[djactenaz]

I hope it is ok for me to post here. I realize this is a community for those who have had GB surgery. I have not, but my husband did 5 days ago. I am not really sure how to help him through the struggles he is having and the ones he will have in the future (not to mention the issues I know I will be going through!). He had his surgery on Tuesday, and is feeling great for the most part. He is extremely bored, and yesterday, 1 day after returning from the hospital, decided to go out and wash his car! He isn't taking the pain meds very often, only as needed. We have a 4 year old and and almost 3 year old. The reason I am coming here is something that happened only a little while ago. I knew it would happen at some point. Our almost 3 year old was sitting at the table eating some crackers, and my husband came wandering out into the kitchen. She said something about him eating, and he went back into the room downstairs he is using as his recovery room. I went in to talk to him, and he was very upset. Food has been a pretty big part of our life. We both eat out of boredom, among other things. I don't think he's been this bored in his life. So now the emotional aspect of NO FOOD is kicking in, and I just don't know how to help him feel better. Unfortunately, his discharge nurse told him 2 weeks of liquids only, and pureed after that, so I am hoping he'll feel a little better once he gets to that stage. I know I'm probably not making a lot of sense. This has been a fairly emotional ordeal for both of us, although I am trying to be supportive and not bring my emotional issues to him. What do I do to get him through this and help him feel better? Any advice would be great.
Jennifer

[Trulykath]

It's really hard at first...and parts of it do NOT get better....he will mourn food, but he needs to investigate alternatives to what he WAS eating...healty options....it gets easier as he figures out the routine that works best for him....try to support him....I know it's hard....!

[kimtindall]

I totally agree with Kath, the mourning aspect is the hardest part. you lose your best friend and have to replace them with new friends. For me, it was my family...doing things like playing games and just spending alot of time together that didnt involve food.

[A new me]

Yes I too agree with KAth and Kim. It is very hard in the begining and like Kath says there are still hard times but once he gets into a routine and starts to see the weight melting off he will be so happy. Its a total 180 degree lifestyle change but its so worth it. I am so much more happier and active and etc.......

I remember coming home and watching TV while I recouped and I swear that every commercial was food on TV. It was so hard to deal with. I wasnt really hungry so to say but it was more head hunger and the mental side of this journey is the hardest part.

[greensgirl19]

Ditto. It's a very emotional time and this is not an easy thing to do - yet everyone THINKS it's the easy way out. Just be there for him and support him encourage him to also come on here and talk to us. He'll see his feelings are completely normal and expected post-op.

[A new me]

Yes that is one big mis conseption that so many people say.......Oh RNY is the easy way out. Its not easy at all. Its an every day thing we deal with. By all means its not easy. It takes alot of planning our food and etc.......And not to mention the mind part of this journey. Yes tell him to come on here and to just read some of these posts and he will see he is not alone. And it does get better. The fist few days, I do remember thinking "what the heck did I do?"

[ragdolldude]

Depression can hit some people hard after surgery, especially if they tend to be an emotional eater. Keep an eye on him, as he's lost one of his best friends--food. Watch this site for food ideas as he can eat more. But in the mean time make sure he gets at least 80 grams of protein daily, mostly from whey protein shakes, that he drinks at least 48-64 oz of water daily, takes his vitamins and calcium citrate, and exercises. Start out slow on exercise, and then build up. He can come on these forums too and ask questions. It may help with his boredom.

[MsVickie]

First of all thank you for coming and asking for him. He may be asking you to do that more often. Its OK!!! He made a good choice having this done. For you your kids and himself. He might struggle with this from time to time. Right now he will have to drink liquids to make him feel full and then when he gets to the purred stage watch how he taste the food hes consuming. We all get new palates after this I think. Im a bit over 6 months out and I get mad sometimes I cant eat what I have plated for myself even though its not enough for a bird. Then there are times I feel wow I eat to much? But nothing nearly to the point of what I used to eat.

This is a one day at a time process. He will make it though. Be encouraging have him sit down and look though out this board. He don't have to post just have him look. The before during and after pictures are worth it. We have all been there and are still there! You need to come and get support from us with this to. I think that is a wonderful idea. You evidently love your hubby very much to put forth the effort to come ask. Hugs for you and him. You will make it.

[clancythecamper]

Chances are he is able to exercise a little (walking, for example) and if he feels up to washing the car he can probably take a few walks a day. Since you mentioned you have young kids, you may want to use this as a catalyst to start healthier eating and exercising habits for the whole house. He will see this as support and it will be great for the little guys. Maybe take walks with him and pull the kids in a wagon? Thanks for joining us, he may find he will enjoy this site too, lots of good info!

[rmyers61]

I just had my surgery on March 3, so almost 4 weeks now... it is tough, but I do feel it getting better... the first 2 weeks were liquid, protein drinks, water, soup (broth) but what saved me was my doctor told me I could have sugar free jello and sugar free ice pops... these counted towards water, also crystal light counted towards water too.... so this was great.... then at 2 weeks, they increased my diet to mashed potatoes, egg beaters, oatmeal, overcooked pasta and over cooked veggies, better than the first 2 weeks, but over cooked pasta is dry and I gag, the hardest part is that you want something, go to the store to get it, go home to make it, and you can't eat it, either it doesn't agree with you or you just eat 2 bites and can't eat any more, then you don't feel like you ate it anyway... hardest part is getting your mind in order, yes, boredom eating, and habit eating, it takes a big change on your body and mind to stop the habits. My 14 year old son is over weight, and all he says is that I took the easy way out to do this, no one will ever know how hard it is to not swallow like before, or eat like before and having your body say stop eating after 2 or 3 teaspoons, no one except us, so I already hate that saying that it is the easy way out, this is really tough... but definitely worth it, because before, no matter what I did, I couldn't loose weight... so far just this month alone, I went down from a 26 W to an 18 W... this is worth it, but really hard, and I guess it will continue to be hard until I follow this a while and get used to eating like this.... just support him by being there for him, it's hard, you are already doing this, and you are wonderful for this, not everyone has a good support group, glad to hear from you.