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11-28-2007, 09:22 AM
| #1 (permalink) |
| Cub Reporter Join Date: Nov 2007
Posts: 71
Weight Statistics October 25, 2007 Surgery Date:
5' 0" Height: 284 lb Start Weight:
195 lb Current Weight:
160 lb Goal Weight:
89 lb Weight Loss:
35 lb Lb Left to Lose:
31.338028169 % % Lost:
October 25, 2008 Goal Date:
Body Mass Index 55.4588888889 BMI Start:
38.0791666667 BMI Current:
31.2444444444 BMI Goal:
Weight Loss Method Roux en Y Gastric Bypass |  Is there something wrong with me? I need some help here. Now some people will think Im nuts for saying this but I know someone has to understand too. Lately my husband has been all over me... I mean wants it all the time.... and he was never like this prior to the surgery. For a long time, I was the only one even interested in that and now he says he just feels like its so much better etc.. Of course he says it in a nice way, but it sort of hurts my feelings. Dont get me wrong, sex is soooo much better now that I can move, sorry if that is TMI but is this normal? Anyone else feel this way?
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11-28-2007, 09:33 AM
| #2 (permalink) |
| Seasoned Veteran  Join Date: Jun 2007 Location: North Texas
Posts: 3,345
Blog Entries: 1 Weight Statistics I've lost/gained my whole life!!! Start Date:
Aug 1, 2007 Surgery Date:
5' 8" Height: 280 lb Start Weight:
145 lb Current Weight:
150 lb Goal Weight:
135 lb Weight Loss:
-5 lb Lb Left to Lose:
48.2142857143 % % Lost:
Summer 2008 Goal Date:
Body Mass Index 42.5692041522 BMI Start:
22.044766436 BMI Current:
22.8049307958 BMI Goal:
Weight Loss Method Roux en Y Gastric Bypass   | Our bedroom life was good before...and it's great now... I do find my husband looking at me now as though he's seeing me for the first time...I kinda got hurt feelings over that...is it exciting because we look like someone different?? Did they want someone different? DDH assured me he loved me before, that he just can't get over the transformation.... |
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11-28-2007, 09:36 AM
| #3 (permalink) |
| Cub Reporter Join Date: Nov 2007
Posts: 71
Weight Statistics October 25, 2007 Surgery Date:
5' 0" Height: 284 lb Start Weight:
195 lb Current Weight:
160 lb Goal Weight:
89 lb Weight Loss:
35 lb Lb Left to Lose:
31.338028169 % % Lost:
October 25, 2008 Goal Date:
Body Mass Index 55.4588888889 BMI Start:
38.0791666667 BMI Current:
31.2444444444 BMI Goal:
Weight Loss Method Roux en Y Gastric Bypass | exactly Kathy- how do you justify that its okay in your mind? I mean my husband does love me I know that- but at the same time, he is starting to pay attention to me in ways he didnt before. I dont know if Im supposed to feel bad about that or feel great about it....
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11-28-2007, 09:42 AM
| #4 (permalink) |
| Seasoned Veteran Join Date: Jun 2007 Location: North Texas
Posts: 3,345
Blog Entries: 1 Weight Statistics I've lost/gained my whole life!!! Start Date:
Aug 1, 2007 Surgery Date:
5' 8" Height: 280 lb Start Weight:
145 lb Current Weight:
150 lb Goal Weight:
135 lb Weight Loss:
-5 lb Lb Left to Lose:
48.2142857143 % % Lost:
Summer 2008 Goal Date:
Body Mass Index 42.5692041522 BMI Start:
22.044766436 BMI Current:
22.8049307958 BMI Goal:
Weight Loss Method Roux en Y Gastric Bypass | well, I'm not upset by it...hubs paid TONS of attention to me heavy...he is very proud of how much I've lost...and our sex life isn't more or less..... Have you talked to him about it? DDH & I have extremely open communications...and if it's making you feel bad, perhaps you should discuss it with him? |
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11-28-2007, 09:47 AM
| #5 (permalink) |
| Cub Reporter Join Date: Nov 2007
Posts: 71
Weight Statistics October 25, 2007 Surgery Date:
5' 0" Height: 284 lb Start Weight:
195 lb Current Weight:
160 lb Goal Weight:
89 lb Weight Loss:
35 lb Lb Left to Lose:
31.338028169 % % Lost:
October 25, 2008 Goal Date:
Body Mass Index 55.4588888889 BMI Start:
38.0791666667 BMI Current:
31.2444444444 BMI Goal:
Weight Loss Method Roux en Y Gastric Bypass | yeah I will I will definitely talk to him about it. We are really open too. Thanks for the advice 
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11-28-2007, 12:12 PM
| #6 (permalink) |
| WLS Master Guru  Join Date: Apr 2007 Location: Near St. Louis, MO.
