[MsVickie]

Our own Doc Sanae couldnt have addressed this any better along with CT to Alfies questions. I will say I was very concered about my husbands feeling along this path that I took. I didnt respond to the text book version of the surgery. I had a difficult path. During this time I would reassure him about my own self and I was gonna be ok. Trust me was the word I used alot. That eased him some but not to the extent I wanted it to. Your wife did this for her self yes. But, you have to realize she also did it for you, your kids and to be able to live longer. I thought i was being selfish about my decision for a while but you know I wasnt. If it means putting her self first to make everyone elses life better than she has to do that. I understand that part because i did just that.

Its somthing that hits us that we within ourselfs know it has to be done or we will just not be able to go on much longer. This WILL benefit you in the long run. You will not see it now but in small steps you will realize it. You will have wow moments just like you wife does. Its somthing you will have to wait for. I wish I could give you a time table to look foward to but I cant.

This surgery truley changed my life. It saved it. I was only married about a year and a half when I had mine done. You must remember i was 40 when I got married for the first time ever. I do have a son though that is now 24. I never settled for less than what I needed from a man. The thing was i saw how my own father treated my mother and I knew I wanted that same respect. I still never allow a man to treat me with less respect than my father ever treated my mom. My hubby married me when i was at my largest. He has now seen me at my lowest weight since 9th grade. He was very supportive of my decision and I did tell him straight up it was MY decison in the end not his. And it was. Perhaps that was selfish of me but in reality I was honest. I wanted to live. I wanted to live again. I had to give up so many things i used to do because I simply couldnt do them any longer. I wanted to see my son get older have kids and have grandkids great grand kids etc...... I wanted to be a better wife to my husband. I have alot I want to do and see with him in the next 50 years. Meaning to go and do things with him HE enjoyed doing. Im doing that now. It feels great and he loves it. He says hon...... a couple years ago you wouldnt have been able to do this. I say i know honey I know.

My marriage has not suffered a bit from my life saving decision. Its only made it stronger. Hes been though alot with me and my health since I had this done. He said honey I had to learn alot but im grateful I did. I would have never thought when I took those marriage vows on Jan 6th 2006 the part for richer for poorer in sickness and in health would really be put to the test so fast. He was diagnosed with Thyroid Cancer 3 months after we were married. I had Gastric Bypass a year and a half after, i had complications, I took asprin and ended up in ICU again 2 years after we said I do, and he stuck with me thoughout it. I have seizures now and he has to take me everywhere because im not allowed to drive. This man is physically disabled because of 4 missing disc in his back . This means getting up at 6 am to have me to work no later than 8am and its a 45 min drive one way. I call him at lunch to tell him every day how much I love him and give him a estimate about what time I might get off. He waits alot of times because im a nurse and my estimates are always off because I work for a Pediatric Dr. This somtimes is up to a hour. I never wait on him to pick me up. Hes always there.

Marrige is work. Its both sides working at it and handling it. We respect each other. Would I do this all over?? YES I WOULD. Would I marry my husband again YES I WOULD!!! I asked him this very question the other day and he said..... OF COURSE I WOULD!!! I hope this helped you, and Alfie, honey listen you can come and ask any thing to any of us at any time. We are here to support eveyone not just the patient themself. I think its great you came on here and asked what you did and its a very viable question. Your not taking the back seat..... your sitting beside her right now. I hope that makes sence.