[BOOTS]

I JUST DONT UNDERSTAND I SHOULD BE ON TOP OF THE WORLD! BUT YESTERDAY AND EVEN MORE TODAY IM JUST HATING LIFE AND EVERYTHING ABOUT IT! DONT KNOW WHY.

I DONT WANT TO BE BOTHERED WITH DH, MY DAUGHTER OR ANYONE NOT EVEN FOOD! THE LAST 2 NIGHTS AND THIS MORNING I. DONT KNOW IF I CHEWED WRONG OF IF THE STRICTURE IS SLOWLY RETURNING WHICH IS A GOOD POSSIBILITY. SO I THINK THAT IS ALSO GETTING ME MAD. IM MAD WHEN I LOOK IN THE MIRROR, IM MAD THINKING, IS THIS ALL THERE IS IN LIFE, ETC

I JUST DONT GET IT. I HAVE A GOOD HUSBAND, BEAUTIFUL DAUGHTER, BEAUTIFUL HOME, FINALLY GOT THE SURGERY IVE BEEN WANTING BUT YET I FEEL VERY SNAPPY AND ANGRY AND JUST . I THOUGHT ONCE I GET THIS SURGERY I WOULD BE ON TOP OF THE WORLD SO WHAT HAPPENED?!?! SOMTIMES I FEEL LIKE RUNNING AWAY!

IM SO TIRED OF TRYING FIGURE OUT WHAT I CAN EAT THAT WONT MAKE ME. IM TIRED OF THIS SURGERY BEING THE MAIN THING IN MY LIFE RIGHT NOW, IM JUST TIRED!!! I STILL FEEL LIKE SOMTHING IS MISSING FROM MY LIFE. YES I MISS FOOD A BIT BUT THATS NOT IT.
NOTHING MAKES ME HAPPY AND I NEED TO GET OUT OF THIS FUNK BECAUSE MY DH THANK GOD HAS BEEN IGNORING ME BITE HIS HEAD OFF BUT HOW LONG WILL HE DO THAT.

[kimtindall]

Oh Boots, I am so sorry. Maybe you might want to consider trying to get in to see someone. This is a very trying time for us all and every little bit helps. It might be that you have had such a bad time with everything from the get go. You didnt really get a chance to explore like I did. I really dont know what to say to you, because I am not feeling anything like you are. Poor thing, you are in my thoughts. Before I had the surgery, I used to escape to MY bathroom and just sit in the tub for some quality time for myself. No dogs, no kids, no husband...just my little oasis for me to enjoy. I miss those so much. I know that once I get this dang tube out, I am going to spend a day in the tub!! LOL I am sorry that you are feeling this way, and hope that things begin to even out real soon.

[BOOTS]

Thanks Kim. Its So Hard Because I Know Im Also Very Mad At The Results Im Seeing With This Surgery! Some Family Members Ask Me How Much I Lost And They Are Suprised It Isnt More. Yet Im Soooo Strict About What And How Much I Eat!

The Tub Thing Is A Good Idea I Have A Big Jacuzzi In My Bathroom But I Cant Tell You The Last Time I Used It. Yes Its Been More Than A Year. Lol Maybe I Should Think About That. My Daughter Will Be Sleeping And My Husband Will Be At Work. My Dh Works Nights. Tonight He Is Home So Maybe I Will Think About Doing That Tomorrow Night.

Thanks

[beckamarie]

Edie you know when I first went in to see if I qualified for the surgery the guy doing the interview asked me if I suffered from depression, I told him yes but I have been on meds for years and had it under controll. He said good because if you arent depressed now you will be after surgery. At the time I thought he was an ass but now I understand what he is talking about. I think for you it might be a good idea to go to a therapist and talk to them. I am lucky I have to meet with my psycologist monthly per the surgeons orders. Honey I hope you can get over this bump. Lord knows you have had a hell of a time of it. I am so sorry for all your troubles

[kimtindall]

Yes, but you know that even if that scale is not moving, you are still losing the inches. I love going into the closet and putting on something that fit perfectly and now just kinda hangs. Or this morning I put on a pair of pants that were a lil snug before, and viola...they fit me perfectly!! A little baggy though.

I actually painted my bathroom a sandy yellow color and put a palm tree on the wall with a caribbean beach shower curtain and a border of beach chairs...it IS my oasis! No one is allowed in there but me and my husband! LOL . It really takes away from a very stressful day. And dont forget to light a candle. Ahhh, I miss it so much! LOL

[BOOTS]

Yes I Also Used To Go To Therapy And Used To Take Meds Years Ago. I Really Dont Want To Go Back On The Meds But I Am Willing To Go Back To Therapy

[yma]

BOOTS dont you care what ANYONE else says Each of us lose at different rates. You are doing all the right things...you will lose at your bodys pace. Also your body had gone through a major ordeal more than any of us with your complications. Your hormones are our of wack and YES you are still mourning your old crutch food. My first fight after surgery with my hubby all I wanted to do was eat my four pack of reeses peanut butter cups and say screw you to him. But unfortunatly I had to deal with it in other ways. We all have to learn to cope and thats why we are all here for each other we understand each other.

[BOOTS]

One Thing I Never Understood Is They Say If Your Not Losing Wt You Are Losing Inches. But If Your Losing Inches Where Is It Going If You Dont See It On The Scale? How Can It Go Away Without Showing Up On The Scale. Yes Some Clothes Are Getting Big On Me. Im Really Not Thinking Unrealistically The Amount Of Wt I Lost Since 7/16 Is Crazy!

[kimtindall]

Well, like many have said before, dont put so much on that scale and measure your loss by the way your clothes fit you now. You are doing fine. Give yourself a little slack, enjoy what is happening with you. You made it through the surgery (even though it was a struggle) and now you need to focus on the rest of your life. You are on your way to being healthy and fit and spending the rest of your life with that wonderful husband and of course that beautiful lil baby.

[BOOTS]

I Keep Trying To Remind Myself Of That. Thanks Kim I Need To Work Harder At Looking The Future And Enjoying It.