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08-14-2008, 09:00 AM
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#1 (permalink)
| | Whipper Snapper
Join Date: Aug 2007 Location: Washington
Posts: 33
Weight Statistics 07/24/08 Start Date:
Aug 5th 2008 Surgery Date:
5' 5"
Height:
362 lb Start Weight:
326 lb Current Weight:
165 lb Goal Weight:
36 lb Weight Loss:
161 lb Lb Left to Lose:
9.94475138122 % % Lost:
08-05-09 Goal Date:
Body Mass Index60.2333727811 BMI Start:
54.2433136095 BMI Current:
27.4544378698 BMI Goal:
Weight Loss MethodRoux en Y Gastric Bypass
|  He left me...
So in one of the hardest things I've had to face in my life so far...the surgery, on top of it all, my husband has left me and my son. In just the last 2 months he has become this completely different person. He changed jobs and I know this girl from work (bad rep) was flirting with him and he just took it and ran with it. Telling me that I dont deserve to be treated like this, he loves me so much but cant stand the guilt and he cant be trusted. So he can give up his good married family life at home to be out doing who knows what. He alienated our family, his friends...I've never felt so hurt or betrayed. This isnt the person I married. All the special moments we have had in our lives...we have been together for 10 years, he made my son, I just dont know what to do. I've never felt so sick before, cant stand the thought of even dating or wanting to share my life with anyone else but worst I feel awful for my son...no choice of our own and our lives are completely different. He doesnt have his daddy everyday anymore but maybe 2 times a week. It just kills me when he cries for him, I hope I can be enough for him.
__________________ -Jennifer  | 
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08-14-2008, 09:24 AM
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#2 (permalink)
| | Seasoned Veteran
Join Date: Sep 2007 Location: Alabama
Posts: 4,019
Weight Statistics 9/28/07 Start Date:
9/28/07 Surgery Date:
5' 6"
Height:
279 lb Start Weight:
186 lb Current Weight:
175 lb Goal Weight:
93 lb Weight Loss:
11 lb Lb Left to Lose:
33.3333333333 % % Lost:
18 months Goal Date:
Body Mass Index45.0268595041 BMI Start:
30.0179063361 BMI Current:
28.2426538108 BMI Goal:
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Jennifer, I am so sorry you are going through this. Hold your head up and know that you didn't make the choice for your husband to leave. Also know that EVERYTHING that God allows you to come to in your life, He will also carry you through. He has given you your son and He will equip you to be what He needs you to be in order to be everything that your son needs. We all here for you, and I promise, this will pass. No matter if your husband decides to come back, you will make it through this.
PM me anytime if you need/want to talk.
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08-14-2008, 09:44 AM
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#3 (permalink)
| | Big Loser
Join Date: Sep 2007 Location: California
Posts: 180
Weight Statistics 6/1/07 Start Date:
6/1/07 Surgery Date:
5' 6"
Height:
242 lb Start Weight:
165 lb Current Weight:
145 lb Goal Weight:
77 lb Weight Loss:
20 lb Lb Left to Lose:
31.8181818182 % % Lost:
12/31/08 Goal Date:
Body Mass Index39.0555555556 BMI Start:
26.6287878788 BMI Current:
23.4010560147 BMI Goal:
Weight Loss MethodRoux en Y Gastric Bypass
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I just want to hug you, I am so sorry for your pain. I pray for peace & comfort for you & son. 
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08-14-2008, 10:43 AM
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#4 (permalink)
| | Seasoned Veteran
Join Date: Dec 2007 Location: Buffalo, NY
Posts: 2,573
Weight Statistics 12-19-07 Start Date:
1-29-08 Surgery Date:
5' 3"
Height:
286 lb Start Weight:
165 lb Current Weight:
150 lb Goal Weight:
121 lb Weight Loss:
15 lb Lb Left to Lose:
42.3076923077 % % Lost:
eventually Goal Date:
Body Mass Index50.6570924666 BMI Start:
29.2252456538 BMI Current:
26.5684051398 BMI Goal:
Weight Loss MethodRoux en Y Gastric Bypass
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Oh my, I'm so sorry that this has happened to you and your son. It's not fair to either of you. Please stay strong and lean on us as much as you need to. We are here for you as much as we can be. ((((((hugs))))))
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08-14-2008, 10:50 AM
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#5 (permalink)
| | Seasoned Veteran
Join Date: Oct 2007 Location: N.Y.
