[DocSanae]

Kenyar has hit the most important nail.

Now, physiologically speaking--that is, speaking from the body function side, research has begun to reveal the the brain receptors that stimulate pleasure feeling form drugs, alcohol and food are all close to each other. So, 1) there is a definite physical reaction to food that will make you seek, and 2) that there is a physcial basis for the addiction transfer that is sometimes seen.
Research into hunger is also turning up a very complex route of hunger control, where a lot of newly discovered hormones are involved, and conventional dieting can't control these hormones until your eating and your weight has been in good control for a long time--the length your body has carried excess weight has changed the level where these hormones work, so it takes a long time for these to readjust to the level that it needs to be to let you control your eating, and stay at a good weight. The surgery in itself seems to reset some (not all) of these hormones so it is easier for you to regain control and lose weight. Of course, along with this, you will have to "rediscover" yourself, and rearrange your priorities, or you will revert back to your old way of controlling your life, in which food had a big part--you need to change it to "eat to live" from "live to eat".
Yo-yo dieting doesn't help here, either, it in itself seems sets the physiological state so that it makes it harder for you to control things, despite your wish and your efforts and your mind understanding that you don't need the excess weight.
Okay, getting long.
Anyway, there are certain physical aspects to this that it makes it difficult to control your weight for some people. Of course, your determination is cruicial, too, but the entire mechanism is very complex.
As for your BIL, even if he was successful, let's see how it goes, and he also should understand the complexity of this problem, given that he has the basic knowledge to understand.
For a lot of you, it becomes a race for time, more than anything else.

Quite honestly, I would not suggest this surgery for anyone who is not ready for it all, because it is a drastic change, but if you are ready, then, I will give you the kind of support I am trained to give.

(((((((HUGS)))))) to all.

[DocSanae]

Adding here, since a number of posts went up while I was posting.
For some, the issues are PTSD, while for others, it's just their basic coping method they picked up early in their lives, and continued with it. Some will have developed better coping methods along they way, but still had food step in from time to time, while for others, other coping methods just didin't stand the chance against food.
We all need SOMETHING to cope, so it's basically a journey to find coping methods that are productive, and help to improve the quality of your life, than to send you into the negative spiral of "oh, no, yuck, yuck, yuck." The brain receptors for pleasure has a lot to do with it, because it's a question of what stimulus is most effective in stimulating that "Yay, I feel good!!!" feeling. This can be physical pleasure, or it can be mental/spiritual. I mean, if you did something good, lilke help someone and they are grateful to you, we often use the expression "glow all over" "get a warm feeling" and these expressions wouldn't have come to be, unless you really had the physical reaction of feeling warm; when you are stressed out mentally, you get butterflies in your stomach, so we definitely have a body-mind connection. It would be folly to ignore this, and I'm glad you all are comfy with this thought.

(((((HUGS))))))

[BOOTS]

what is PTSD????????????

[DocSanae]

Post traumatic stress disorder

[Kenyar]

WOW! I wish I coul dhave said ti as eloquently as doc! lol!
I agree with EVERYTHING said. Unfortunately, there are some people who dont, but you need to make the decision and follow thru if you chose this path. DOnt worry about what other people say about the surgery or how they judge you. Understand that it isnt as simple as relying on a smaller stomach and the malabsorption to lose the weight. Know that it doesnt end with just the weight loss.

KNOWING and aknowledging that alone will guarantee you LONG TERM success. Boots, you're already part of the way there. Your mind is open to this and that's great.

I am sure you will do great and be a huge success!

Oh by the way, i think I have sustituted exercise for food. WHen I'm stressed, sad, mad, I work out lol! Doesnt matter how long or how many sessions a day. I am just trying to train myself not to reach for food in these situations. Hopefully this will work out until I get into therapy and address why I'm "reaching" to begin with. but for now, elliptical elliptical elliptical!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[fr1endly2]

good to break and change those habits were you are kenya!
ITs gets a tad bit harder were i am!
KEEP up the fabulous work

[MsVickie]

Well dont yall throw rocks at me ok but im NOT a big Oprah Winfery fan however.......LOL she does have some good points when it comes to weight. She was was talking to a father about his daughter. He plainy stated that his daughter was totally discusting to him when he looked at her because she was so fat. Oprah asked him if she ever had any trauma in her life from birth until now. The thought about it a minute and stated he found out she had been molested when she was 5 but that was so many years ago she didnt have a excuse. DUH@@@@ daddy !!! She defened the girl and try to explain along with a councler what effect that had on her life and how she delt with it.

I never realized my life could have a affect on my eating. When I watched that show I know its been atleast 15 years ago now.... I thought about it and it made sense to me. I catch myself now doing it. When somthing is bothering me I go and eat. I know exacutally what im doing when i do it. Does that stop me? No.

As I have sad before.....my insurance requied me to see a shrink before.... surgery and my surgeon reqires 2 visits. The second one is to see if you are depressed. Its a test. Many disagree with me on this but everything you have to deal with when you first are going though the motions of getting the insurance to approve this..... medical testing.... lab work etc. for me this was my most enjoyable visit. Would I call him up aftewards if i need to? I sure would !

