[gail1011]

So I woke up this morning feeling much more in control --yesterday i was able to work through the "head stuff" and had a good day (food wise).

When I have those kind of days I remember how I get back into old patterns. The thinking is "whatever", "I just don't want to fight", "maybe I need my fat to feels safe", "I want relief", "I want to numb out". I can point to stress and say that is why I am feeling this way but I know the reality is everyday will have stress, the name of the stressor changes but life keeps happening.

Why do you think we choose to self-destruct?

[ANSLEY]

I think as over-eaters/food addicts we have a void we are trying to fill. I myself should have gone to and stayed in counceling after surgery. i thought losing a ton of weight would fix all my problems. I created new ones. Hang in there and dont be afraid to talk to someone...a minister, councelor, Dr...whatever you like. OH! and of course read on here

[LittleLisaMarie]

We are all here because we have an addiction...A food addiction. We use it for all different reasons, as a companion, as a comfort, when were bored when were sad and many other reasons. The reason it is so much harder for us is unlike a drug addict or an alcoholic who can just totally avoid their addiction, WE HAVE TO EAT TO LIVE....so there is food in our face 24/7...it makes it that much harder to control. One day at a time, we will have good days and not so good days...its ok...as long as we are aware of the not so good days and learn from them. We are going to mess up every now and then...and you know what ..its ok..we need to forgive ourselves and move forward. I just try to keep telling myself as i try to get back on track...NOTHING TASTES AS GOOD AS BEING THIN FEELS...

[Lovie]

When I trip (like I did last night) I remember that there are so many other people out there to sabotage me, I don't have to do it. I am the best friend I have and I should utilize that idea more.

[MsVickie]

If you mean before surgery to which I think you do.... for me personally it was because it was the easy way out of things. It was normal for me to do that without any one knowing what I did. Sure it showed up on my body but no one knew what I did when I did it. And the thing was...... I wasnt a lazy person. I was always told that...... I would here you know your not lazy Vicke...... I dont see how come you so large I just dont understand. I suppose they thought lazy went with overweight. I always worked hard. I didnt lay around. I do that more now than I ever did before surgery. I dunno.....

[laughingpainter]

fear of failure or success. I guess they both go hand in hand. I know for me, I've failed with "diet" so many times, I just go back there with out really thinking about it. Oh jeez, one more lost, until the pouch starts sayin' hey, hey, I'm full, you're gonna have some pain if you keep eating all that. That helps me. To night I was cutting up the ham for dinner and I had couple pieces while I did it. and then put more pieces on a plate for me and my daughter, with cheese, for Dinner. I know that I ate more than I should have, especially after last night, but my pouch let me know that I needed to stop.
I am very thankful for that feeling. This is the reason that I wanted to have the RnY, for the extra help in cutting down on the eating. Finally getting over that hump of "will power".

[kiwi-leelee77]

well...I self destruct for a few reasons.
1. To feel safe. What happened wont happen if i was fat again...
2. Fear of success....
3. Fear of failure...
4. The age old story of comfort.
5. Isolation.. not engage in social situations on a more personal level.

I will add to this next time im online,I am so tired at the mo I can barly see to type!!!

Great thread btw

Peace, Love and mungbeans...lol