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01-01-2010, 01:39 AM
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#1 (permalink)
| | Guru In Training
Join Date: Jan 2009 Location: Texas
Posts: 324
Weight Statistics January 13, 2009 Surgery Date:
5' 4"
Height:
266 lb Start Weight:
162 lb Current Weight:
155 lb Goal Weight:
104 lb Weight Loss:
7 lb Lb Left to Lose:
39.0977443609 % % Lost:
2010 Goal Date:
Body Mass Index45.6538085938 BMI Start:
27.8041992188 BMI Current:
26.6027832031 BMI Goal:
Weight Loss MethodRoux en Y Gastric Bypass
 |  Losing weight and losing friends
Did you lose any friends when you lost weight? I'm wondering because I recently had a "friend" tell me that I've changed. I'm not the same girl she knew before I lost weight. She doesn't want to be friends with me anymore. (All sounds so high school doesn't it?)
I don't feel that I am different other than I have more confidence in myself than I've ever had.
Just curious.
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01-01-2010, 07:01 AM
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#2 (permalink)
| | Seasoned Veteran
Join Date: Jul 2009 Location: North
Posts: 2,180
Weight Statistics August 20, 2009 Surgery Date:
5' "
Height:
210 lb Start Weight:
102 lb Current Weight:
110 lb Goal Weight:
108 lb Weight Loss:
-8 lb Lb Left to Lose:
51.4285714286 % % Lost:
August 2010 Goal Date:
Body Mass Index41.0083333333 BMI Start:
19.9183333333 BMI Current:
21.4805555556 BMI Goal:
Weight Loss MethodRoux en Y Gastric Bypass
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Sorry your "friend" chose to disengage from you. Perhaps she's got a case of envy? Perhaps she's afraid her friendship won't be enough for you now? Whatever the case a true friend would not dump you because of perceived changes. A true friend would sit down with you have talk her feelings out.
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01-01-2010, 08:25 AM
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#3 (permalink)
| | Super Moderator
Join Date: Nov 2005 Location: Tokyo, Japan
Posts: 24,781
5' 5"
Height:
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01-01-2010, 09:34 AM
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#4 (permalink)
| | WLS Master Guru
Join Date: Apr 2009 Location: Big Sky Country~Montana
Posts: 873
Weight Statistics Sept 2008 Start Date:
Oct 13, 2008 Surgery Date:
5' 7"
Height:
450 lb Start Weight:
306 lb Current Weight:
180 lb Goal Weight:
144 lb Weight Loss:
126 lb Lb Left to Lose:
32 % % Lost:
in late 2010 Goal Date:
Body Mass Index70.472265538 BMI Start:
47.9211405658 BMI Current:
28.1889062152 BMI Goal:
Weight Loss MethodRoux en Y Gastric Bypass
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I haven't yet but I could see where new confidence could be a threat to some.
Hang in there, hopefully if this was a real good friendship you will both be able to mend things and move forward. Its such a big change its bound to affect other areas in a person's life.
__________________ RC  Make a difference!
Attitudes are contagious... is yours worth catching?
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01-01-2010, 10:00 AM
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#5 (permalink)
| | Whipper Snapper
Join Date: Aug 2008 Location: North Platte, Nebraska
Posts: 35
Weight Statistics 08/31/08 Start Date:
May 19, 2009 Surgery Date:
5' 3"
Height:
247 lb Start Weight:
143 lb Current Weight:
149 lb Goal Weight:
104 lb Weight Loss:
-6 lb Lb Left to Lose:
42.1052631579 % % Lost:
Nov 19, 09 (6 month mark) Goal Date:
Body Mass Index43.7493071303 BMI Start:
25.3285462333 BMI Current:
26.3912824389 BMI Goal:
Weight Loss MethodRoux en Y Gastric Bypass
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Oh yes. I'm going through the same thing right now. I had a coworker that I had become close friends with over the past 8 years. She & I had ALWAYS dieted together. I can't even tell you how many diets we tried.. everything imaginable! I don't work with her anymore, in fact haven't since my surgery in May. Right after my surgery, she would call and check on me, but as soon as she saw the weight coming off she quit talking about the weight loss completely. Everyone else I see at my old job compliments me, but not her, she will barely speak to me in person. It is very upsetting that we were friends for so long and now she seems to 'avoid' me. The only thing that has changed about me is the weight loss. Its very upsetting to me, I guess during this process you find out who your true friends are.
__________________ 23 lbs lost before surgery.  | |
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01-01-2010, 10:49 AM
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#6 (permalink)
| | Guru In Training
Join Date: Oct 2008 Location: Back in my home state.
Posts: 327
Weight Statistics September 26, 2008 Start Date:
November 19, 2008 Surgery Date:
5' 3"
Height:
356 lb Start Weight:
250 lb Current Weight:
140 lb Goal Weight:
106 lb Weight Loss:
110 lb Lb Left to Lose:
29.7752808989 % % Lost:
October 31, 2011 Goal Date:
Body Mass Index63.0556815319 BMI Start:
44.2806752331 BMI Current:
24.7971781305 BMI Goal:
Weight Loss MethodRoux en Y Gastric Bypass
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My family practitioner warned me that some people might change their attitude toward me once the weight came off. I did have issues with a couple of co workers, but for the most part friends and family have all be very supportive.
