flip flops

freebird · 06-24-2006, 06:12 AM

so i have a friend who has applied for insurance to pay for this surgery for her and is now waiting their response but in the meantime she has had alot of flip flop emotions. maybe i could do it on my own if i tried harder, do i really want to do this, i've tried so many things that this is my last option to get to a healthy weight and lifestyle, ect... yes we have all had these thoughts right? so i told her they are not uncommon thoughts and that in the end no matter what i said she would have to make the ultimate decision. i asked her to ask herself, am i willing to go without the surgery and fail yet again and never get to a healthy weight? what has been my downfall before on all of my dieting and changes that brought me to where i am today? can i really overcome those now better than before and why do i think so? what are the benefits of having the surgery versus the benefits of doing it on my own if i can? how will my life be effected if i don't have the surgery? how will it be effected if i do have the surgery? i can't think of anything else to say to help her come to a decision. any suggestions?

DocSanae · 06-24-2006, 11:15 AM

Invite her to join this forum!!

freebird · 06-24-2006, 12:02 PM

Doc i already recommended that to her, heck i recommend people who aren't looking at having the surgery done to come here

fr1endly2 · 06-24-2006, 02:02 PM

I think the best cure for such flip flops is hanging and getting to know
POST OPS!!!! I know for me it let me know it was the best thing
I could do for myself!
SO like DOC said tell her to come here, want me to email
her an invititation?????

HUGzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

cabbie · 06-24-2006, 08:16 PM

OKAY OKAY that friend is me.......... My husband is really worried about me and so are my parents and no one seems to think that this is the right decision for me and now I am not so sure. I have really been doing good and sticking to a lot of what I would have to do after surgery and have lost at least 3 lbs last week. I am just so nervous that what if they are right and I wind up making a big mistake? Then I come on here and see all of you and the progress you make and feel jealous and want all that for me and then I hear about the numbness, the tom's which mine are already horrible, and not being able to eat salad which is a big staple in my life.... I just keep going back and forth and feel that I am on this roller coaster and everyone has jumped off it but me and I am hanging on by a thread. I am so confused...... Sorry for the rant but I know free is talking about me and I love her for bringing it out cause I have been so torn about what to do.

Kat · 06-24-2006, 10:28 PM

Hi Cabbie,
Don't you fret and don't worry about what anyone else says. When you are ready you will know. I was thinking about WLS for 4 years.
I had decided at one point that no - it was not for me. It scared me, didn't want to have the squirts for the rest of my life, etc. My situation was such that I was not able to loose any significant amount of weight anymore, had type 2 diabetes, started to have trouble with knees, yadda yadda yadda.
Eventually I came to the conclusion that I was better off with WLS then without it. It hit me that yup- I had changed my mind and I was going to do it! That was in Jan.
I had decided on lap band.
I spoke to someone who had a band and then later revised it to RNY. I told him I wanted a lap because it was reversable. He looked at me and said honey, people like you and me don't need anything reversable. That is what changed my mind. I hit all the sites and looked at all kinds of Docs. I got the RNY in May.
If you are loosing weight then your going in the right direction. Do what is best for you. Please don't get stressed. The more knowledge that you have, the better able you will be to do what is best for you.
I hope this helped.
Kat

DocSanae · 06-25-2006, 04:58 AM

Oooh, cabbie,

One thing you could do, if you have not already done so, it to drag your husband along to a surgeon's seminar. Drag him along to every meeting you need to have with drs and healthcare professionals, give him the chance to meet other prospective candidates and post ops, and hear their story. Give him a chance to draw his conclusions, but also let him see that ultimately, for every post op, it was their decision, and nobody else has the right to talk the person into, or out of, the surgery. What ever decision you make, is yours. Changing your habits pre-op is ver good, as it will make it easier for you to follow what instructions you need to follow post op. If you are wondering if you can do it the conventional way, as Heidi has done, you should also consider what medical conditions you have, that may make surgery a better choice for you. Everyone, even the post ops at goal, lives daily with the inner fear that they'll go back to where they were, and they are very scared of that. The roller coaster that you are on right now, has only changed its face for the post ops, espeically those going through the rapid weighloss phase right now, they have not gotten off it, either. Your emotions are quite normal, but as everyone says, you will know what is right for you when the time is right. No earlier, no later. Don't sweat too much about your roller coaster emotions till then. Just ride with the tide.

fr1endly2 · 06-25-2006, 05:47 AM

CABBIE what your mind is doing to you is so normal.
AND 1 year post op im still scared to death im
gonna regain and fail this.

