[Kenyar]

I am sitting watching Oprah and my mind is reeling...

I know this is a repeat. But it is my first time seeing this episode. They go into Carnie Wilson's reasons for having bypass, failing at maintaining, the reality of having to do the work mentally and physically in order to be successful etc etc.

* she says something that hit a point with me. she was under so much pressure. that's it! thats what i am feeling to an extent. pressure. there is so much pressure. pressure to lose and keep it off. pressure to adapt quickly and ACCEPT that you are different and will never be 'normal' pressure to appear happy with your results. pressure to present this new lifestyle as one that you want and can live with with ease - like normal ppl. i dont know about you but each day is equally as hard for me. food is everywhere! i've not gotten to a point where any of this is 'easy'...maybe its just me.

I will say this, i think Bob Greene is against the surgery. In 2-3 questions he asked Carnie I picked up on that. I am very defensive of my choice to have this. I dont know why it is ppl always pick this as a focal point--the easy way out, did you understand the risks, etc--to start in on the subject negatively doesnt really give it a fair shot. I understand that he is a recognized trainer, but he doesnt get that its not as simple for everyone as he makes it out to be. no one who hasnt been where WE HAVE understands this...

there were 4 questions Bob Greene (the trainer) asks at the end of the segment. he says if you cant answer these questions truthfully you will never be a success at healthy living. I kind of agree. Here they are:

1. why are you overweight?
2. what are you REALLY hungry for?
3. why have you been unable to maintain weightloss in the past?
4. Why do you want to lose weight?

i think these are important for ppl contemplating the surgery as well as those of us who are already a ways out. what do you think?


the timing of all these wls shows i have caught in the last few days is PERFECT. i needed a 'refresher' i suppose...sometimes you get caught up in life. you dont FORGET you're a wls patient, but at the same time it's not exactly in the forefront the further out you get. its easy to just go on with life and stay away from things that make you sick but really how closely are you following the "rules"? i think the more i see shows about this, the more REAL it becomes for me. i mean i know it's real because i had the surgery, but i dont feel so alien anymore knowing there are shows and groups dedicated to US and this procedure WE had. it's kind of cool.

thanks for reading.

[clancythecamper]

Great post!

1. why are you overweight? Because I ate more than I worked off
2. what are you REALLY hungry for? Acceptance, Appreciation
3. why have you been unable to maintain weightloss in the past? Because I liked eating what I wanted, when I wanted and how much I wanted ~ at least til it started to kill me......
4. Why do you want to lose weight? (or maintain, as the case may be) Because I have learned more about myself and about my health and have a desire to take care of me, not just fulfill a momentary desire. I'm ready to be at the next level.


I appreciate what you stated about expectations and feeling like we somehow have something to live up to. Just think, Kenya, maybe Bob's feeling a bit threatened ~ I mean WLS does make a dent in his diet book sales......

Thanks for sharing

[Kenyar]

haha so true about Bob...i didnt think of it that way. thanks for shedding light.

and now because i am a dipstick and forgot, i will answer the questions too LOL!

1. why are you overweight?
protection. i have always felt inadequate in all aspects of my life and being fat kept ppl away. i did not realize this fully until i lost the weight.

2. what are you REALLY hungry for?
self acceptance...

3. why have you been unable to maintain weightloss in the past?
greed. emotional eating. no care for consequence etc.

4. Why do you want to lose weight? i wanted to lose weight because i was afraid i would have a stroke, my asthma was bad, and i was so heavy walking down the street was a chore. i want to maintain now because i see how sweet life is, and while nothing is promised, i have a better shot at being here a bit longer

[MsVickie]

1. why are you overweight?
2. what are you REALLY hungry for?
3. why have you been unable to maintain weightloss in the past?
4. Why do you want to lose weight?


1. Because I used to eat way to much. Wasnt satisfied when eating. It was my friend that didnt help me do anything but want more of it.

2. Being able to live. Move when I wanted without help, Walk without getting winded.

3. My friend kept nagging me to come back especially when times were bad or when I would be down about things. It soothed me while I was with it. The next day it was there again on my side.

4. To live. My health suffered greatly for years and all my friend did was help ad to my misery. Its miserable getting to 365 and not being able to do nothing but sit and watch. Life almost stopped for me. I took the reins and said ok Im gonna live im gonna live. Im living. I didnt do this to get sexy looking or wear the lastest fashion I did this to live. Nothing more. The rest is just extra bonuses that come with it. For me it is. In reality I saved my life.

I have always said unless you have been there and done that like we have you will never ever truly understand. You will find empathy in some. Meaning they try to understand without feeling sorry for you. You will find sympthany in some meaing they feel sorry for you. And others who just dont care you look really bad to them and dont associate with you.

Bob is a empathy man with a little I dont care unless you get up off your butt and conform to the program. Some of us cant because of health problems to begin with. Some of us after the surgery hitting goal still cant do certian things. On me its my knee.

