[Brender]

I am preparing for WLS and am wondering what kind of reactions people have had from family? My family is very supportive now, but they are also overweight. Also how did such large weight loss effect your personality/the way you look at yourself?

[amina6ae]

Well, at first my family wasn't so for the surgery since I have never had any surgery before we were all worried.. As I spoke to them they understood that I was knowledgeable about what I was doing & truly needed this life saving procedure.
As far as family & friends now.... some say to stop losing, that I've lost enough, others said that after 40 lbs was gone!!!!HEHEHE!!!

How do I FEEL??? Absolutely wonderful~~~~~ I have struggled my entire life with weight, there has never been a time that I can remember that I actually felt "normal" at least size wize!!!
I can walk proudly anywhere without caring WHO is staring at that "fat lady" or for that matter, I don't even care if they do stare!!!
My self esteem has soared through the roof, NO I'm NOT saying my head is gonna pop off or anything, but life truly is great now!!!
Having a strong support system is a great key in success of this surgery.. Keep posting here, great place for support!!!

LOL,

[Perfesser]

My wife was very opposed to it when I first brought it up. After watching me go through it, though, she changed her mind and had WLS last month. I didn't tell anyone in the family. We live far enough from them I could do the whole thing without anyone knowing, and I didn't want to suffer fools telling me I was gonna die a terrible death as a result of doing this. By the time they saw the new me, it was too late for the horror stories. Peanut told everyone she was going to do it, and as a result of seeing my success, they have all been supportive to a greater or lesser degree.

You cannot imagine the difference in your outlook on life!! The feeling of confidence you get when you kill the enemy that's been making your life hell for decades! The praises of those around as you shed those pounds! I haven't experienced it myself, but some of the women here have commented on sincere wolf whistles, a totally new experience. Your outlook on life will change because it suddenly comes into focus that you will have more of it than if you had not taken control. Your health improves so you feel better. Your joints stop hurting. Need I go on?

It'll make a change in the way you look at just about everything! And how people look at you, too! If your current relationship is shaky, there are no guarantees it will survive WLS. If it's strong, it'll probably come out stronger. The WLS doesn't ruin the relationship, it changes the dynamic of it. As you emerge from your shell and come out of hiding, you are changing things in your life. If the other half has no wish to change, or feels threatened because you will no longer be under control, or may stray, well, there are sad stories aplenty. But it's a risk we take, and take willingly, to have a life again.

It's a lot of hard work to do it right, but it is SOOOO worth it!! Ask anyone here and see if they'd do it again. The regrets are usually that we took so long to do it, not that we did it.

Good luck!

CT

[gradualwisd0m]

So far I've told my mom, my dad, officially told 1 of my sisters (I have 3 sisters) and 1 of my brothers (I have 3 brothers). My family have been supportive so far but they live 4 1/2 hours away from me so they don't see me that often.

What's helped them is that one of my dad's sisters and her son both had RNY gastric bypass and one of my mom's sisters had it as well. My parents have a few people from their church that have had the surgery and they see how much it improved their lives. My siblings, so far, have been supportive.

My family, as well, is overweight. No, not just overweight. There are 7 kids in my family and I bet you we're all obese to some degree or another if not at least moderately obese.

My in-laws have been VERY supportive along with my husband's relatives.

[sburtonh]

My sisters were against it but now they are supportive. My wife was supportive but now thinks I am too thin. I haven't lost any friends but I dont have many because I don't do much outside of my family.

[MsVickie]

Well I didnt lose any friends. Now i say that because sometimes that word is just used to loosely somtimes. Think about that one and Im sure you will know what I mean.

My family was very supportive especially my husband he married me like I was. it has made us very much stronger. Like CT said........ If it was strong to begin with it should last.

All of my brothers i have 3 and no sisters all have been great. And very honest about every step especially the one im closest in age with. We are not the closest relationship wise but hes the most honest with me. Im very thankful for that. Hey they are my closest family and they will be family. They all think it saved my life and it did.

The coworkers are the ones that struggle with it the most. Or in my case it was them. Jealously is part of a factor with that.

Do we change......sure we would have to. Im still the same person I always have been with a new outlook on life and my husband my son and my best friend love it. I didnt have to worry about people talking about me behind my back because I did enough of that to myself. AKA fat jokes. Yep im guitly of doing that one to myself. it was cry about it or have a laugh at myself. At the time I chose to laugh about myself.

Its the best thing I ever did in my life. Would I do it again YOU BETCHA! In the end your doing this for yourself. Its time to put you first. Sure there is another list of things your doing it because of but your doing it for YOU. Its a hard place to put yourself at but in the end its you. i did it for the love of my family to stay around and watch them grow achieve and play with them again.

[Brender]

Wow...thanks for sharing. I went for my psych evaluation and he wants me to get some counseling for my eating habits before I do the surgery, but he said I was a good candidate. I tend to skip meals especially breakfast) and occasionally binge eat. I am becoming more confident in my decision to have the surgery...thanks to reading about all of you.

[kimtindall]

Sounds as though it was a great appt today then!! You are getting somewhere...learning before you leap!

[Perfesser]

Brender, you have just received some great counsel from the doc. Heed it! It is so much easier to change your habits pre-op in that you have much less of a penalty if you slip. After your operation, your pouch will be VERY intolerant of poor eating habits, and it can make your life miserable when it gets upset at you!!

Make an appointment with someone who specializes in eating disorders and figure out how to address these issues. In the meantime, practice eating the way you will be post-op. Chew to excess every SMALL bite of food you put in your mouth, then chew it some more. Ideally, you won't have to swallow because it'll run down your throat all by itself. Do not drink within 30 minutes of starting to eat or 30 minutes of finishing (the 30-30 rule). Eat your protein first, fruit and veggies second, and defer the carbs for last, if there is room. Kill the sugars!!

If you do this rigorously, your eating disorders will be so much easier to address because ... well ... good habits tend to breed good habits! As you make these changes, you will gain a whole new insight into the way our food culture rewards bad habits and ignores the good. But we have all decided to reject that culture and forge our own.

After WLS, you will have no choice but to behave and eat right. Start now and it's one less stress post-op.

You can do it! That's why you're here. Coming here at all is a sign of strength and of a desire to make it work. You have the motivation. All you have to do now is target it correctly and you're home free!!

Good luck!

CT