Posts: 1,577
Weight Statistics June 25,2007 Start Date:
June 25,2007 Surgery Date:
5' 7"
Height:
322 lb Start Weight:
239 lb Current Weight:
165 lb Goal Weight:
83 lb Weight Loss:
74 lb Lb Left to Lose:
25.7763975155 % % Lost:
07/2008 Goal Date:
Body Mass Index50.4268211183 BMI Start:
37.4286032524 BMI Current:
25.8398306973 BMI Goal:
Weight Loss MethodRoux en Y Gastric Bypass
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I am so sorry that he did this......keep your head up and proud YOU did nothing wrong. Unfortunately I know the pain that you are feeling and it will get easier worry about you and your son, you are on the road to better health and well being hang tough and we are here for you at any time. Kathy
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08-14-2008, 10:58 AM
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#6 (permalink)
| | Whipper Snapper
Join Date: Aug 2007 Location: Washington
Posts: 33
Weight Statistics 07/24/08 Start Date:
Aug 5th 2008 Surgery Date:
5' 5"
Height:
362 lb Start Weight:
326 lb Current Weight:
165 lb Goal Weight:
36 lb Weight Loss:
161 lb Lb Left to Lose:
9.94475138122 % % Lost:
08-05-09 Goal Date:
Body Mass Index60.2333727811 BMI Start:
54.2433136095 BMI Current:
27.4544378698 BMI Goal:
Weight Loss MethodRoux en Y Gastric Bypass
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Thats another thing that makes this so hard...he has told me that he loves me so much and lately when I see him when exchanging our son, he is so nice, like the guy I married, and talks to me like we normally would but I know he is living this other life as soon as he leaves us. If he really loved me like he says he does, wouldnt he opt for counceling or anything to keep his family together. I just dont know where his head is. I wish he would talk to me. He is acting like he is being the better man by leaving us because we deserve so much better but I've told him, he can be the better man if he would just try. Its like he is giving up thinking that we are going to be happy but he is hurting us more than I can ever let him know. I have so many emotions flowing through me and I have to keep them in because, I dont want my son to see me cry, I cant let him know that mommy is hurting. Thank you guys so much for your support and words of encouragement. I too believe that the lord will not give you more than you can handle, its just so overwhelming and heart breaking at the moment and difficult to see the light that will eventually come from all of this.
__________________ -Jennifer | |
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08-14-2008, 11:03 AM
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#7 (permalink)
| | Guru In Training
Join Date: Aug 2008 Location: Pittsburgh, PA
Posts: 284
Weight Statistics August 14, 2004 Start Date:
August 14, 2004 Surgery Date:
5' 6"
Height:
220 lb Start Weight:
132 lb Current Weight:
140 lb Goal Weight:
88 lb Weight Loss:
-8 lb Lb Left to Lose:
40 % % Lost:
Body Mass Index35.5050505051 BMI Start:
21.303030303 BMI Current:
22.5941230487 BMI Goal:
Weight Loss MethodRoux en Y Gastric Bypass
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Im so sorry for you.......(((((((((((((HUG)))))))))))) this cant be easy, but like everyone else said......keep your head high.
__________________ [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]MARY ANN Our talents are our gifts from God.....How we use them, is our gift to Him.......  | |
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08-14-2008, 11:03 AM
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#8 (permalink)
| | Seasoned Veteran
Join Date: Dec 2007 Location: Buffalo, NY
Posts: 2,573
Weight Statistics 12-19-07 Start Date:
1-29-08 Surgery Date:
5' 3"
Height:
286 lb Start Weight:
165 lb Current Weight:
150 lb Goal Weight:
121 lb Weight Loss:
15 lb Lb Left to Lose:
42.3076923077 % % Lost:
eventually Goal Date:
Body Mass Index50.6570924666 BMI Start:
29.2252456538 BMI Current:
26.5684051398 BMI Goal:
Weight Loss MethodRoux en Y Gastric Bypass
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I can't imagine where his head is at when he does stuff like this. Part of me wonder's if he's doing the whole 'I'm gonna leave you before you can leave me' thing. It's just sad that he's making decision's for you and your family without consulting you. And him acting all nice and sweet when he sees you makes it all even harder. There is nothing fair about this and I hope he comes to his senses (if that's what you want)before it's too late.
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08-14-2008, 11:08 AM
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#9 (permalink)
| | Guru In Training
Join Date: Aug 2008 Location: Pittsburgh, PA
Posts: 284
Weight Statistics August 14, 2004 Start Date:
August 14, 2004 Surgery Date:
5' 6"
Height:
220 lb Start Weight:
132 lb Current Weight:
140 lb Goal Weight:
88 lb Weight Loss:
-8 lb Lb Left to Lose:
40 % % Lost:
Body Mass Index35.5050505051 BMI Start:
21.303030303 BMI Current:
22.5941230487 BMI Goal:
Weight Loss MethodRoux en Y Gastric Bypass
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Even tho he is nice and sweet........please dont let him walk on you....He walked out on you.......if he deciedes to come back (if you choose to take him back) make him earn it......your right when you say the Lord will help you through this....Im praying for you
__________________ [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]MARY ANN Our talents are our gifts from God.....How we use them, is our gift to Him....... | |
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08-14-2008, 11:46 AM
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#10 (permalink)
| | Whipper Snapper
Join Date: Aug 2007 Location: Washington
Posts: 33
Weight Statistics 07/24/08 Start Date:
Aug 5th 2008 Surgery Date:
5' 5"
Height:
362 lb Start Weight:
326 lb Current Weight:
165 lb Goal Weight:
36 lb Weight Loss:
161 lb Lb Left to Lose:
9.94475138122 % % Lost:
08-05-09 Goal Date:
Body Mass Index60.2333727811 BMI Start:
54.2433136095 BMI Current:
27.4544378698 BMI Goal:
Weight Loss MethodRoux en Y Gastric Bypass
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I fight those thoughts everyday since all this happened...if I would take him back. I love him so much, we really had a great relationship before all of this. But even though he hasnt said it, I'm pretty sure he has been with this other girl...what would stop him at this point. I dont know if I would ever be able to trust him again, to be intimate with him again. Sometimes I think, if he really earned it, it would take time but I could get past it but then I think, if he has done this to me now, what will stop him another 5 years down the road. If he ever does want to come back (and I do believe he will even if its months down the road) he would have alot of himself to prove. I just dont whats right. Follow my heart or my head. And what is best for my son. He is only 2 now so its easier for him to lose his daddy at such a young age but if this was to happen again down the road when he is older, it would cause him so much more hurt. Its just a mess! Thanks for all the advice and prayers!
__________________ -Jennifer | |
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