[Kenyar]

I took my daughter in for a physical so she could start school next week. (starting late due to the move) anyway, she has grown 2 1/2 inches is the past year and gained 16 lbs. she is 3' 10" and 66 lbs YIKES...since her last appt for an illness 3 months ago she gained 16 lbs

i know what it is. it SO my fault too. when we eat, i never finish my food and she ALWAYS says "since you arent going to eat yours, can i have it?" and i always let her. i have to stop doing that. because her eating my scraps is like her eating twice at each meal, snack or whatever. in my mind i knew this was wrong, BUT, i have had people comment on me being strict with her eating just because of my "situation" so i let it go. now i am kind of conflicted. i mean she is not categorized as obese or anything but she is quite chunky lol. i giggle because she is built EXACTLY like me when i was her age....anyway, what would you do? it's not even like its fast food or junk she is eating. it's actual food. ugh!

this seems to be a topic of debate as kids here in the US are more and more overweight each year...but on the same note i dont want to ride her into my eating habits because they arent "normal". what do i do? especially if she says she is hungry??

[traciflud]

I had this problem with my son, he learned from an early age that I would never say no to "I'm hungry" he used it a lot to stay up later than bed time, and I always gave in cause, hey, they are our kid and we have to feed them, its child abuse not to, right?? He has always weighed more than he should, and grandma always got onto me for this, but since surgery, he has been losing! The only thing I can attribute this to is that I don't buy any unhealthy food anymore. I always ate junk food and had it in the house until surgery, now all of the choices are healthy, and so even though he probably eats the same amount it is healthy food now. If he and my husband want something "bad" they go get it then and it is over and done with then. Maybe you could tell her she can have more if she waits awhile to make sure that she isn't already full, I know it takes so much time (how much I don't know, maybe Doc can say) before our brains tell our bodies we have ate enough. And maybe she will realize she is full, if not then she can have some more.

[poopoo]

KENYA,
I UNDERSTAND COMPLETELY HOW YOU FEEL . I'M IN THE SAME SITUATION . I DON'T WANT MY DAUGHTER TO GO THROUGH THE SAME THINGS THAT I HAVE WEIGHT WISE SO TRUST YOUR GUT FEELING NO MATTER WHAT ANYONE SAYS AND STAY STRICT ON HER TO A CERTAIN POINT MY DAUGHTER LOVES FOOD ALSO NOT SO MUCH JUNK BUT FOOD AND I HAVE TO KEEP A HANDLE ON HE IN FEAR OF HER BECOMING OVER WEIGHT SHE IS TEN 5'6 WAS 155LBS UNTIL I STARTED MY DIET I'VE LOST 11.5 LBS AND SHE LOST 5 LB SHE IS SO PROUD OF HER SELF AND SHE SAID SHE IS GONNA KEEP EATING WHAT I EAT UNTIL SHE LOSES 5 MORE BECAUSE IT WASN'T HARD AND SHE REALLY IDN'T KNOW SHE WAS ON A DIET ALSO . SO AS OVERWEIGHT MOTHERS WE HAVE TO BE CARE THAT OUR CHILDREN DONT HAVE OUR GENE AND OUR BAD HABITS JUST LET HER HAVE LITTLE TREATS ON OCCASION I KNOW THAT YOU WON'T STARVE HER TO DEATH . DON'T STRETCH HER STOMACH SO SHE WON'T NEED A POUCH IN THE FUTURE LOL

[qt82699]

this is such a hard thing, i know for myself, i really watch my kids weight, because i never want them to have to go thru what i have. it is really hard to say what the right way of going about it is,,,good luck

[MsVickie]

What Im gonna suggest is never ever do a diet on her. She will feel fat then. I agree dont let her have your leftovers. My hubby has been eating mine and its showing already. Let her eat the same things you are but when she ask just say no i will save them for my snack later. I still hear my mom after all these years saying...... Yall kids are going on a diet.

