???

I understand and you will know when the compliments are sincere, I have learned along the way how some people don't even notice.
Who knows, maybe those folks won't even know me a year from now.

Good luck with your ups and downs. The Family and loved ones is a good source to read...as are all of the posts., I sometimes have a hard time on where to start!!!!! LOL And you did not cheat onn your weight loss., we did what we thought was good for us not just physicly, but for our health and well being. I personally did not want to die young....

It is hard to take a good compliment and feel good about it, being heavy for so very long I felt so ugly and yucky for so many years that I am finding it hard to take an honest compliment seriously....
I am working on that though., my clothes don't lie., that I feel wonderful about.
Hey walk with your head high and let everyone know that you are finally getting what you have wanted for years and are very proud of yourself....even in the car now that I can move the seat up closer to the steering wheel I find myself sitting up straighter. Is that silly?????
You made me think.....thankyou for that....I needed to do a little reflecting myself on how others look at me and what I have gone through.
I had a wedding this past weekend (my sons) and I got alot of second looks, some made a few nice comments but most respected my privacy and just made comments like you look wonderful!!! I appreciated that.

Keep up the great work and i truly hope to get to know you better Katina..I love your photo, what beach is behind you??? Looks like a wedding photo?????? How lucky.

I am down as of friday last week 58 pounds since may 11th....not too far from your date....Yahooooo.

ROBBIN

[katd]

Thank you, Thank you, Thank you Robbin for your post. You almost made me cry. I will continue to walk with my head high, my clothes fitting and feeling better and with more confidence. Yes, that is a wedding photo in April before my surgery. The beach is North Mrytle Beach in SC (my home). My husband and I have been together forever (8yrs) but just got married. I think I need to update my photo. Thanks again for the encouragement. I guess we could be called the May Day Losers!!!

[katd]

Doc, thanks for your words of wisdom. I will definetly go to Family and Loved Ones.

[fr1endly2]

KATINA its a very difficult journey we are on!
YES, people who have not researched and gone thru
gastric bypass will always think its an easy way out.
BUT us who went down this path know that its not.

THIS journey comes with many mood swings up and down
so i feel that your acting normal with how your feeling.
ITS hard, hang in there. ITs your decision and when you are
at your ideal weight you will know.
SORRY your going thru all this but for me the first
year was full of emotional ups and downs.
HUGs

[njmom]

I don't have any wise words of wisdom, just stopping by to offer support. Just hold your head high and know that you made this decision for you not for anyone else.

[Pillows]

Katina...I can relate to your feelings so well. There are a good majority of people that have been awesome with my loss, but there is also a person that although well meaning is kinda grating on the nerves a bit....whenever he sees me and my hubby together, he asks...who is this beautiful woman? I know that he is just trying to say that he thinks it is great how much I have lost, but it kinda annoys the hubby having to joke about it all the time and gets a bit uncomfortable. I have heard the easy out accusation before too, and it isn't fun either. Some people just don't know how to react or behave. Try to gauge where their reaction is stemming from and remember that you are entitled to every bit of happiness along the journey. Some of their comments will be from jealousy and lack of knowledge regarding the surgery and others will be coming from an actual concern over the health issues. I know this doesn't make it not annoying, but at least helps to be able to tactfully put up with it. I hope that you continue to succeed and we are actually really close to the same weight right now...how cool is that? You look stunning in your picture and I look forward to your updated pic soon.
Janae

[katd]

Thanks guys for all the support and "words of wisdom". It is awesome to get advice from someone taking the same journey as you are. I have decided to brush those negative and "stupid" comments off my shoulder. I will hold my head high and remember that I am a happier, HEALTHIER person. Janae, I actually took a few pics over the weekend, I need to download them and show off my "smaller" me! It is so amazing to see the weight loss before and afters on this site. It is really encouraging to see everyone looking so much healthier (I won't say better, because we all looked good before the surgery!!)

[ssbcr91]

Even though you think you have far to go from being "skinny/wasting away" enjoy, I had my bypass nearly 2yrs ago and my husband has not even made one postive comment. I went from 283 to 177, had about 5 1/2 months problems in and out the hospital almost every 2wks until they decided to reverse it march a year ago. as far as cheating, nothing about this is cheating, you will still have those struggles, and ups and downs. I have learned don't listen to anyone do as you feel is what you need. Like i tell my children, when someone says something negative to you or hurts your feelings, there is something about you that makes them jealous or you have something they wish you had
Keep up the work, when able I'll add some before/after pictures