[ChuppyGirl]

Well I don't know how to start this but I need to vent and God knows that the RR is my second family... Folks I'm sorry to disappoint many of you but

I have signed the papers of the withdrawal from Leeds University and I will be heading back home mid of January..

Things went very complicated family wise and I had to set a closure for the endless family torture and sacrifices. My kids have paid more that what anybody can imagine so do my poor husband. All of this has affected the level of my grades with addition to the program difficulty so.. I have decided to end this misery and flip this page of my life and move on

You have no idea how bitter I feel right now...I barely pulled myself from the bed this morning I was literally there for 3 days. There is a big heavy deep scream in my chest that cannot get out and I cannot let it out I feel it's all my mistake I have dragged my whole family into this
I have been through a tough battle with myself for the last 4 weeks whether I should continue the studies without the family or ship them back home or.. or... until I snapped when I saw my husband helpless when he heard that his job has replaced him with another guy he was so cold but bitter that made me feel so awful. since I started this program I couldn't even pay attention to my kids, who really breaks my heart is Dana everytime I get to the house she pulled me from my clothes and stand up holding my knees and cry she needs her mommy but can't even look into her face either should go to classes or to the library...

I had so many hopes with this degree, I was dreaming of the day I graduate and return home. I even pictured how my family waits for my arrival in the airport and throw the flower petals on my head and can't describe their happiness.

I don't know what I will tell everyone at work, there were so many envious coworkers who hated me because I won the scholarship and they didn't

oh God this very tough I feel awful :~(

Hanadi

[bren]

Hanadi, I'm so sorry. Its a tough choice that you made and I know it must have been a huge burden to feel the way your feeling. Sometimes things happen for a reason. You never know you might get the chance again in the future to go back to school, maybe when the children are older and not so dependant on you.
I'll be thinking of you and I'm sorry I don't know what to say to you at this difficult time other than we are all here for you!!!

[Kat]

Oh I'm so sorry to hear of such a disappointing turn of events. You worked so hard to get to Leeds.
You are doing what you need to do for yourself and your family though, so don't be too hard on yourself, even though you are feeling such frustration. Some other way will present itself for you to get where you need to be. Even though it is very tough right now, keep the faith. God's guiding hand will see that you are where you need to be. You won't regret being there for your family now. What could be more important then those who you love and love you?
Thinking of you and miss you.

[DocSanae]

Hanadi, ((((((((((HUGS))))))))))
You are very courageous in making this tough decision.
You are very wise in considering how your family, your husband and your children need you, and making the decision that will keep all of you together.
This time spent in Leeds will not be a waste of time, I am sure. You have experienced what is truely required, so when the next chance comes (and trust in Allah, it will) you will be forearmed with knowledge of what is needed.
One day, everything will click together, and open a new door you never expected to open, or never knew was there.
Keep your head high, be proud that you were able to make the choice that is best for your family, and not make a choice out of pride that could have hurt you yourself, as well as your family.
((((((((HUGS)))))))

[LittleLisaMarie]

Hi there. I am so sorry you are feeling so horrible right now. I want to say as one mother and wife to another this is never easy. We as mothers need to make decisions like this all the time. You know in your heart what is right for you and your family. We make sacrifices that pay off big later in life. Our children grow so fast and if we blink our eyes to long its over. You have worked hard and you should feel very proud of yourself. But as you know the most important thing in our lives is our children. Dont feel down feel proud that you are strong enough to realize what is right for you. Hold your head high and hug that family. Education and work will always be there but our little ones will not stay little forever. LittleLisaMarie

[fr1endly2]

(((((((TIGHTEST FRIENDLY HUGS))))))))

I am awfully sorry your enduring all this stuff.
I can only imagine all the termoil your battling inside
of you.

FOLLOW your heart and im sure it will lead you to do whats best
for you. HANG in their and im sure there will be other opportunities
at other times in your life when its better.

HANG in there! I am sorry, and wish i could take all this stress
off your shoulders!

((((((((HUG)))))))))))))))
lisa

[ChuppyGirl]

Thank you all..
These days are the heaviest on my chest. It didn't feel bad the day I did the withdrawal paper works, but now it sinks in and hurts so much.

It's a holiday here until January the 2nd, I need to pack everything in the mean while and ship them when the life resumes here. it's probably that I'll be back home around mid of Jan.

Thanks again for all your nice and supportive words they really mean to my heart.

Love,
Hanadi

[fr1endly2]

(((MORE HUGS))))
I know this was a difficult descision on you to make
BUT if this was hard on the kids and husband I know as
painful as it feels right now your makeing the right decision.
I am sorry for all this your going thru.
I am sure its been very difficult time on you.
I know post op and about were you are "DEPRESSION"
does kick in. SO undergoing studies, being in a new country
everytyhing has to be even harder on you then what i
went thru my first years. THE blues are hard.....i never
experiecned them before.

I know your a GREAT mom, and putting your family first
at this time has got to be a hard decision but im sure its best.
JUST put this all as a learning experience and put it behind you.
YOU will get back home and fall into wonderful happy routines
and the pain will ease from all this your carrying around right now.

ALL the best
hugs and more kisses

[Becca]

Hey, girl.........you are a wonderfull person, and a great mother, and a great wife........Maybe someday, you can go back when they grow up.........

I'm so sorry, for what your going through......Please dont be bitter at the family, they love you so much and they tried to do this with you......

Can you give your scolarship to someone else, or can you keep it for a later time to use?

Be safe on your travels back.......I'm sorry.......

[Pillows]

Oh Hanadi, I am so sorry to hear you have to go through this trial, I know how badly you worked to get there and how badly you wanted it. I am sure that if this is the course you feel you must take that there is some higher plan in the works for you and your family and you won't go unrewarded for your sacrifice. I wish I could just give you a hug and let you cry on my shoulder. If you need anything or to vent, you can always feel free to im me or write me directly. Love you so much sweet sister.
Janae