[amy]

I finally figured it out today. I miss my food. I have been doing everything my nut & surgeon instructed and I feel pretty good. I take no joy in eating and I really miss that! Now I eat 5x a day to get in all of my protein, drink all of my H2O and my walk.

I am so sick of cutting my food into little bites, chew, chew, chewing and I derive no pleasure at all from food. I miss big bites. I miss my mouthfuls. I miss sandwiches, ice cream and eating an entire portion of food.

I went to a wedding last weekend and I couldn't believe how much wonderful food was there that I either didn't eat or ate only a tiny bite of! It was a lobster bake and I threw away steamed clams and chowder. A mortal sin! I ate my lobster with a fork & knife for goodness sakes. Who ever heard of that?

Today I had sushi that I have been dying for. I ate it with a fork & knife so I could cut it into tiny bites and chew, chew chew. I used to eat sushi in one big bite at a time. I didn't enjoy it nearly as much as I used to. My friend ate all of these cool appetizers and had sushi too. I just ate a little steamed spinach salad and most of one serving of unagi sushi. It just wasn't fun.

I know that letter about mourning food. I know I'm better off and I'm grateful for my new tool and habits. I just haven't wrapped my psyche around my new habits yet. I so want a giant portion of food. I want to go out to eat and eat the meat plus the bread, butter & sides and salad.

Sorry for all of my whining. How do you all adjust to this new life style? I miss my food!

Amy

[beckamarie]

Amy I am starting to feel that too. I just told hubby lastnight I just want to chew something, just one big bite thats all...I guess after years of gluttoning ourselves its hard to eat to live instead of living to eat

[fr1endly2]

Awww enjoy this time were you become a fussy picky eater cause it doesnt last forever. I wish and long for those days back
so i cant be in control!!!!

[MsVickie]

All I can offer is support honey. Bless your heart. Your from Maine and I will admit somthing to you ok. I have had lobester twice in my life and I eat it with a fork and knife so that is bad? LOL I have no idea so laugh at silly me

[goofchick]

I hear ya. We didnt get obese without befriending food. But we aren't going to be successful with the tool we have been given if we dont find new friends. Thats what we are here for.

How much of your food were you enjoying when you were eating sushi in one bite and not chewing thoroughly? If you think about it, you probably enjoyed the tidbit at the wedding a bit more, you were just maybe a little sad that you couldnt splurge like your friend???

Before I just put food in my mouth cause it tasting good and I was hungry. But the regret and remorse afterwards, the embarrassments, etc... was it worth it?

Refer to your list of why you had the surgery. That might help perk you up!

Keep up the good job though - you are doing very well and we are all proud of you.

[Kenyar]

i feel your pain. it will get better though. hang in there

[amy]

Oh Ms Vickie,

Thanks for making me laugh! Us Mainers usually eat lobster with our fingers, I assume the way a southerner might eat fried chicken. Did you enjoy the lobster?

Amy

[amy]

Tina,

Thanks for your perspective. No, I'm sure when I was eating like a glutton I didn't really enjoy the taste of my food, I just enjoyed the sensation of eating (which is what I miss!) But of course I know you're right, the regret, the embarrassment and the remorse are not worth it. I like myself so much better now that my eating is under control.

I can honestly say that I like myself and the choices I'm making in retrospect. I just miss my old coping mechanism.

I'm going to have to find some foods that I like the taste of and can enjoy. Someone suggested to me that I make a list of foods I really want and look into modifications for them. For instance, I really miss sandwiches and I think I could make a pretty satisfying and appropriate tuna melt.

Thanks so much for your support! It really helps!

Amy

[Chilly]

It doesn't really bother me too much anymore. But when I was a few weeks out or so, I did take a McDonalds french fry, cuz I wanted it SO BAD, and chewed it up a little bit and then spit it out. Sounds silly, but I DID get the "taste". I'm not recommending this, but just telling you how I fell "under pressure". lol

[Kenyar]

i did that too...but i swallowed it....and up it came. CURED! lol!