Posts: 948
Weight Statistics 04/17/2007 Start Date:
April 30, 2007 Surgery Date:
5' 5" Height: 296 lb Start Weight:
168 lb Current Weight:
150 lb Goal Weight:
128 lb Weight Loss:
18 lb Lb Left to Lose:
43.2432432432 % % Lost:
05/21/2008 Goal Date:
Body Mass Index 49.2515976331 BMI Start:
27.9536094675 BMI Current:
24.9585798817 BMI Goal:
Weight Loss Method Roux en Y Gastric Bypass  | I didn't have anyone in my life before & after. But I can imagine that it would make you have some hurtful feelings. I'm sure it's a natural reaction. But, on the other hand, it IS a compliment!!!! I guess kind of think it as something like this. I used to LOVE a fresh hair cut on my man. Or dressed nice and smelling good. Did I react different? Yes I did. Did I "feel" different about him? No, I didn't, but the "change" was different, exciting, and appealing. I know this is just a minor example, weight loss is much more extreme, and your hurt feelings are more extreme in this case too, but I'm sure that is all it is. He's happy for you. He's imagining that position you did last night that you couldn't do before, things like that. And also, maybe your attitude is different, meaning you are regaining your self confidence back. So you are expressing a little different too. And you don't even notice it. It sounds like you guys have a GREAT relationship, and yes, your weightloss is going to affect it also. In a GOOD way!!! |
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11-28-2007, 12:44 PM
| #7 (permalink) |
| Cub Reporter Join Date: Nov 2007
Posts: 71
Weight Statistics October 25, 2007 Surgery Date:
5' 0" Height: 284 lb Start Weight:
195 lb Current Weight:
160 lb Goal Weight:
89 lb Weight Loss:
35 lb Lb Left to Lose:
31.338028169 % % Lost:
October 25, 2008 Goal Date:
Body Mass Index 55.4588888889 BMI Start:
38.0791666667 BMI Current:
31.2444444444 BMI Goal:
Weight Loss Method Roux en Y Gastric Bypass | Thanks Chilly- I needed to hear that. I think you are right. I think a lot of this is me too. I have become really flirty with him now that my confidence has been lifted. Some of it is definitely me. Thanks
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11-28-2007, 03:42 PM
| #8 (permalink) |
| WLS Master Guru  Join Date: Aug 2007 Location: PA (Near Philly)
Posts: 677
Blog Entries: 1 Weight Statistics March 12, 2008 Surgery Date:
5' 6" Height: 340 lb Start Weight:
251 lb Current Weight:
150 lb Goal Weight:
89 lb Weight Loss:
101 lb Lb Left to Lose:
26.1764705882 % % Lost:
Body Mass Index 54.8714416896 BMI Start:
40.5080348944 BMI Current:
24.2079889807 BMI Goal:
| I was thin when I got together with my new hubby. I only gained weight again after my health went down hill. And I have feelings the other way. I can't have the lights on anymore and I surely can't do some of the things I did before. (God I would crush him..lol) He was stand offish at first when I started getting heavy but that went away after a while for him but not for me. I want him to look at me like that again.. I miss that.. I think sometimes we mix up being looked at as sexy with being looked at with love. He always looks at me with love. I want him to look at me as sexy again. So ladies please don't take it the wrong way when your man seems more drawn to you. Men are very visual people and the amt of love they feel for you is not more or less. It is the other brain they are thinking with now.. It just means they are men..And nothing can change the fact that they like to look. it goes back to that visual thing again..lol
__________________  Don't count the days, Make the days count. |
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11-28-2007, 04:55 PM
| #9 (permalink) |
| Big Loser | You know, and I think I posted this on here somewhere, once when I lost a bunch of weight, my boyfriend was totally infatuated with me - like he always is when I lose weight. His exact words were (or almost exact words) that it was like being with someone else, but it was still me. I didn't even think to be hurt by it. Because it wasn't like he was with someone else or even wanted to be with someone else, it was just that - well, you know, sometimes men like a change of scenery. Fortunately your husband, and my boyfriend, only want the change of scenery, not a change in location. I worked with this woman once (who was NOT heavy by the way) who had hair down to her knees. She had obviously had that hair forever. Her husband had never known her with anything other than long, long hair. She got really tired of that hair because it was very thick and heavy (see that, her HAIR was heavy) and it gave her terrible headaches. She went and got it cut really, really, really short. Someone asked her how her husband liked it. She said he LOVED it - he felt like he was sleeping with someone else. It didn't bother her, because it certainly spiced things up. That is how I felt ever time I lost weight and my boyfriend came around to notice it. It never occurred to me to be hurt by that (not that there weren't other things about my weight that he hurt me with, just not that). I mean, if you go out and buy something really sexy to spice things up and he likes it, do you feel bad that he didn't like it when you wore your flannel nighty instead? Men are different than women. I can see how you feel, but I promise, it isn't like that to him. Try not to take it personally and just enjoy it. If he wants to "feel" like he is with another woman - I WANT to be that "other" woman! |
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11-28-2007, 05:19 PM
| #10 (permalink) |
| Cub Reporter Join Date: Nov 2007
Posts: 71
Weight Statistics October 25, 2007 Surgery Date:
5' 0" Height: 284 lb Start Weight:
195 lb Current Weight:
160 lb Goal Weight:
89 lb Weight Loss:
35 lb Lb Left to Lose:
31.338028169 % % Lost:
October 25, 2008 Goal Date:
Body Mass Index 55.4588888889 BMI Start:
38.0791666667 BMI Current:
31.2444444444 BMI Goal:
Weight Loss Method Roux en Y Gastric Bypass | exactly! Rachael- That was the best way to put it.... I do understand what you are saying and Im starting to realize that maybe its because I feel better about myself that he taking such an interest.
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