[terry]

i would try to teach her young how to make good choices in food and quanty because it starts and soon as we come in this world i have a friend lets her little boy eat all day and anything he 3 and almost 85 lbs and he not active at all coach her kenya now so when she older and can make own food choices she know whats good and ahat not to eat a lot of ps i saw the pic of you 2 she looks just like you in the face

[Kenyar]

everyone is very right about this. i just think its crazy because she doesnt eat junk. i guess also its the winter and she is not moving around like when it was warmer. i've started cutting back today and the dr spoke to her about it too so we'll see how much of this sinks in. thanks to you all for your input.

[DocSanae]

She may be chunky but she still is okay, she looks great in her pix.
Keep in mind, there are periods for kids when they gain in height and then gain in weight.
MsVickie is right, don't use the word diet, that can become a kind of PTSD the way the present day world is.

Get her activity level up for one, probably, your moving and the stress around it decreased her activity level as well as increasing her appetite. Are there any sports activity she's interested in that she can join? Are there any sports activities both of you can take part in, since you know you have to exercise, too, not just for weight loss and maintaining, but to achieve your dream?

I know you are eating things good for you, but also, when you eat, why not make a conversation of that kinds of food does what to our body.
Protein helps build our body, fat and carbs are gasoline, so we need to keep the balance of what we eat. Make it a sort of a science, biology, and home economics lesson, not a lesson in fashion and looks (present day diets tend to be about fashion and looks in the disguise of health)
Asking for leftovers may also be in some corner of your daughter's mind, "waste not". Clean up your plate, don't waste. I've heard a lot of people say that's what they grew up with. You may need to be creative with yoru cooking to utilize the leftovers the next day into another menu, but if you can do that, I think you can give your daughter something to look forward to for the next day, which may help.

Just throwing some ideas here.
I am so glad you are tackling this now. Give her a good basis for not only a secure physical health, but of a secure and healthy sense of self and self esteem. That is probably the best weapon for her to keep her health good.

The lead article of the most recent issue of The New England Journal of Medicine was just this--Childhood Obesity-- The Shape of Things to Come. The author discusses the improtance of the resposibility of parents in "their children's welfare by providing high-quality food, limiting television veiwing, and modeling a healthful lifestyle." The same article continues to lament, "But why should Mr. and Ms. G.'s efforts to protect their children from life-threatening illnesses be undermined by massive marketing campaigns from the manufacturere of junk food? Why are their children subjected to the temptation of such food in the school cafeteria and vending machines? Why don't the have the opportunity to exercise their bodies during the school day? And why must Mr. and Ms. G. fight with their insurance company for reimbursement to cover the costs of their children's care at the OWL (Optimal Weight for Life) clinic? Fortunately, with the exercise of both personal and social responsibility, we have the power to choose the shape of things to come."

[courtneey]

You know,this is such a toughy subject. Frankly, I don't think you have anything to worry about at her age. she eats healthy foods. I always worry about young girls and pressure to be thin. My sis was always on her daughter when she was smaller about having thick thighs, a litttle tummy, etc. My sis has always been overweight (and not willing to give up her food) so she says she didn't want jer daughter to be fat like her. My issue was that she should lead by example, not keep junk in the house, etc., but iunstead, as she is stting on the couch with a huge bowl of ice cream, she is critisizing Abbie about getting fat. (She is by no means heavy, she has very muscular legs as she is a dancer and a cheerleader). Well now, Abbie has been found purging in the bathroom, going days without eating, etc. all the classic signs of an eating disorder.

So Kenya, I feel for you, it is a tough situation. Personally, I think your daughter is an adorable, healthy looking child.......could almost make me wish I hada little girl. You are on the right track by keeping healthy foods around and no encouraging her to finish your plate, etc. I wish I had some advice, but I don't. I do think that you are worrying too much about it at this point, but always good to keep an eye on it.

I thank God that all kids are skinny and very active in sports, etc. Iy would be so hard to try to limiy what they can hen again, I have always been thin up until about 5 years ago when I had to start hitting the steroids and daddy is thin too. So hopefully genetics will prevail!

[Kenyar]

i couldnt resist posting a pic of her lol.

HPIM1117.jpg

i think that yes she is chunky but i am not overly concerned. it is the winter. she has become less active and i think once it gets warmer out she will trim up as she does every year. maybe i just notice her weight more due to my own limitation?