[LittleLisaMarie]

Learning to Love Yourself, Part I
The foundation of all healthy relationships is self-love By Kirsten Harrell, Psy.D.

Valentine’s Day should be a reminder of the importance of love and relationships in our lives. The foundation of all healthy relationships is a deep and fulfilling relationship with Self. So, this February, assess the state of the relationship you have with yourself. If you want to have more deep and fulfilling relationships with friends and family, you’ll need to focus first on yourself. When you are deeply connected with yourself, you will be more available to create emotionally intimate relationships.
You may want to begin exploring your relationship with Self by exploring your basic likes and dislikes. Just as you would with a new friend, ask yourself some questions in order to get to know yourself better. What is your favorite color? What do you like to eat? What do you like to do with your free time? Do you like to be alone? Or do crowds energize you? Then go a little deeper and ask yourself some questions about the types of relationships you want to create. What type of people do you like to spend your time with? How do you want to be treated by your friends? Your family? Your partner? What are the qualities of the person you want to spend your life with?
Some of you might find this exercise easy, while others will struggle with it. If you find it difficult to answer these questions, it is possible that you have lost yourself in others and in the daily grind. In your efforts to please those around you, you may have deferred your own needs and desires so much that you are no longer connected with them. Even if you find this difficult, keep trying because this is a crucial step in building and strengthening your relationship with Self. Getting clear about who you are at this level will also help you communicate your needs and desires to others.
Once you are more familiar and acquainted with these basics, it’s time to go even deeper and make that connection with your core Self—your essential spirit—the transcendent part of you that possesses deep wisdom and infinite intelligence. Your essential spirit is a spark of all that is good and beautiful in this Universe. Strengthening this connection with your essential spirit helps you unlock your full potential and live a balanced life that is full of meaning and purpose. Making this connection also helps you develop that unconditional self-love. Learning to love yourself in this way will allow you to attract healthy relationships and receive the love you deserve.

LittleLisaMarie

[LittleLisaMarie]

Learning to Love Yourself, Part II
The foundation of all healthy relationships is self-love
By Kirsten Harrell, Psy.D.



Mindfulness (present moment focus) is a good place to start as you begin the journey inside to connect with your essential spirit. Practicing mindfulness means staying in the “here and now” rather than mulling over the past or worrying about the future. You may want to start by practicing mindful walking. Keep your attention in the present moment and on the experience of walking. When your mind wanders, bring it back to the present moment—simply, gently, and without judgment. Mindfulness leads to increased self-awareness, which is a necessary step in deepening the relationship with Self.
In addition to mindfulness, there are many other ways to quiet the mind and relax the body so that you can connect with your essential spirit. You might find some of the more structured activities to be helpful in this process, such as: guided imagery, hypnosis, prayer, yoga, tai chi, and qi gong. You might also try deep breathing, a walk in nature, listening to music that moves you, dancing, singing, taking a bath, or playing with a pet. The key is to relax, release tension, banish doubt, get out of your own way, and allow the connection. Once you find a way that works for you, it is important make this connection with your essential spirit daily.
Another way to strengthen this relationship with yourself is to use affirmations to increase your positive thoughts and self-talk. Some affirmations you can use are: I love and accept myself, I deserve to love and be loved, I am happy with who I am, and I open my heart and let love in. These new positive thought patterns create and strengthen neural pathways in your brain‑—like rewiring your brain for the experience of love.
By making the effort to develop the relationship with yourself you are changing who you are at both the cellular and neural levels. As the feelings of love flow through you, your body will respond with a flood of hormones and neuropeptides associated with the emotion of love. You are creating a new you… one that is more open to the experience of love and able to sustain the emotional intimacy that is required to create strong and healthy relationships with others.


LittleLisaMarie

[DocSanae]

Good article, LisaMarie.

[Kat]

I copied 'em!
Thanks, LM.

[LittleLisaMarie]

THanks. I thought they were very good articles.