[judy]

I meant to send you a note the other day but was doing my surgery prep - I would like to encourage you to give this person one more try and be sure to tell him how you feel about your relationship with him. The first session is usually an interview type experience so the counseler can get a feel of where your coming from. My son had serious depression after loosing his first 100 lbs and seemed angry he couldn't enjoy food anymore. He worked with a counselor for at least a month to get to the core of his thought process. He was 4 yrs out this June and has worked thru most of his stuff.

The main thing to keep going back to is why we have all chosen to have this surgery in the first place. We can lose weight but we can't keep it off. This surgery assures us that we will not go back to using food for everything we don't want to process.

I encourage you to request someone new if you are not comfortable or do not trust the guy. It is important that you feel comfortable with him in order to get the most from your sessions.

I will keep you in my prayers to be sure.

Judy

[DocSanae]

It sounds as if he knows his stuff, so give him one or two more tries, but if you still feel uncomfortable, look around for someone else. Since psychs are on a very personnal level compared to physcial ailments (not the physical issues aren't personal, but I think you know what I mean) so, personal rapport and trust is a must for successful therapy. In the meanwhile, you still may be able to get a thing or two from the guy even if you decide in the end to find someone new.

As for the home stuff--it may be that he had found through his experience that it is easier for his past patients to relax and be free with their thoughts with a less professional atmosphere, but of course, this approach doesn't work with everyone. So, in that case, I think it's fine for you to tell him that you feel uncomfortable about taking off shoes and the layout and such, after all, it is his job to understand that people are different and react in different ways.

(((((((HUGS)))))))

[reducing bren]

I too have lived many places (including Hawaii) where it was customary to remove your shoes and our family have never worn shoes in homes even if not requested. it just doesn't seem normal to me. I guess its all about how people are raised. Many psyche's have their office in their home as it is more comfortable than a clinical setting. A lot of people cannot get comfortable talking personal things in a clinical setting. Like most others have said though, if you can't get comfortable, you may want to ask for someone else, or even ask him if he has another office location, as a lot of Dr's have both.

Sounds like he does have a lot of experience with our issues, so maybe he will work out in the end. Good luck.

Bren

[Kenyar]

im going to go again next weekend and see how i feel about the situation...
thanks to everybody for their ideas and input.

[Jill]

I agree with everyone else Kenya -- its good to give him another chance. It's not an easy situation, but he may have very valuable insights for you. Of course, the through the kitchen thing to his office / den is kinda odd -- usually they do have a separate entrance for their patients??