[Pillows]

Now Here are the rules from the Men's side:

1. Men are NOT mind readers.
2. Learn to work the toilet seat. You're a big girl. If it is up, put it down. We need it up, you need it down. You don't hear us complain about you leaving it down.
3. Sunday sports. It is like the full moon or the changing of the tides. Let it be.
4. Shopping is not a sport, and no we will never think of it that way.
5. Crying is blackmail.
6. Ask for what you want. Let's be clear: subtle hints don't work, strong hints don't work, obvious hints don't work! Just say it!
7. Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almostevery question.
8. Come to us with a problem ONLY if you want us to help solve it. That's what we do. Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.

[Pillows]

sorry about that but here they are continued......

1. A headache that lasts for 17 months is a PROBLEM... see a doctor about it.
2. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissable in an arguement. In fact, all comments said become null and void within 7 days.
3. If you wont' dress liket the Victoria's Secret's Girls, don't expect us to act like soap opera actors.
4. IF you think you're fat, you probably are. Don't ask us.
5. IF something we said can be interpretted two ways and one way makes you angry or sad... we meant the other way.
6. You can either ask us to do something or tell us how you want it done. Not both. If you already know best how to do it, do it yourself.
7. Whenever possible, please say whatever you have to say during commercials.
8. Christopher Columbus did NOT need directions and neither do we.
9. All men see in only 16 colors like Windows default settings. Peach for example is a fruit, not a color. Pumpkin is also a fruit. We have NO idea what mauve is.
10. IF it itches, it will be scratched. We do that.
11. If we ask what's wrong and you say "nothing", we will act like nothing's wrong. We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle.
12. If you ask a question you don't want the answer to, expect an answer you don't want to hear.
13. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine, really.
14. Don't ask us what we are thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss such topics as sex, cars, the shotgun formation, or basketball.
15. You have enough clothes.
16. you have too many shoes.
17. I am in shape, round is a shape.
18. Thank you for reading this, yes I know I am sleeping on the couch tonight, but you know what? Men don't really mind that... it is like camping.

I hope you all enjoyed these. It is funny how many are right on the mark though and how many I have caught myself not abiding by.
Janae

[bren]

too funny.. and so true

[DocSanae]

Don't I know it

[Robbin]

You hit that nail on the head...yes in dee-dee!!!
Funny...

robbin

[Pillows]

I have to admit that the one about Victoria Secret's Girls and male soap stars was pretty funny and made perfect sense to me....Boy I can't wait to get ahold of some Victoria Secret's lingere now if that is the promise attached....hehehehe....
Janae

[DocSanae]

Originally Posted by Pillows

We have NO idea what mauve is.

Gosh, I had to laugh at this one.
I read in a book not too far back, where in one scene, a couple of girls try to figure out if this good looking guy is gay or not by asking him if he knew what mauve was.

[Pillows]

That is a great test for sure Doc. Why didn't I think of that. My hubby and I went to IKEA, but he didn't like it because it was too "GAY" for him. I think it was just because one of the other male customers there was a little too gay for my husband's comfort level. But I still love the store and would love to go and play there some more without him.
Janae

[freebird]

Awesomely funny...and aren't some of those so true. Both Roo and i got a kick out of them.
By the way, i know Roo isn't gay and i didn't have to ask him if he knew what mauve was, i didn't have to ask him anything at all......(Tehee).

[freebird]

(Sorry, just had to put these here)

MEN AND WOMEN COMPARED NICKNAMES: If Laura, Suzanne, Debra and Rose go out for lunch, they will call each other Laura Suzanne, Debra and Rose. If Mike, Charlie, Bob and John go out, they will affectionately refer to each other as Fat Boy, Godzilla, Peanut-Head and Scrappy.
EATING OUT: When the bill arrives, Mike, Charlie, Bob and John will each throw in $20.00, even though it's only for $32.50. None of them will have anything smaller, and none will actually admit they want change back. When the girls get their bill, out come the pocket calculators.
MONEY: A man will pay $2 for a $1 item he wants. A woman will pay $1 for a $2 item that she doesn't want.
BATHROOMS: A man has six items in his bathroom: a toothbrush, comb, shaving cream, razor, a bar of soap and a towel from the Holiday Inn. The average number of items in the typica woman's bathroom is 337. A man would not be able to identify most of these items.
ARGUMENTS: A woman has the last word in any argument. Anything a man says after that is the begining of a new argument