I will admit I havnt seen Carnie in the last few years. She was a star and still is. She will never look right in the eyes of the world meaning she didnt stay skinny like she was when she was a HIT to so many. She had the surgery and had her bounce. Meaning when gaining even 10 pounds back she failed? Look at Kirstie Alley. Shes a bigger star went on one of those nutrisystem diets.... they got new spokeswoman and she went back to eating. Shes a star so she is always under a microscope.

Oprah, I have never been a fan. She depresses me. I couldnt tell you right now if she is skinny heavy or what. Part of what made Oprah what she is today is her weight. My mom used to watch her faithfully. I remember he walking out on the stage in those little jeans pulling the wagon of fat behind her. She just drank I guess what is now I think is Slim Fast shakes? She didnt eat. Yall know how it is before on the liquid diet and right afterwards. How can someone just drink your meal and have nothing else?

Each time she would gain some the wedding of the century got postponed. Steidman didnt want a fat wife plain an simple. Yes she stated that. She said she will never marry him but he still hangs on her I think?

Kenyar I have hit my goal. Im not like some of you all in saying what next? I suppose my health is part of why I dont ask that question. Im happy. Which is somthing I havnt been evidently in years. Mabye that is why? I dunno. Now I might come in somtime down the road and say guess what I got the what next complex. I dunno.

Thanks for the post........ and remember we are not them we are Kenya, Vickie, Kim, Shannon, Denise, etc................... Take care my friend.

[clancythecamper]

Kenya - I can def identify with the protection thing; it was always, I didn't get the promotion because of my wt, not because I wasn't good enough. I also didn't like getting "unwanted attention" ~ I was safe in my cocoon ~ until it about suffocated me, anyway. Now we have to boldly go in directions where we are out of our comfort zones ~ glad I have you guys to go with me

[inuit48]

I agree with msvicki. Bob's method will work great for some people and that's great. However, havin gone on exercise binge and lost 100 mpounds doing it, I can vouch for the fact that once you stop the gruelling exercise, the weight comes back. And with exercise weight loss, you need to keep upping the exe3rcise to keep losing. After doing the exercis thing for over a year, in the end I was doing exercises 4 hours a day just to maintain the tone and weight loss I had attained. Once I got a new job and no longer had the time to devote to exercising, the weight came back with a vengence.
In recent years I was unable to lose the weight due to type 2 diabetes. Your body does not use the surgar as it is supposed to so you do not burn off fat as you are supposed to. Now I have a lot of health issues so I can not exercise to help lose weight. I will not go back to relying on exercise to lose weight again after my experience the first time around.

It really bothers me when I hear exercise gurus insist that anyone can lose weight and keep it off with enough exercise. People are all different. What works for some will not work for someone else.

As for Oprah, back in the eary eighties. I loved her show. She was an overweight woman struggling with her weight just like most of the population. Her show had really good issues and discussions. I never missed and episode. In recent years though I find she has become an expert on everything from child raising (she has no children) to marriage (she is not married) to weight loss (she gains back every ounce she loses just like everyone else on diets) to happiness. I used to find her a real woman with real issues but now I find she thinks she's so much better than everyone. Too much money and power I guess.

[clancythecamper]

I like Oprah ~ although I'll certainly agree she's pretty out of touch with the real women I know ~ I'll never forget the first time she went to Walmart and went in thru the buggy door, it's not that hard to walk in the main doors, but she thought she was supposed to go in the other one ~ she was amazed how big it was ~ LOL, Imagine not knowing every square inch of your local walmart! Newsweek ran a story on her recently about how she's an expert on everything, not necessarily a glowing article; still, come on, we have to take anything anyone on tv says with a grain of salt, right? She does have the ability to laugh at herself and her "hair do's thru the years". Recently she was talking about cutting back and cutting our budgets ~ that one didn't ring too true to me, let's face it, she's not going without anything ~ heck, her dogs probably eat better than 20% of the population. Anyway, I still like her.

[Kenyar]

i use to be a fan of oprah, back when the subject matter was more down to earth...i dont get why NOW she has suzi orman on alot. aside from oprah herself, the rest of us are feeling the economic situation. it is obnoxious to assume ppl actually have anything to save. i mean...on unemployment i cant exactly diversity my portfolio...LOL! its not like the rest of us have $30,000 to put away for a rainy day.... hell if i had 30k laying around i can think of a whole lotta PS i'd like to have much less investing...COME ON!

i dont mind her,i just dont watch regularly. i just happend to catch this show today and i actually sat and watched this segment. it was pretty interesting.

on a side note i am trying to make some changes in my life at this point. i think this year i may actually participate in my surgeons support group. i think i need to be around other post ops. i think it would be good for the soul. i am also looking into psych and sociology courses; possibly returning to college this fall. not sure but trying. i want to study compulsive behavior/ eating disorders and social aspects of weight in general- how changes in it affect our lives and what not. i find it fascinating. i would love to figure a way to work as an advocate in a wls center or something along those lines...we'll see what i can figure out.

thanks for reading. i have lots on my mind lately. trying to reinvent myself and my career at the same time is...challenging. typing it helps me to sort it out.

[MsVickie]

You can do it as I have always said.

[Kenyar]

i hope so. i keep changing my mind LOL! i dont really know what i want to do... i want a job, i want stability. the unknown kinda sucks...