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01-25-2012, 09:09 PM
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#1 (permalink)
| | Seasoned Veteran
Join Date: Dec 2011 Location: just north of Boston
Posts: 2,397
Weight Statistics 1/31/2012 Surgery Date:
5' 10"
Height:
338 lb Start Weight:
253 lb Current Weight:
175 lb Goal Weight:
85 lb Weight Loss:
78 lb Lb Left to Lose:
25.1479289941 % % Lost:
Body Mass Index48.4926530612 BMI Start:
36.297755102 BMI Current:
25.1071428571 BMI Goal:
Weight Loss MethodRoux en Y Gastric Bypass
|  Took my hubby to my surgeon's info session tonight...
since I started the process he's been talking about possibly going through the process himself.
He was quite agitated at the end of the session - he told me he really doesn't think it's for him, because he doesn't think he can be disciplined enough. He said of the 3 talked about, the sleeve gastrectomy would probably be the one that would be right for him. He said dumping syndrome doesn't scare him, because vomiting doesn't bother him at all (this is true - bizarre, but true)... he knows he has a very addictive personality and often has issues with impulse control and uncontrolled snacking....
so, will he move forward, don't know... BUT at least he's realistic about the level of discipline needed for this (so I'm REALLY glad he went tonight)
The bad thing is that because of his high level of agitation, we didn't stay for the support group meeting - which I was looking forward to! (but we went together, so there was only one car)
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01-26-2012, 12:26 AM
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#2 (permalink)
| | Seasoned Veteran
Join Date: May 2008 Location: Just north of Iowa, not far from I-35. 2nd star on the right and straight on 'til morning!
Posts: 8,636
Weight Statistics December 13, 2007 (pre-op liquid diet started) Start Date:
December 27, 2007 Surgery Date:
5' 9"
Height:
280 lb Start Weight:
172 lb Current Weight:
184 lb Goal Weight:
108 lb Weight Loss:
-12 lb Lb Left to Lose:
38.5714285714 % % Lost:
Originally - 12/08. Actually - 8/08. Goal Date:
Body Mass Index41.3442554085 BMI Start:
25.3971854652 BMI Current:
27.1690821256 BMI Goal:
Weight Loss MethodRoux en Y Gastric Bypass
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Deep in her heart of hearts, Peanut just knew that I lacked the self-control and discipline to make any kind of good things come out of this crazy idea about WLS. We'd only been married then for about 33 years, so she figured she had a pretty good idea of what I could and couldn't manage.
When I was seven months post-op, she started the approval process for her own RNY. She had seen how well I handled the ordeal. She had watched me closely, looking for weakness. She finally decided that if I could do it, she could too. What sealed the deal in her mind was when she saw that she could still have some form of chocolate! (Yes, sad but true, she says she wouldn't have done it if it had meant giving that up!  )
Don't take his present attitude as binding. Take the fact that he went with you as a crack in his resistance. Through your example, that crack can split wider and wider until he comes face to face with the reality of his current situation regarding health and quality of life. Once he sees you running around living life to the fullest (and running circles around his sagging butt), he may "refine" his position. It'll be ever so much easier for him at that time if he hasn't been pressured into a corner.
You don't know where it's going to take him (or you either, for that matter!) but all you can do is show him how much fun you're having and he'll want to come along. This is a major life change, and his mind may not be geared yet to that kind of disturbance in the status quo.
Hang in there! 
CT
__________________ da perfesser
*******************
Dare to live your dream!!
