[Kat]

I have have always read and keep reading about the emotional rollercoaster that people who have had WLS experience. Many times I've wondered exactly what people meant by that. It finally hit me that it is happening to me too. It's difficult to put a finger on any one thing but it's everything.
The first few months after surgery were interesting and full of surprises. Only a few unpleasant glitches happen in the beginnig if one is lucky. Next the loss of weight becomes evident and it gets exciting. It works!!! People are starting to notice and the sun is out nearly all of the time. One feels better and I was euphoric much of the time. My clothes are getting baggy and I buy new ones. Next my new clothes are baggy and I no longer feel as excited to buy new ones. I get annoyed that nothing fits and I have to have to spend money that I don't realy have if I want something that fits. I don't even know what size I take anymore.
These were some of my thoughts today between 11AM and 3PM....What if I don't stop loosing and I disappear? Bones are appearing in new places. My shoulders can't be mine. What happened to the muscle that I thought had to be underneath all that fat? Oh my God I'm a saggy mess. Why do I still have to work so hard? Where is that magic pumpkin that is supposed to take me to the magical world of Cinderella? Why isn't everything in my life that was wrong before fall into place now?
I go shopping for some household things. Decide to stop at a clothing store. I still need a coat for Spring.
I find a cool one 25% off in the color & style I want. It's a 1x...(18-20) it will never fit. (last year this time I was a 32) What the heck. Life sucks so who cares, I'm trying it on anyhow. HOLY COW!!! It fit! I look great!!! I can't believe that is my body in that coat. LIFE IS GREAT. I buy the coat & wear it as I leave the store while whistling.
This is one small example of crazy swings in my moods. I have so many thoughts and new possibilities running through my brain.
I am truly grateful, in awe and just overwhelmed by the positive turn in my life. I'm not used to being happy. I have so much to learn.

[DocSanae]

First off, congratulations on your WOW moment, for, yes, your Spring coat is a WOW.
You have a whole new world that's opened up in front of you, so of course you are going to have all sorts of emotions churning inside you. Who wouldn't. Your excitement and fears are natural emotions for you to experience. You must realise, you have lost the insulation of armor you had before, so you will have to adjust to quite a lot about life and its ups and downs. Maybe find an entirely new balance, and entirely new way to deal with them. However, as BamaGal said in another thread, it's better to be able to deal with them with a healthy body,
Some of the truth in this other thread is going to hit you from time to time, too.

You may be on a roller coaster ride of your life, but it certainly is a ride for a better life.

May your journey go well, (((((((HUGS)))))))

[ChuppyGirl]

OMG Kat you made my hairs chill!

You have described the emotional roller coaster in such a beautiful way!! I think there will be many good writters like yourself, Deborah and our dearest friend Janea! you girls have magical words!!

I can totally relate to all what you've been thinking and feeling. In fact I had the same fear about skin, clothes, and not used to be a happy person! I feel sometimes that I don't deserve it! I had self esteem issues for many long years and to turn life up side down in a very short amonut of time is so scary to me!
yesterday hubby and I were in the middle of an elevator and I was looking at my reflection in the mirrror and was thinking loudly; is this truly me?????? and my husband said back yesss it's you!

ehhhh. I feel you kat I feel you so bad. all I can say is that we need a therapy! you guys are so lucky you have specialists for everything! emotional eater shrinks and all kind of therapists. Here we don't have that facility! all I can do is talk to you gals, my small family and pray!
But all these old wounds need to be treated and Gosh this will take long time!

Have you ever come to meet a variety of people who are so happy and proud of you, people are so pissed off and envyous of you! people who made romers that oohhh she must have done a plastic surgery when she's in Leeds! people who have mixed feelings for you! darn people are confusing me and I'm starting to lose confidence in all my friends!

This is really scary stage in my life I have so many wonders!

H.

[beckamarie]

Kat what a great way to explain it. I am so happy for your WOW moment what a ride this must be

[bren]

Kat I can totally relate to what your saying. This is probably the most exciting, scary, thrilling, breath taking ride I've ever been on. I've been there with the clothes, being in the store and not even knowing where your supposed to look for the new size you have became is scary not knowing what will look good anymore cause your used to your fat clothes and trying to hide everything. My newest ride is having people come up and say look at how skinny your getting and you still feel fat. I look at them like they are crazy and say "thank you" and then go look in a mirror and try to see what they are seeing. I bought size 8 pants yesterday for work knowing they wouldn't fit when I got home but they did and yet I saw myself as being fat. Its a mind game I know but its a rollarcoaster of emotions that I guess I was't expecting either. I thought I was totally prepared after all I spent years doing research and preparing myself. But I don't think you can be totally prepared till your actually going thru it for yourself.
I guess all I can say at this point is I can't wait to see what the next hill brings

[fr1endly2]

ALWAYS when i got in a funk
the clothing thing in the new
sizes (even if i couldnt afford
to buy) always picked me up !!!
I think its the best way to combat the blues.
THE blues hit me hard thruout the first
year.......but thankfully that always
picked me up!!!!
HOW about pics in your new spring coat????
DONT you just love the bones we never
knew we had?????at first it can be scary
almost like what is this a lump???oh no...
then u realize its just your bones!!!
BE well
keep smileing!

[Kat]

Thanks for lending your ears and thoughts. All of these new neighborhoods in my head and body are a little overwhelming at times.
I will get a picture taken in the new coat. Good idea Friendly.