ITS normal. WE are human and its a d its a scary decision.
ALL the best and i so want to catch you in the chat room!
LETS set a time to meet and chat!

MY surgeon required one appointment were my significant other was
present to hear everything.
SO bringing your hubby to the seminar or office visit is good.
Actually my surgeon was the key person that made me decide I Needed
the RNY not a banding. AND i dont regret this choice at all still.

LISA

freebird · 06-25-2006, 06:06 AM

and cabbie just to let you know, i still get the occasional flippie floppies about the surgery. when i make myself think about it, i know it's the right thing for me, but every once in a while i think, i could do this on my own. but feel how many times have i said that to myself only to fail. also it has gotten to the point that if i don't lose the extra weight the dr. said i will be dead before i am 60. Now when i was younger 60 seemed old, not so anymore and i want to be able to live and enjoy life again. another thing that might help is wls support group meetings. we have one close by that i haven't been able to get to once a month but i know that both pre-ops and post ops from this area go. i'm also seeing a psychiatrist, not my choice at first, (the psych in Rochester said i had to see one on a regular basis for him to ok the surgery) but am starting to think it's a good idea. hang in there sugar, you'll know what is right for you when it comes to crunch time.

fr1endly2 · 06-25-2006, 06:10 AM

YEAH when i made the deicsion too to go forward.....
I thought i was gonna die just going up the steps in my house!
THAT scared me and out ruled all the surgery risks.
I was headed for heart attack and strokes at 310 and that
terrified me into doing this!
HUGzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz
i didnt look back i just plunged forward and did the surgery
as fast as i could!
I know it doesnt go fast for all and it took me 3 months to get thru my
pre op clearances but i did it.

06-24-2006, 06:12 AM	#1 (permalink)
freebird WLS Mentor Join Date: Feb 2006 Location: outside of Ottawa Ontario Posts: 1,187 Please Enter Height:	flip flops so i have a friend who has applied for insurance to pay for this surgery for her and is now waiting their response but in the meantime she has had alot of flip flop emotions. maybe i could do it on my own if i tried harder, do i really want to do this, i've tried so many things that this is my last option to get to a healthy weight and lifestyle, ect... yes we have all had these thoughts right? so i told her they are not uncommon thoughts and that in the end no matter what i said she would have to make the ultimate decision. i asked her to ask herself, am i willing to go without the surgery and fail yet again and never get to a healthy weight? what has been my downfall before on all of my dieting and changes that brought me to where i am today? can i really overcome those now better than before and why do i think so? what are the benefits of having the surgery versus the benefits of doing it on my own if i can? how will my life be effected if i don't have the surgery? how will it be effected if i do have the surgery? i can't think of anything else to say to help her come to a decision. any suggestions? __________________ Don't let todays sorrows cloud tomorrows dreams (Surgery date? = still waiting)

06-24-2006, 11:15 AM	#2 (permalink)
DocSanae Super Moderator Join Date: Nov 2005 Location: Tokyo, Japan Posts: 8,918 Blog Entries: 2 5' 5" Height:	Invite her to join this forum!! __________________ "In every job that must be done, there is an element of fun." Just a li'l bit 'bout myself

06-24-2006, 12:02 PM	#3 (permalink)
freebird WLS Mentor Join Date: Feb 2006 Location: outside of Ottawa Ontario Posts: 1,187 Please Enter Height:	Doc i already recommended that to her, heck i recommend people who aren't looking at having the surgery done to come here __________________ Don't let todays sorrows cloud tomorrows dreams (Surgery date? = still waiting)

