[kawahine]

Aloha everyone,
I'm not liking all this attention and questions that people barage me with. Most are well intending but...I've always been comfortable being "invisible" with my wallflower and heavy look. Weight issues always spark gossip, interest and sometimes ill wishes.

I'm afraid that I might undo my progress by sabotaging my weight loss ... just to feel comfortable and acceptable. I do know that others would LOVE for me to pack on weight again. Most "ill intenders" say that I look like I've been sick...and not to lose too much.

I'm alittle depressed recently..because I don't know where I fit in...or how to act. As you see... I cannot even post a "new" picture of myself...only this old origional look remains on my CP.

Any words of advice??

[angelmolly20]

I know how you feel.. it is uncomfortable getting attention when your not use to it. people always want the scoop, but you only have to share what you choose to share. I choose not to share that I had WLS, only with a chosen few. Please dont let other people determine your health. Keep up the good work and you will soon feel comfortable with your new self. I am 4 1/2 yrs out and now most people do not remember me as anything else but thin. ( I only wish that I could always see myself as thin....we continue to see our old self) People will only focus on you for so long and once they see that you continue to stay healthy, well then your old news and they go on to something or someone else. So just hang in there, I bet you look awesome. Im sure that alot of the people really are sincere with their compliments tho. so just take them and be proud......Keep your chin up and continue with your success......

[Kenyar]

OMG i was there. i even posted about it on here. i didnt go out for a while. i stayed home because i felt like everyone; even strangers, were staring. men began approaching me. it was very hard to adjust to. i still have trouble now. i agree with a lot of what mary ann is saying. i think you should take pictures of your self. look at yourself in the mirror everyday. put on your old clothes and look at yourself (if you still have at least one item) it is a head game from here on out. dont let ppl change the hardwork and progress you have made. you have to look at yourself and realize that THIS is who you are. there is no hiding anymore. slowly over time you will ease into it. i think the speed at which the loss happends is so traumatic to some of us but you will be ok with it. trust me

you have come a long way. celebrate it!

[kawahine]

Thanks Mary Ann and Kenya!! I am trying to look at myself in the mirror when I get smaller clothes. I just want to hide!!! I gravitate to larger women...and find that they sometimes look at me with slight hesitation...like why? Pretty women give me more attitude. I am not a threat.

I'm glad that this is a phase...right now its a little "buyers remorse"...only socially. Because my health is 100 % better.

Thanks again.

[judijo]

I am SO there with you, sister! I loved the fact that people ignored me pre-op. I am not comfortable with people approaching me at all. (which is why I knew that party last weekend was not a good match for me.) I was always comfortable in the skin I was in.

But my health got the better of me and I had to do something to lose the weight. Now I pretty much give people the cold shoulder when they say anything beyond "looking good", etc. I just say thank you. Upon further questions I don't do anything to provoke further conversations.

[gradualwisd0m]

I have always been overweight. I've learned to be funny as many overweight people do. Not "funny-look-at-her" but mostly having a bright sense of humor and always making people laugh. I've always tried to give off the impression of an optimistic person.

People don't approach me now. I sometimes think about what it will be like when I'm closer to a healthier weight. There's a big difference between someone being 280 pounds and being 130-140 pounds. I've never been able to cross my legs. I feel like people look at my shopping cart when we go shopping and judge me that way. I guess this is why I like my job as a call center representative - all they know is my voice!

[Hoi Polloi]

Being noticed has never been a problem for me, even back in high school when I wore single digit sizes I was the nerdy, smart, sarcastic girl with my nose in a book. I had plenty of friends but never got much notice from boys. I've been divorced 14 years and I know now that my weight gain was the result of being in an abusive marriage. I'm an empty nester and I decided enough is enough I want my health back so I can get out and do the things I like to do. I used to run, ride horses, cross country ski, go hunting and camping and I want to do those things again. I want to be able to get on my knees and plant a flat of flowers again without being in agony!

Think about all things you can enjoy doing with a healthy body that you couldn't do before. Focus on the positive things that make you happy, not the negative that makes you feel bad. Remember the reason why we had this surgery was to heal ourselves and have a more positive outlook on life. I hope you can come to enjoy your newly found freedom and vitality.

[kawahine]

Mahalo...cat scratch achiever! You're right...I've got to take responsibility for my thoughts and actions. I'm divorced too...5 yrs...and the weight actually piled on during the last 4 yrs of "unhappiness" before the divorce. My health is 100% better, and although I am uncomfortable with the interest from others...I must feel better about myself so I can withstand "gossip" and curiosity. thanks to all for your support. It helps.

kawahine. * I still have to work on taking a new picture. Hate cameras. - still imbedded in old views.

[Kenyar]

you can start by taking pics for YOU to look at. look and the old you and the new you side by side....it will blow your mind. one day at a time

[ksummer19]

I think it'll take us all a while before we get use to fianlly being accepted into the real world per say. I always was the shy, quite one and honestly think as I got older I just let the weight come on so I'd have an excuse not to go out. My ex was in the business where we were always being wined and dined. I hated it. New people, fancy restaurants, trying to strick up a conversation with people you don't know.... Eventally I quit going and he gave up and left. Back in 90/91 I lost 88 lbs to reach 133lbs (huh, now I've lost 172 and still don't weigh 133) and I remember totally hating the way people started treating me differently. What the heck I'd think 'I'm the same person on the inside'.

One of the first comments I made on here was that I hoped I was mature enough to handle the attention I knew or hoped that I would get. Guess what?? I love it and eat it up. I deserve it and worked darn hard to get here. I am healthier and now wiser.

Remember you only need to reply to those you want to and kindly excuse the others.

As for chaging your picture try this;
Go to your User CP up top
then to your Settings and Options
click on Edit Avatar
Then to Option #2 (Upload imange from your computer)
click Browse (find picture from your saved photos)
click save and there you go.