If you want to be healthy for life, do for life the things that get you healthy!! Living healthy takes work. Dying fat is easy!! "That which we persist in doing becomes easier, not that the nature of the task has changed, but that our capacity to do has increased." - HJ Grant
"Do, or do not. There is no try!" - Yoda
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01-26-2012, 05:54 AM
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#3 (permalink)
| | Seasoned Veteran
Join Date: Dec 2011 Location: just north of Boston
Posts: 2,397
Weight Statistics 1/31/2012 Surgery Date:
5' 10"
Height:
338 lb Start Weight:
253 lb Current Weight:
175 lb Goal Weight:
85 lb Weight Loss:
78 lb Lb Left to Lose:
25.1479289941 % % Lost:
Body Mass Index48.4926530612 BMI Start:
36.297755102 BMI Current:
25.1071428571 BMI Goal:
Weight Loss MethodRoux en Y Gastric Bypass
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Perfesser  Don't take his present attitude as binding. Take the fact that he went with you as a crack in his resistance. | I won't pressure him either way - this has to be his decision either way. I'll support him, but no pressure. WLS isn't for everyone, that I know. And I know he has to be in the right mindset to do it - just like I had to be in the right mindset.
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01-26-2012, 08:37 AM
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#4 (permalink)
| | Seasoned Veteran
Join Date: Aug 2011 Location: Lake Oswego, OR
Posts: 1,626
Weight Statistics June 2011 Start Date:
9-20-2011 Surgery Date:
5' 3"
Height:
272 lb Start Weight:
187 lb Current Weight:
145 lb Goal Weight:
85 lb Weight Loss:
42 lb Lb Left to Lose:
31.25 % % Lost:
9-2012 Goal Date:
Body Mass Index48.1773746536 BMI Start:
33.1219450743 BMI Current:
25.6827916352 BMI Goal:
Weight Loss MethodRoux en Y Gastric Bypass
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Everyone comes to this decision (or not) in his/her own time. I know that I wasn't ready for it in 2010, but became ready later. You are right not to pressure him. It wouldn't work, anyway. Good luck!
__________________
Carol Jo B. | |
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01-26-2012, 08:44 AM
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#5 (permalink)
| | Seasoned Veteran
Join Date: May 2008 Location: Just north of Iowa, not far from I-35. 2nd star on the right and straight on 'til morning!
Posts: 8,636
Weight Statistics December 13, 2007 (pre-op liquid diet started) Start Date:
December 27, 2007 Surgery Date:
5' 9"
Height:
280 lb Start Weight:
172 lb Current Weight:
184 lb Goal Weight:
108 lb Weight Loss:
-12 lb Lb Left to Lose:
38.5714285714 % % Lost:
Originally - 12/08. Actually - 8/08. Goal Date:
Body Mass Index41.3442554085 BMI Start:
25.3971854652 BMI Current:
27.1690821256 BMI Goal:
Weight Loss MethodRoux en Y Gastric Bypass
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What tipped it for Peanut was the day I gave her a reality check. I was near the bottom of my weight loss. I stood her in front of the mirror in the bedroom, naked, and told her that I didn't care how she did it, but the way she was going about "losing weight" just wasn't working.
I told her she could do Weight Watchers, or the LA weight loss or NutriSystem approaches, or she could even do it my way if she wanted, but she was just kidding herself if she thought she could keep on doing what she was doing and get anywhere with it. It was a quiet moment as she looked at her reflection and for the first time actually saw herself as she was, 7 inches shorter and 90 pounds heavier than me.
I had my 6-month checkup a few weeks later, she came with me and asked the PA a few questions, found out she was a candidate and her pre-existing conditions were no obstacle, and from that day to this she's been on the WLS bandwagon.
I never pressed the issue, but that one serious moment changed her life. I couldn't have forced her to do it, because it's not for everyone and your mind has to lead your body in this. But she still remembers that day. She hated me at the time for slapping her upside the head with the truth, but she thanks me now for loving her enough to do it. (It wasn't easy for me, either, but I had to do it!)
CT
__________________ da perfesser
*******************
Dare to live your dream!!
