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Old 11-09-2007, 05:26 AM   #1 (permalink)
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Join Date: Mar 2006
Location: NYC the best place in the world to live!
Posts: 3,453

Weight Statistics

Halloween 2005
Start Date:
4' 11"
Height:
212 lb
Start Weight:
127 lb
Current Weight:
130 lb
Goal Weight:
85 lb
Weight Loss:
-3 lb
Lb Left to Lose:
40.0943396226 %
% Lost:

Body Mass Index
42.8141338696
BMI Start:
25.6480896294
BMI Current:
26.2539500144
BMI Goal:

Weight Loss Method
Roux en Y Gastric Bypass
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Talking Listening is Very Important!

To Build Friendships With Good Listening Skills
From Elizabeth Scott, M.S.,
Your Guide to Stress Management.
FREE Newsletter. Sign Up Now!
About.com Health's Disease and Condition content is reviewed by Steven Gans, M.D.
When you’re feeling stressed, have had a particularly difficult day, or are facng a crisis the ear of a supportive friend can be a lifeline to peace. A genuinely good listener is actually more rare than one would think, and also more valuable. Learn how to be a truly supportive listener, and you may find yourself surrounded by others who are able to do the same. Here are some important steps to being a better listener:
Difficulty: Average
Time Required: Varies, Depending On The Situation
Here's How:
  1. Listen, Listen, Listen. Ask your friend what’s wrong, and really listen to the answer. Let them vent their fears, frustrations and other important feelings, maintaining eye contact and showing that you’re interested in what they have to say. Resist the urge to give advice, and just let them get it out.
  2. Reframe What You Hear. Summarize and repeat back your understanding of what they’re saying so they know you’re hearing them, and focus on the emotions they might be feeling. For example, if your friend is talking about family problems, you might find yourself saying, “It looks like things are getting pretty hostile. You sound like you’re feeling hurt.”
  3. Ask About Feelings. Ask them to expand on what they’re feeling. Asking about their feelings provides a good emotional release and might be more helpful than just focusing on the facts of their situation.
  4. Keep The Focus On Them. Rather than delving into a related story of your own, keep the focus on them until they feel better. You can reference something that happened to you if you bring the focus back to them quickly. They will appreciate the focused attention, and this will help them feel genuinely cared for and understood.
  5. Help Brainstorm. Rather than giving advice in the beginning, which cuts off further exploration of feelings and other communication, wait until they’ve gotten their feelings out, and then help them brainstorm solutions. If you help them come up with ideas and look at the pros and cons of each, they’re likely to come up with a solution they feel good about. Or they might feel better after just being able to talk and feeling heard.
Tips:
  1. Stay Present. Sometimes people feign listening, but they’re really just waiting for their friend to stop talking so they can say whatever they’ve been mentally rehearsing while they’ve been pretending to listen. People can usually sense this, and it doesn’t feel good. Also, they tend to miss what’s being said because they’re not focused.
  2. Don’t Give Advice. It’s common to want to immediately give advice and ‘fix’ your friend’s problem. Unless it's specifically requested, don’t. While you’re trying to help, what would work for you might not work for your friend; also, advice can feel condescending. Unless they ask directly for advice, your friend probably just wants to feel heard and understood, and then can find his or her own solutions.
  3. Trust The Process. It might feel a little scary to listen to feelings before diving into solutions, and hearing your friend talk about upset feelings might even make you feel helpless. But usually offering a supportive ear and sitting with your friend in an uncomfortable place is the most helpful thing you can do, and once the feelings are cleared out, the solutions can start coming.
  4. Let Things Even Out Over Time. With all this focus on your friend’s problems, it might be difficult not to focus equal time on your own. Relax in the knowledge that, when you need a friend, your friend will likely be a better listener for you. If you’re consistently doing all the giving, you can re-evaluate the dynamics of the relationship. But being a good listener can make you a stronger, more caring person and bring a more supportive angle to your relationships.


