[sageemily2005]

since surgery i have become more aware of what my family puts in their mouths..and HOW MUCH...how often...and i find im gettin disgusted with the act they look like they have no control...my husband whom is not small he is 375lbs and 6' 2" and i have watch him eat so many times in one day and i dont know what to say to him i want him to be careful but i mean eating 5 meals in one day thats not including snacks he seems to allways have food in his mouth..it scares me for his health...my youngest son has gotten ahold of himiself in the past couple years with alot of help he used to be way out of control..my 7yr old thinks she has to feed her boredom or feed sadness let me tell you i have nipped that in the buns im teaching her foods isnt comfort but that she can find comfort in other things....any sugestions or should i just let things be and allow him to see how things are going for me in the losing weight and hope he will join me so he can become healthy i would love to have my husband by myside for the rest of my time...i love him dearly but im not sure if i should say any thing or how i should say it to him with out him being offended or thinking im jelous cause he can eat certain foods i cant...beleive me i dont miss a thing...half of the things i used to love i just GAG with the smell ....any ideas

[MsVickie]

Considering your previous post about him not wanting you to have the surgery you might be playing with dynamite if you say somthing. Kids are a little different. You can control what they eat most of the time and offer better stuff. Your husband on the other hand is a total different situation.

I offer no advice on this because personally if this was me (being your hubby) I would be mad. Let me explain..........My cousin who had this done 2 years prior to me suggested I go on a diet myself after she was about 2 months out. I was totally offened and told her what I thought about her suggestion.

Perhaps when you lose alot more then will see how active you get and how well your doing and then look at his own habits. Im sorry honey I cant advise no better.

[qt82699]

not really sure what to say about the hubby, he is an adult and even though u are concerned for him, i think he may be pretty mad if u bring this up...as for the kids, we have control of what they put in their mouths...we buy the food and we prepare the food..i know my kids have really wanted to eat more healthy things since they see me doing this...good luck!

[clancythecamper]

Personally, it would tick me off, especially if I knew you were right. It seems like we all have to get to this place on our own. We each have our own journey and our own reasons for doing surgery, etc. Having said that...... maybe you can plan and offer healthy choices and keep good things around the house. If he chooses bad choices elsewhere - well that's out of your control. Good luck!

[DocSanae]

(((((HUGS)))))) He is an independent and responsible adult, so he will have to think and decide on his own. I know it is hard for you to watch, but this is something he has to think through and decide on his own. It may be also that if you say something, he may feel that he lost his *eating* partner, so he may be having a hard time of his own.
That said, I do think it's okay for you to just tell him very casually and lightly, that at your present post op stage, when your system is still healing, the smell of some kinds of food make you gag, so could he help you by not bringing in such food into your home for a while. The other thing you can do is quietly cook food that is healthy and good. If you are asked to cook certain types of food that isn't healthy, then you can reply very matter of factly, that at the present stage, the smell while you cook them makes you feel ill also, so if he doesn't mind, please let you not cook them for now.
Other than that, what is probably best is just let him watch you get your health and energy back, and give him the grace of allowing him what to do about himself.

[Trulykath]

give it time.....DDH has gained the last few months...I'm nearly 9 months out and he's kinda talking about going to the gym with me now....especially when I passed him and weigh so much less than he does now!!!! They get their own pressure to get in shape once they see you doing it...plus, with everything we watch, I'm keeping healthier foods around the house, eating and cooking healthier...EVEN if you don't say anything, it eventually rubs off!!

[not quite Barbie]

Try to put yourself in his shoes. If he were the one losing the weight from surgery and he tried to tell you your'e eating too much and the wrong stuff, you KNOW you would get mad and resent it. Doc has some great suggestions.

My DH started exercising abot a month ago after he saw how much I lost. I didn't have to say anything to him, he just told me he wanted to live as long as possible. So give him time to come to the decision on his own. And start teaching the kids to like healthy foods!

[sageemily2005]

true you are all very right....i will wait an see what happens...i never thought of him losing his eating partner...i used to sit along side with him and eat babyback ribs and he made those recently and it did smell good but i refused to eat it cause it looked to fatty and i didnt want to dump...so it makes perfect sence to me about him losing his eating partner...thank you fine ladies for pointing out some extremely good points

[Trulykath]

FYI...we have a BBQ place here that makes babyback ribs that are too DIE FOR!!! I've had them several times since surgery...

[dolphinlover]

The one concern that my husband had when i had this surgery is that I'd start pointing the finger at him. I vowed I wouldn't. He NEVER said word one about how I looked after gaining over 100 lbs, I have no reason to do it back and wont. I do buy the groceries though. There are no carbs or sugar in the house and they are trimming up. I cook no carb or low carb meals. They go out and bring something home once in awhile but I still won't say anything. It has to be his decision.