06-24-2006, 02:02 PM	#4 (permalink)
fr1endly2 Seasoned Veteran Join Date: Jan 2006 Location: SOMEPLACE LONG ISLAND, NY Posts: 6,756 Weight Statistics June 1, 2005 Start Date: Please Enter Height: 310 lb Start Weight: 167 lb Current Weight: 159 lb Goal Weight: 143 lb Weight Loss: 8 lb Lb Left to Lose: 46.1290322581 % % Lost: Body Mass Index 51 BMI Start: 27 BMI Current: Weight Loss Method Roux en Y Gastric Bypass	I think the best cure for such flip flops is hanging and getting to know POST OPS!!!! I know for me it let me know it was the best thing I could do for myself! SO like DOC said tell her to come here, want me to email her an invititation????? HUGzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz __________________ LISA http://w5.photobucket.com/widgets/dy...164/fr1endly2/ LAP RNY Gastric Bypass

06-24-2006, 08:16 PM	#5 (permalink)
cabbie WLS Guru Join Date: May 2006 Location: South Carolina Posts: 372 Weight Statistics July 11,2006 Start Date: July 11,2006 Surgery Date: Please Enter Height: 235 lb Start Weight: 132 lb Current Weight: 135 lb Goal Weight: 103 lb Weight Loss: -3 lb Lb Left to Lose: 43.829787234 % % Lost: July 11,2007 Goal Date: Body Mass Index 41 BMI Start: 22 BMI Current: 22 BMI Goal: Weight Loss Method Roux en Y Gastric Bypass	OKAY OKAY that friend is me.......... My husband is really worried about me and so are my parents and no one seems to think that this is the right decision for me and now I am not so sure. I have really been doing good and sticking to a lot of what I would have to do after surgery and have lost at least 3 lbs last week. I am just so nervous that what if they are right and I wind up making a big mistake? Then I come on here and see all of you and the progress you make and feel jealous and want all that for me and then I hear about the numbness, the tom's which mine are already horrible, and not being able to eat salad which is a big staple in my life.... I just keep going back and forth and feel that I am on this roller coaster and everyone has jumped off it but me and I am hanging on by a thread. I am so confused...... Sorry for the rant but I know free is talking about me and I love her for bringing it out cause I have been so torn about what to do. __________________



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06-24-2006, 10:28 PM	#6 (permalink)
Kat Seasoned Veteran Join Date: May 2006 Posts: 1,991 5/17/06 Start Date: 5' 6" Height:	Hi Cabbie, Don't you fret and don't worry about what anyone else says. When you are ready you will know. I was thinking about WLS for 4 years. I had decided at one point that no - it was not for me. It scared me, didn't want to have the squirts for the rest of my life, etc. My situation was such that I was not able to loose any significant amount of weight anymore, had type 2 diabetes, started to have trouble with knees, yadda yadda yadda. Eventually I came to the conclusion that I was better off with WLS then without it. It hit me that yup- I had changed my mind and I was going to do it! That was in Jan. I had decided on lap band. I spoke to someone who had a band and then later revised it to RNY. I told him I wanted a lap because it was reversable. He looked at me and said honey, people like you and me don't need anything reversable. That is what changed my mind. I hit all the sites and looked at all kinds of Docs. I got the RNY in May. If you are loosing weight then your going in the right direction. Do what is best for you. Please don't get stressed. The more knowledge that you have, the better able you will be to do what is best for you. I hope this helped. Kat Last edited by Kat : 06-24-2006 at 10:37 PM.