[Kenyar]

I had the "psych consult/ evaluation" pre-op as well, however this is what it consisted of:
1) do you have a history of mental disease? no
2) are you depressed or have you ever been clinically diagnosed with depression? no
3) do you fully understand the procedure and that it will change your life? yes

...that was extent my consult. SO you see where I've had to do lots of figuring things out on my own up to this point lol!

[FemmeMode]

I completely agree with you Kenyar....but if therapy isn't possible ....it's still sooo important to still look within to do the "inner work." This started for me immediately...actually the day I had surgery....I worked thru the pain....and worked on being disciplined to follow my protocol.

Then when solid foods entered the picture...this was a challenge. First in following the "rules" (which completely is "foreign" to me - regarding, chewing...eating slowly...and not drinking).

Asking myself..."why do I struggle with ____________?"

(fill in the blank with motivation...food....self-control)

THAT is where I started....

_____________________________________



Honestly, for me, there are soooo many days when I don't feel 'motivated'....or I'm have a 'carb attack'...'sweet attack'....or think I feel constantly hungry. (none of which is healthy for me...emotionally or physically)


That is when I have to get 'REAL' with myself....and put some tools into action-

• What's my consistent complaint? (like my eating or my weight)
• What's my assessment of the issue?? (what's going on??)
• What choices am I making? (acknowledging that I am in control - it is my choice or decision -good or bad- I'm not in a trance being 'pulled in' - it's not something that is just mysteriously 'happening TO ME')

______________________________________

THE NEXT THREE ARE MY KEYS- (I think my most important step of the process in figuring out what's going on for me...)
__________________________________________________ _____________

• What am I "getting out of it?" (It's easy to believe that the problem is my eating or my weight - but it's not....it's all about what I 'get out of it'....my pay off!)
  • ~TO CONTROL... OR AVOID BEING CONTROLED
  • ~ BEING RIGHT...
  • ~ JUSTIFY MYSELF OR MY FEELINGS
  • ~ AVOID LOOKING AT A DEEPER HURT OR PAIN
• What is the cost? (When I am consciously or subconsciously getting something out of my complaint there is a cost....often several....here are some I experience.)
• • ~ LOSS OF SELF or SELF-EXPRESION
  • ~ LOSS OF HEALTH or VITALITY
  • ~ LOSS OF LOVE or CONNECTEDNESS
  • ~ LOSS OF FULLFILMENT or SATISFACTION
• What is the cost to Others? (What is the impact of my choices on others - my husband, family, children or friends?)
• ~ LOSS OF SELF or SELF-EXPRESION
• ~ LOSS OF HEALTH or VITALITY
• ~ LOSS OF LOVE or CONNECTEDNESS
• ~ LOSS OF FULLFILMENT or SATISFACTION

______________________________________
Once I have been authentic with myself and can see the choice I'm making what I'm getting out of it...and then to determine what it's costing me...then an only then am I able to take it to God - otherwise - all I do is complain to Him...and feel sorry for myself...and like a victim! Using this process has been the main thing that has gotten me thru this journey. I often have to do these steps DAILY!
_________________________________
I love this definition:

• pièce de ré·sis·tance (pyĕs də rā-zē-stäNs') n., pl. -a French term, translated into English literally as "piece of resistance", referring to the best part or feature of something , a showpiece, or highlight. Literal translation of the phrase, however, fails to define it. The phrase gives the sense that the referred-to element is the defining essence of the whole, that part that makes it memorable or gives it its unique character. An outstanding accomplishment or the principal dish of a meal.

I think this process is imperative...You must walk this road - "Rue Pièce de Résistance" of sorts.
______________________________________

Doing the INNER WORK is "the defining essence of the whole journey." Doing the INNER WORK is the "part that makes it memorable & gives your journey it's Unique Character!"

[ChuppyGirl]

Originally Posted by fr1endly2

keep in mind boots...those first days home from surgery its very normal to greive the loss of food. IT happens to many...
food to some has become a best friend and when lost from the surgery
it takes some adjusting and greiving.

AT about 10 months out i did take some health management councling sessions with a therpaist who was a gastric bypass patient...feeling she really knows being a patient herself......if you want her name and number let me know!
hugs
lisa

you guys are so fortunate that you have such a therapy. We don't have it here in Kuwait! even my surgeon; last time when I saw him he said to me I feel that I succeeded in your operation because I told you before the op that with the BPS I will gaurantee you that you'll reach BMI 32-36 and see I was right with what i said! the rest is all dependent on your effort!.

that's why I feel that my target has re-set on my surgeversary and as if this is the actual challenge. somehow I feel that the tool did it's part and now I have to work with my own ways (the tool won't work anymore!) it's a time window and I missed it!

Hey Lisa do you know if the therapist your talking about does overseas therapy? Do you have her e-mail or phone number?

Love,
Hanadi