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01-01-2010, 11:25 AM
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#7 (permalink)
| | WLS Master Guru
Join Date: May 2009 Location: Salida, CA
Posts: 678
Weight Statistics First Consult 10/21/08 Start Date:
11/20/08 Surgery Date:
5' 7"
Height:
276 lb Start Weight:
121 lb Current Weight:
150 lb Goal Weight:
155 lb Weight Loss:
-29 lb Lb Left to Lose:
56.1594202899 % % Lost:
goal 8/09 Goal Date:
Body Mass Index43.22298953 BMI Start:
18.949209178 BMI Current:
23.4907551793 BMI Goal:
Weight Loss MethodRoux en Y Gastric Bypass
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Hi, and yes it does happen haven't had that happen myself but I have heard that from others, just keep doing what you are doing, if they are truly your friend they'll come around if not they weren't your friend.
Hang in there.
Judy
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01-01-2010, 06:11 PM
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#8 (permalink)
| | Seasoned Veteran
Join Date: May 2008 Location: Just north of Iowa, not far from I-35. 2nd star on the right and straight on 'til morning!
Posts: 8,636
Weight Statistics December 13, 2007 (pre-op liquid diet started) Start Date:
December 27, 2007 Surgery Date:
5' 9"
Height:
280 lb Start Weight:
172 lb Current Weight:
184 lb Goal Weight:
108 lb Weight Loss:
-12 lb Lb Left to Lose:
38.5714285714 % % Lost:
Originally - 12/08. Actually - 8/08. Goal Date:
Body Mass Index41.3442554085 BMI Start:
25.3971854652 BMI Current:
27.1690821256 BMI Goal:
Weight Loss MethodRoux en Y Gastric Bypass
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My guess is that this person is overweight, but not as much so as you were. She was probably using you as camouflage. By comparison to you, she felt smaller. You have forced her to see that success is possible and now she has no excuses. And she is also now the larger of the two of you. And that hurts!!
I agree - friends don't let it change anything, but opportunists, like old dieting buddies, can't enjoy your success without reference to their own failure. Bummer, but what can you do? Reverse the surgery to make them feel better? 
Hold your course. You are doing this for you. That others may benefit by having you around longer ... is still about you. You've made great progress!! (Bet you feel better, too!!) 
CT
__________________ da perfesser
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Dare to live your dream!!
If you want to be healthy for life, do for life the things that get you healthy!! Living healthy takes work. Dying fat is easy!! "That which we persist in doing becomes easier, not that the nature of the task has changed, but that our capacity to do has increased." - HJ Grant
"Do, or do not. There is no try!" - Yoda
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01-02-2010, 03:38 PM
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#9 (permalink)
| | Seasoned Veteran
Join Date: Mar 2007 Location: Floyd County Virginia
Posts: 9,445
Weight Statistics September 19th 2007 Start Date:
September 19th 2007 June 18,2012 Surgery Date:
5' 10"
Height:
363 lb Start Weight:
226 lb Current Weight:
170 lb Goal Weight:
137 lb Weight Loss:
56 lb Lb Left to Lose:
37.741046832 % % Lost:
When I get there again Goal Date:
Body Mass Index52.0793877551 BMI Start:
32.4240816327 BMI Current:
24.3897959184 BMI Goal:
Weight Loss MethodRoux en Y Gastric Bypass
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Have you ever been friends with somone only to realize they are friends with you because you will acutally make them look better? Think about that one ok.
To me in reality if they are like that they arent your friend to begin with. Its a personal problem they have with themselfs.
I do think we change some but its a more outgoing thing and less reserved thing than before. Your the same person but you let a little more of the real you show. Your not making her look better now and its disturbing her.
She will get over it ......... or she wont. Its her choice. Remember that.
__________________ Remember Tough times never last Tough people do... This Ribbon is for our Lady Lisa and all the women that fight this ugly disease. RIP Jerry my friend
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01-02-2010, 05:27 PM
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#10 (permalink)
| | Whipper Snapper
Join Date: Aug 2009 Location: Connecticut
Posts: 25
Weight Statistics 08/03/2009 Start Date:
08/11/2009 Surgery Date:
5' 8"
Height:
277 lb Start Weight:
154 lb Current Weight:
170 lb Goal Weight:
123 lb Weight Loss:
-16 lb Lb Left to Lose:
44.40433213 % % Lost:
06/01/2010 Goal Date:
Body Mass Index42.1131055363 BMI Start:
23.4130622837 BMI Current:
25.8455882353 BMI Goal:
Weight Loss MethodRoux en Y Gastric Bypass
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Yes. It's sad but it happens. I can now tell the difference between my friends and my "friends". It may be envy, who knows. But one thing that I have figured out is that life is way too short to keep the flighty "friends" around.
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