Thank you to all of you here that have been good listeners and continue to be good listeners. You are very important.

LittleLisaMarie
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Yes, you can often get insurance cover for your Weight Loss Surgery.
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Old 11-09-2007, 12:44 PM   #2 (permalink)
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Join Date: Mar 2006
Location: NYC the best place in the world to live!
Posts: 3,453

Weight Statistics

Halloween 2005
Start Date:
4' 11"
Height:
212 lb
Start Weight:
127 lb
Current Weight:
130 lb
Goal Weight:
85 lb
Weight Loss:
-3 lb
Lb Left to Lose:
40.0943396226 %
% Lost:

Body Mass Index
42.8141338696
BMI Start:
25.6480896294
BMI Current:
26.2539500144
BMI Goal:

Weight Loss Method
Roux en Y Gastric Bypass
Send a message via AIM to LittleLisaMarie
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Wow nobody is responding...i guess we are all listening lol....

Love you guys.

LittleLisaMarie
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Old 11-09-2007, 01:19 PM   #3 (permalink)
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Join Date: Jan 2007
Location: Ct
Posts: 1,569

Weight Statistics

03/29/07
Surgery Date:
5' 7"
Height:
257 lb
Start Weight:
134 lb
Current Weight:
150 lb
Goal Weight:
123 lb
Weight Loss:
-16 lb
Lb Left to Lose:
47.859922179 %
% Lost:

Body Mass Index
40.2474938739
BMI Start:
20.9850746269
BMI Current:
23.4907551793
BMI Goal:

Weight Loss Method
Roux en Y Gastric Bypass
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Good advice Lisa! Thanks.
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Old 11-09-2007, 04:11 PM   #4 (permalink)
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Location: North Texas
Posts: 5,236
Blog Entries: 1

Weight Statistics

I've lost/gained my whole life!!!
Start Date:
Aug 1, 2007
Surgery Date:
5' 8"
Height:
280 lb
Start Weight:
154 lb
Current Weight:
150 lb
Goal Weight:
126 lb
Weight Loss:
4 lb
Lb Left to Lose:
45 %
% Lost:
Summer 2008
Goal Date:

Body Mass Index
42.5692041522
BMI Start:
23.4130622837
BMI Current:
22.8049307958
BMI Goal:

Weight Loss Method
Roux en Y Gastric Bypass
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I listed to you every day girl...I love the inspirational/positive stuff you are posting!
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Old 11-09-2007, 08:52 PM   #5 (permalink)
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Join Date: Sep 2007
Location: coarsegold california
Posts: 1,541

Weight Statistics

8/23/07
Start Date:
8/22/07
Surgery Date:
5' 7"
Height:
315 lb
Start Weight:
192 lb
Current Weight:
170 lb
Goal Weight:
123 lb
Weight Loss:
22 lb
Lb Left to Lose:
39.0476190476 %
% Lost:
I have no idea
Goal Date:

Body Mass Index
49.3305858766
BMI Start:
30.0681666295
BMI Current:
26.6228558699
BMI Goal:

Weight Loss Method
Roux en Y Gastric Bypass
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Reminds me of a favorite scripture, James 1:19-"Know this, my beloved brothers, Every man must be swift about hearing, slow about speaking, slow about wrath." It really is true, and remembering it has kept me from putting my foot in my mouth a few times!
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Old 11-09-2007, 09:36 PM   #6 (permalink)
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Join Date: Jan 2007
Location: Ct
Posts: 1,569

Weight Statistics

03/29/07
Surgery Date:
5' 7"
Height:
257 lb
Start Weight:
134 lb
Current Weight:
150 lb
Goal Weight:
123 lb
Weight Loss:
-16 lb
Lb Left to Lose:
47.859922179 %
% Lost:

Body Mass Index
40.2474938739
BMI Start:
20.9850746269
BMI Current:
23.4907551793
BMI Goal:

Weight Loss Method
Roux en Y Gastric Bypass
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Love the scripture Traci, now if I can only remember it each day. LOL
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