If you want to be healthy for life, do for life the things that get you healthy!! Living healthy takes work. Dying fat is easy!! "That which we persist in doing becomes easier, not that the nature of the task has changed, but that our capacity to do has increased." - HJ Grant
"Do, or do not. There is no try!" - Yoda
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01-26-2012, 10:26 AM
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#6 (permalink)
| | Seasoned Veteran
Join Date: Apr 2007 Location: Central Virginia
Posts: 2,952
Weight Statistics 4/30/2007 Start Date:
9/5/07 Surgery Date:
5' 4"
Height:
233 lb Start Weight:
127 lb Current Weight:
125 lb Goal Weight:
106 lb Weight Loss:
2 lb Lb Left to Lose:
45.4935622318 % % Lost:
Body Mass Index39.9899902344 BMI Start:
21.7971191406 BMI Current:
21.4538574219 BMI Goal:
Weight Loss MethodRoux en Y Gastric Bypass
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My DH and I had the same sort of awakening moment. He's been "talking" about maybe doing the surgery for over 4 years, He's seen how successful I've been and sort of wanted to do it but just wouldn't take that final step.
One day I asked him to help me move the dining room table a few feet. Just the lifting of the table made him out of breath and I told him that I didn't care how he did it but he HAD to do something. I wanted him around for a long time and it wasn't going to happen if he didn't find a way to lose some of that weight.
He's 2 weeks post sorgery now, he had the sleeve.
__________________
Highest 233, Lowest 122, Current 127
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01-26-2012, 03:58 PM
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#7 (permalink)
| | Seasoned Veteran
Join Date: Oct 2010 Location: S. Jersey
Posts: 2,480
Weight Statistics ?? Most recently Oct. 2010 Start Date:
January 31 2011 Surgery Date:
5' 9"
Height:
342 lb Start Weight:
194 lb Current Weight:
189 lb Goal Weight:
148 lb Weight Loss:
5 lb Lb Left to Lose:
43.2748538012 % % Lost:
no pressure... 1 year? 1-2012 Goal Date:
Body Mass Index50.4990548204 BMI Start:
28.6456626759 BMI Current:
27.9073724008 BMI Goal:
Weight Loss MethodRoux en Y Gastric Bypass
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Next time, take him to support group. I love support group. We have a few couples coming now-several are both having surgery. The others, only one has surgery and the other is the "angel" (the support person.)
__________________
Pretty Woman   | |
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01-26-2012, 05:24 PM
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#8 (permalink)
| | WLS Master Guru
Join Date: Oct 2011 Location: Atlantic beach, FL.
Posts: 742
Weight Statistics Sept. 22, 2011 Start Date:
04/30/12 Surgery Date:
5' 6"
Height:
340 lb Start Weight:
267 lb Current Weight:
165 lb Goal Weight:
73 lb Weight Loss:
102 lb Lb Left to Lose:
21.4705882353 % % Lost:
01/2013 Goal Date:
Body Mass Index54.8714416896 BMI Start:
43.0902203857 BMI Current:
26.6287878788 BMI Goal:
Weight Loss MethodRoux en Y Gastric Bypass
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He may not be into it now or think WLS isn't for him, but once he begins to see the healthy change in you I'm sure he'll want to make a change and decide to get healthy too. Don't pressure him like you said, just be the example. Good luck. 
__________________  | 
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01-26-2012, 08:01 PM
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#9 (permalink)
| | Seasoned Veteran
Join Date: Dec 2011 Location: just north of Boston
Posts: 2,397
Weight Statistics 1/31/2012 Surgery Date:
5' 10"
Height:
338 lb Start Weight:
253 lb Current Weight:
175 lb Goal Weight:
85 lb Weight Loss:
78 lb Lb Left to Lose:
25.1479289941 % % Lost:
Body Mass Index48.4926530612 BMI Start:
36.297755102 BMI Current:
25.1071428571 BMI Goal:
Weight Loss MethodRoux en Y Gastric Bypass
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Quote:
Originally Posted by pretty woman Next time, take him to support group. I love support group. We have a few couples coming now-several are both having surgery. The others, only one has surgery and the other is the "angel" (the support person.) | I wanted him to stay for the support group... I asked him before if he wanted to go just to the support group - he said he really wanted to go to the information session. He admitted to me this afternoon that he SHOULD have stayed for the support group last night.
He actually called his therapist this morning and was able to get an appt with her - I'm impressed that he stepped up and took that step rather than 'stewing' about his agitation (which is more typical of him)
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