[skinnydip]

Here's the outcome of the Mommy panic
So, I didn't even ask Gordo if he wanted the scale. He dropped the subject and so did I.

Last week he caught his best (girl) friend necking in the stairwell with his best friend.

Yesterday, his tennis mate didn't attend because she is grounded until summer for getting drunk.

Today one of his friends got suspended because he pushed a guy into the wall who called him a fag in front of eberybody.

My son is 12 years old.

I wasn't prepared for this. I mean, come on, we live in a good neighborhood with blue ribbon schools; the hs is # 2 in all Texas (is that a take on the high class drunk?)

Anyway, what to do. I've been fighting my own battles and looks like I'm going to have to pay attention to someone else for a change (I don't neglect them, but you know what I mean).

So, because we don't belong to a church, a friend of mine suggested I go to Al-anon. She said of course my son is not a drunk, but it does run on both sides of my family, I obviously have an addictive personality or I wouldn't have gotten to 370 ( I have no shame admitting if I hadn't used food I can easily see me using another substance. Dead is dead. Death is non-judgemental as to method of choice)

She said Al-anon taught her how to handle the teen years as they came along and helped her support and guide her child as opposed to becoming frustrated and perpetuating generations of poor coping skills.

I'm going to try it. I want to break the cycle and I am the first to say that I spent most of my life eating rather than developing life skills.

So, in a way, losing weight was fun compared to this! But at least I'm a good place for my kids instead of being numbed out.

So I may have a nice bod, but now the rubber meets the road. I have taken responsibility for myself. Can I now take responsibility for someone else?

I will.

Vicki

[CraigT]

Al-Anon can be AWESOME depending on the group you go to. Really proud of your willingness to continue to look for solutions. I am going to pray that a good church Finds YOU......

[Pillows]

Good luck Vicki, I know that this can't be easy on you. My son is only six right now, so I don't exactly know firsthand yet, but there is a teenage boy that used to live right across the street from me that became like a younger brother to me when we lived there. I still check in on him from time to time, and I worry about him a lot. He is into drinking right now with smoking, and had a scary moment when he wondered if he was going to be a dad at age 16. Things are so scary. I hope that Al-Anon helps him. I know that when I was having a hard time in high school, one thing that helped me was a drug-free youth summer camp that I went to 2 years in a row. They had a camp that was mandatory for some, but mostly voluntary where we could go and learn coping skills, hear great motivational speakers, and learn how to have fun without drugs. They had this really awesome course that they would run you through in your "family" groups that would teach you teamwork and trust. Even though the experience didn't cure everything going on around me, it did help buffer it and let me know that there were other kids out there that felt like I did and were overcoming great obstacles. I will agree with Craig in the hope that a good church will find you. I know that without my faith and knowledge of who I am and why I am here, I would be completely lost. Just remember that you are loved and your son is loved by someone/something so great none of us can truly fathom what it all means. No matter what you always have someone in your corner cheering you on and wanting you both to succeed. Oh yeah, and you also have us. Let us know if this helps. I only hope and pray that eventually my "adopted little bro back west" will find a group like Al-Anon to help him too.
Big Huge Hug
Janae