06-25-2006, 04:58 AM	#7 (permalink)
DocSanae Super Moderator Join Date: Nov 2005 Location: Tokyo, Japan Posts: 8,918 Blog Entries: 2 5' 5" Height:	Oooh, cabbie, One thing you could do, if you have not already done so, it to drag your husband along to a surgeon's seminar. Drag him along to every meeting you need to have with drs and healthcare professionals, give him the chance to meet other prospective candidates and post ops, and hear their story. Give him a chance to draw his conclusions, but also let him see that ultimately, for every post op, it was their decision, and nobody else has the right to talk the person into, or out of, the surgery. What ever decision you make, is yours. Changing your habits pre-op is ver good, as it will make it easier for you to follow what instructions you need to follow post op. If you are wondering if you can do it the conventional way, as Heidi has done, you should also consider what medical conditions you have, that may make surgery a better choice for you. Everyone, even the post ops at goal, lives daily with the inner fear that they'll go back to where they were, and they are very scared of that. The roller coaster that you are on right now, has only changed its face for the post ops, espeically those going through the rapid weighloss phase right now, they have not gotten off it, either. Your emotions are quite normal, but as everyone says, you will know what is right for you when the time is right. No earlier, no later. Don't sweat too much about your roller coaster emotions till then. Just ride with the tide. __________________ "In every job that must be done, there is an element of fun." Just a li'l bit 'bout myself

06-25-2006, 05:47 AM	#8 (permalink)
fr1endly2 Seasoned Veteran Join Date: Jan 2006 Location: SOMEPLACE LONG ISLAND, NY Posts: 6,756 Weight Statistics June 1, 2005 Start Date: Please Enter Height: 310 lb Start Weight: 167 lb Current Weight: 159 lb Goal Weight: 143 lb Weight Loss: 8 lb Lb Left to Lose: 46.1290322581 % % Lost: Body Mass Index 51 BMI Start: 27 BMI Current: Weight Loss Method Roux en Y Gastric Bypass	CABBIE what your mind is doing to you is so normal. AND 1 year post op im still scared to death im gonna regain and fail this. ITS normal. WE are human and its a d its a scary decision. ALL the best and i so want to catch you in the chat room! LETS set a time to meet and chat! MY surgeon required one appointment were my significant other was present to hear everything. SO bringing your hubby to the seminar or office visit is good. Actually my surgeon was the key person that made me decide I Needed the RNY not a banding. AND i dont regret this choice at all still. LISA __________________ LISA http://w5.photobucket.com/widgets/dy...164/fr1endly2/ LAP RNY Gastric Bypass

06-25-2006, 06:06 AM	#9 (permalink)
freebird WLS Mentor Join Date: Feb 2006 Location: outside of Ottawa Ontario Posts: 1,187 Please Enter Height:	and cabbie just to let you know, i still get the occasional flippie floppies about the surgery. when i make myself think about it, i know it's the right thing for me, but every once in a while i think, i could do this on my own. but feel how many times have i said that to myself only to fail. also it has gotten to the point that if i don't lose the extra weight the dr. said i will be dead before i am 60. Now when i was younger 60 seemed old, not so anymore and i want to be able to live and enjoy life again. another thing that might help is wls support group meetings. we have one close by that i haven't been able to get to once a month but i know that both pre-ops and post ops from this area go. i'm also seeing a psychiatrist, not my choice at first, (the psych in Rochester said i had to see one on a regular basis for him to ok the surgery) but am starting to think it's a good idea. hang in there sugar, you'll know what is right for you when it comes to crunch time. __________________ Don't let todays sorrows cloud tomorrows dreams (Surgery date? = still waiting)

06-25-2006, 06:10 AM	#10 (permalink)
fr1endly2 Seasoned Veteran Join Date: Jan 2006 Location: SOMEPLACE LONG ISLAND, NY Posts: 6,756 Weight Statistics June 1, 2005 Start Date: Please Enter Height: 310 lb Start Weight: 167 lb Current Weight: 159 lb Goal Weight: 143 lb Weight Loss: 8 lb Lb Left to Lose: 46.1290322581 % % Lost: Body Mass Index 51 BMI Start: 27 BMI Current: Weight Loss Method Roux en Y Gastric Bypass	YEAH when i made the deicsion too to go forward..... I thought i was gonna die just going up the steps in my house! THAT scared me and out ruled all the surgery risks. I was headed for heart attack and strokes at 310 and that terrified me into doing this! HUGzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz i didnt look back i just plunged forward and did the surgery as fast as i could! I know it doesnt go fast for all and it took me 3 months to get thru my pre op clearances but i did it. __________________ LISA http://w5.photobucket.com/widgets/dy...164/fr1endly2/ LAP RNY Gastric Bypass

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