[BOOTS]

I JUST DONT GET IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

TONIGHT IM ONLINE TALKING TO MY DH AUNT WHO WAS ILL OVER THE SUMMER SO IT HAS BEEN A WHILE SINCE I HAVE SPOKEN OR SAW HER. SO SHE SAYS TO ME I HEARD YOU HAD A RUFF SUMMER. SO I SAID WHO TOLD YOU ABOUT MY SURGERY? AND OF COURSE SHE TOLD ME MY SISTER IN LAW DID. SO I WAS SOOOOOOOO PISSED! SO I SAY TO MY DH WHAT RIGHT DOES YOUR SISTER HAVE IN TELLING PEOPLE MY BUSINESS. OF COURSE HIS RESPONCE WAS YOU KNOW MY SISTER SHE HAS A BIG MOUTH, ETC ETC. THAT GOT ME MORE MAD!!! SO I SAID TO MY DH WHAT THE HELL DONT YOU GET IT THIS IS PRIVATE AND PERSONAL TO ME AND I WILL DECIDE WHO AND WHEN I TELL. IM TAKING THIS IN STEPS RIGHT NOW. FIRST I NEED TO ACCEPT THIS SURGERY FOR MYSELF AND ONCE I FELT COMFORTABLE I WOULD TELL SELECTED PEOPLE AND IT WILL COME FROM MY MOUTH. SO MY DH SAYS I DONT UNDERSTAND WHAT THE BIG DEAL IS AND WHY WILL YOU TELL ONE PERSON AND NOT AN OTHER. THEN HE SAYS YOU SHOULDNT FEEL ASHAMED TO TELL PEOPLE. THEN I SAID IM NOT ASHAMED THAT I HAD THE SURGERY I JUST NEED TO DO THIS MY WAY WHAT IS SO HARD TO UNDERSTAND ABOUT THAT.

SO THEN I EMAIL MY SISTER IN LAW VERY SWEETLY TO EXPLAIN HOW I FELT AND TOLD HER THE SAME THING I TOLD MY DH. SHE EMAILS ME BACK WITH. SORRY I DIDNT MEAN TO BETRAY YOU I DIDNT REALIZE THIS WAS A SECRET. I ONLY TOLD MY AUNT BECAUSE SHE HAD MENTIONED YOU. AND I THINK THATS ALL I TOLD, MAYBE? AND DONT WORRY I ASSURE YOU I WONT ACKNOWLEDGE IT ANYMORE. I APOLIGIZE.


I THOUGHT OUT OF ALL PEOPLE SHE WOULD UNDERSTAND ABOUT KEEPING THINGS PRIVATE AND PERSONAL. SHE IS 42 AND STILL SEEING SPECIALISTS AND TRYING TO HAVE A BABY BUT WONT TELL ANYONE NOT EVEN MY HUSBAND AND ME. THE ONLY REASON WE KNOW IS BECAUSE MY FATHER IN LAW TOLD US AND SHE DOESNT EVEN REALLY TELL HIM MUCH.

SO LET ME GET THIS STRAIGHT HER PROBLEMS ARE SENSITIVE, PRIVATE AND PERSONAL BUT MINE ARENT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[beckamarie]

Edie I understand you being pissed at first but didnt she apologise with this

SORRY I DIDNT MEAN TO BETRAY YOU I DIDNT REALIZE THIS WAS A SECRET. I ONLY TOLD MY AUNT BECAUSE SHE HAD MENTIONED YOU. AND I THINK THATS ALL I TOLD, MAYBE? AND DONT WORRY I ASSURE YOU I WONT ACKNOWLEDGE IT ANYMORE. I APOLIGIZE

I think she probably ment no harm from it and would accept her apology but thats just me

[DocSanae]

I rather agree with becka on this. I think she apologised because she understood your need because she has her own. Just because she has her own needs doesn't mean that she will see outright what others need, but once she realises, I'm sure she'll keep her promise. It's just that she didn't realise how you wanted to go about this.
If she didn't care, she most certainly would have sent you back a nasty email instead of an apology.
Edie, you've been through a rough patch, and I'm sure your DH's aunt was concerned about you because she herself has had a bad time. She also may need support, you know, and may have asked you because of your respective experiences.
(((((HUGS)))))

[BreeChick]

Once the 'cat is out of the bag' so to speak you just really have to deal with your anger and ---MOVE ON---

In the end what does it matter?

I think I'm at a point where I believe people put a bit much on this surgery and frankly I think it becomes about some part of us being 'embarrassed' that it came to this.

People are gonna have opinions about the surgery and it's not like you can hide the results. THAT bit quickly is not a secret!

Whether it's now or 2 yrs from now when someone compliments you about how great you look and you share that you had the surgery and...whammo!

their comment is "wow I wish -I- could have that surgery"...and that are standing there in size 6 with an itty bitty pudge of belly from having a baby a year ago...well you're gonna get angry all over again.

Deal with the anger now...because the comments don't ever go away. Or worse women will start the whole thing of trying to get you to 'go on a diet together' stuff when you are a normal size again..

that 'thing' that women do in offices..urgg..bugs me.

remember there are a LOT of people that truly believe this surgery is one-a CHOICE and two-is a type of plastic surgery that is ELECTIVE.

don't THAT make ya angry?!

don't sweat the small stuff hon---family is important!!

[kimtindall]

I understand what you are saying. I feel the same way...if I tell someone something in confidence, that is what it is. In CONFIDENCE!

[Kenyar]

i feel the same way. it should be your choice who to tell and when.

[cindylouwho]

(((((HUGS)))))

Edie,

I truly understand you wanting to keep things secret. The only thing I have to offer is that you were so very sick there for a while, that maybe the whole confidentiality thing went out of her mind because she was so worried about you. Just a thought.

[fr1endly2]

sorry that happened.
I know i didnt tell people
for that reason till i was ready.
GOING in and unt il i was thin
only the immediate family
and my clients knew
as i got thin i choose
who i told what

[A new me]

Boots I understand what your saying. In-laws-----erghhhhh!!!!

[Lch]

i understand what you are saying, i am a very private person too, but it does sound like an honest mistake, one my family makes all the time, including myself. Sometimes you just get to talking and something slips. I am sure if she knew how upset it would have made you she would have not said anything. and this comment "Deal with the anger now...because the comments don't ever go away" is very true. they may just be just words, but they seem to settle to the bottom of your soul. I learned a long time ago, to try and think before i speak in anger. (doesn't always work ) but i do try.