[fr1endly2]

HI friends...
well comeing here for others views cause i get mixed from different people. BUT i chose to do what i felt best. I know alot of you are familiar with the myspace site. SO i am chooseing to see how as a parent you would have handled what i just had to do.

NOW my child is not 13 years of age. SO for her right now its off limits for her to have her own myspace page. I will decide what i feel
next year for her. BUT many of her friends at school have one. NOW there are some features to block the information and limit who sees your profiles but of course if these settings are not kept tight its open information for the entire internet to view. SO a peer my daughter knows has a myspace page, set up with her first and last name, clearly stating her town and state she lives in. (now to back track our schools have sent home NUMEROUS letters, warning parents that its not safe to allow children to put this personal type information on the site). ANYWAY, my daughter showed me her freinds page and of course it has their CHEERLEADING team photo on her space. MIND you the uniforms have a school name pretty big accross the front. SO i was irrate to this this on her page. THERE WERE NO BLOCKS ON WHO CAN VIEW THE PAGE. I am careful to not allow my underage child to have a page and now some thoughtless peer has one with all the information that i would never want on the net on my kid with a picture!!! MAYBE i am overbaord on my views but i have watched the ONLINE preditor stories on internet, know the internet first hand, and even recently saw a ABC news storey saying how many pedifiles have MYSPACE accounts and can be preying on the children thru this site. SO with all this i wasnt happy. I choose to annonymously email the coach and made her aware of the situation. DO you think i did right? whats your views?
MY daughter knew how i felt and i let her also decide how we should handle this. BUT some say i didnt have the right to say that photo should not be there??? WHAT do you think...hopefully i explained it clear. THE PICTURES are removed last night so i know the coach responed but was I right to be mad her picture was up there that way?
LOVE to hear your views...
thanks
hugzzzzzzzzzz

[fr1endly2]

Well im gonna reply now to myself...after just leaving here to go read my local NEWS 12 news online i stumble on the following storey. I guess it just tells me clear my daughters personal info didnt belong on a peers myspace..... heres what i just read on the news:

11/15/06) LAKE GROVE - A Connecticut man is accused of sexually abusing a 14-year-old girl in the parking lot of Sports Plus in Lake Grove.
Cops say 24-year-old Louis Fappiano met the teen on the Internet and played online games with her for about a year. According to police, he drove to Lake Grove in July to meet her in person and attempted to have sex with her. Police say the girl resisted until Fappiano gave up.
The teen just reported the incident to her parents last month. Fappiano surrendered to police Tuesday, when he was charged with sexual abuse and released. He is scheduled to return to court in two weeks.

[DocSanae]

My input.
Posting your own pic on the internet is your own choice and descretion.
However, this is only about you. If the pic includes others, then, basically, you should ask them whether it's okay with them. This goes for both adults and minors.
When it is all about minors, extra caution is needed, and of course, one should ask not only the minor him/herself, you should go the the parents and ask for permission.
It's all about courtesy and precaution.
Kids should be taught so and be aware, not just adults.

Some may say you overstepped, but if you were not happy with the situation, and it is about your daughter, sure, you're right to go to whoever has the authority.
Better to have someone mad at you than be sorry later for what could have been prevented.

[fr1endly2]

I think if there was less identifying info i would have felt better. ANd if the settings were private. I agree the permission needed to be there first.
THANKS
internet is a hard place!!!

[Pillows]

I can understand your cause for concern on this issue and your feeling the need to be protective. The world seems so much scarier than it used to be and we unfortunately have to do things to protect ourselves and our kids that we wouldn't have imagined a few years ago. I agree with Doc, that there should be consent given when that type of identifying information or image is shared. I don't know that I would want my child to have a MySpace account. I know that my church has discouraged it's members from allowing their teens from having access to it for their own safekeeping. The way I view it is when it comes to unneccesary things like MySpace, it is better safe than sorry.
Janae

[fr1endly2]

thanks JANAE i know i was stressing what to do and if i did the right thing, was i over reacting. so thats why i had to see what the folks here thought.

THE outcome now was the coach got my email. TODAY she mentioned to the team...and i think she did with the utmost professionalism....
that she had gotten 3 emails about team photos on myspace accounts.
AND she told the girls that a photo like that cannot be put up without everyones permission... and guess what girls i dont give persmission for my picture to be on myspace so please delete the picture.

SO i was so pleased with her professionalism in handling this.I now signed on the peer that I was concerned of and the picture is off the page.
SO it all worked out and no one knows that it was me /my child that rated to the coach! thank heavens.

yEs we have new areas to watch out for with out kids.
BUT a good parent will be on top of it all. I also feel a 12 year old
young lady should not have a myspace that says she is 21.
I guess next i have to email TOM over there and get the girls
page shut down. HER photos clearly sho her age.....

go figure!
thanks for the input, i love to hear from all different people. I am glad your church takes a strong view on the site for teens.

[bren]

Lisa, I totally think you did the right thing. I know my 15 (almost 16) year old daughter has a myspace. I check it often to make sure it is private and what is being posted on it. She is fully aware that I check up on her so she knows she has to be careful.

[fr1endly2]

THANKS bren.
I know next year i will have to readdress things
when my daughter is an acceptable
age to have one. BUT for now....
she is not. WHEN she does have one
it will be with privacy settings and me to have
her passwords for monitoring.
WE have to today.
ITS a shame that all parents dont realize
that kids put up to much personal information
on the site that can lead strangers to them.
hugs

[bren]

There's such a huge danager out there that the generations before us never had to worry about! It's too bad that we have to be so protective and for reasons they can not understand,

[Becca]

Lisa, i do think your right on this one.............There are some perves, out there..........And we do have to watch out for our kids................I feel myspace and other boards like that are NOT a good place for young kids........I know they are probily upset right now but in the long run, they will thank you............

I get invites from myspace all the time, and they arent the nicest of people either..(xxx sites, hate sites)........I block them of corse.........But kids will think its cool to have lots of friends...........

A few days ago i put my on friends only....................