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01-13-2009, 05:49 PM
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#11 (permalink)
| | Seasoned Veteran
Join Date: Feb 2008 Location: Wisconsin
Posts: 2,004
Weight Statistics July 07 Start Date:
1/24/08 Surgery Date:
5' 5"
Height:
309 lb Start Weight:
135 lb Current Weight:
140 lb Goal Weight:
174 lb Weight Loss:
-5 lb Lb Left to Lose:
56.3106796117 % % Lost:
02/01/09 Goal Date:
Body Mass Index51.4146745562 BMI Start:
22.4627218935 BMI Current:
23.2946745562 BMI Goal:
Weight Loss MethodRoux en Y Gastric Bypass
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You guys have 4 children together so please really think about everything here. I am not saying stay together for them but be open with each other and discuss things before you move any further.
Tony I know how you are feeling. My ex left for his high school sweetheart after 16 years of marriage. I had a hard time for many years. People would say "God never gives you more than you can handle". I so hated that statement. I never thought I would date again, in fact I didn't for 7 years. I met a great guy and we are now engaged. He fell in love with me during my heaviest times. Give it time whatever is supposed to happen will.
I wish you both the best.
__________________  Kim  | 
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01-13-2009, 06:22 PM
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#12 (permalink)
| | Seasoned Veteran
Join Date: Mar 2006 Location: NYC the best place in the world to live!
Posts: 3,453
Weight Statistics Halloween 2005 Start Date:
4' 11"
Height:
212 lb Start Weight:
127 lb Current Weight:
130 lb Goal Weight:
85 lb Weight Loss:
-3 lb Lb Left to Lose:
40.0943396226 % % Lost:
Body Mass Index42.8141338696 BMI Start:
25.6480896294 BMI Current:
26.2539500144 BMI Goal:
Weight Loss MethodRoux en Y Gastric Bypass
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I am so sorry you guys are going through this tough time. Speaking as someone who has been with my husband 21 years, married for 14 of them and with 4 children myself, if there is any chance that you still love each other and feel that with hard work it can work out then dont give up. Seek a good counselor and try to work through your issues. Marriage has its ups and downs but it is work, hard hard work and with 2 people who have been together for many years mistakes are going to be made. We are not perfect people, and sometimes we dont know how to handle our emotions espically after this surgery and life transformation. I firmly believe that a good counselor can help. Even if in the end you decide that you cant move past mistakes made, at least you can try to understand each other. There are 4 children involved and while no body should stay in a bad marriage for children alone, it should be part of a decision to at least try to work it out. Again I know how hard it can be to make things work, its a totally personal decision that only you two can make. I will keep you guys in my thoughts and prayers. 
__________________ LisaMarie  | |
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01-13-2009, 06:42 PM
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#13 (permalink)
| | Seasoned Veteran
Join Date: Jun 2007 Location: Tampa, FL
Posts: 3,605
Weight Statistics July 10, 2007 Surgery Date:
5' 6"
Height:
271 lb Start Weight:
175 lb Current Weight:
182 lb Goal Weight:
96 lb Weight Loss:
-7 lb Lb Left to Lose:
35.4243542435 % % Lost:
Body Mass Index43.7357667585 BMI Start:
28.2426538108 BMI Current:
29.3723599633 BMI Goal:
Weight Loss MethodRoux en Y Gastric Bypass
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Thank you both for your honesty and candor ~~~~ Keeping you and your family in my prayers.
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01-13-2009, 07:20 PM
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#14 (permalink)
| | Seasoned Veteran
Join Date: Dec 2007 Location: AZ
Posts: 2,178
Weight Statistics January 1, 2008 Start Date:
January 11, 2008 Surgery Date:
5' 7"
Height:
339 lb Start Weight:
145 lb Current Weight:
149 lb Goal Weight:
194 lb Weight Loss:
-4 lb Lb Left to Lose:
57.2271386431 % % Lost:
July 4, 2009 FIREWORKS, BABY! Goal Date:
Body Mass Index53.0891067053 BMI Start:
22.7077300067 BMI Current:
23.3341501448 BMI Goal:
Weight Loss MethodRoux en Y Gastric Bypass
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I am so sorry you are both going through this. I know that I have begun to realize that this journey I am going through is also hard on my husband, and he is going through it in his way too. I pray for peace in your family and that you all are well.
__________________ KB
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01-13-2009, 07:44 PM
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#15 (permalink)
| | Seasoned Veteran
Join Date: Dec 2007 Location: Buffalo, NY
Posts: 2,573
Weight Statistics 12-19-07 Start Date:
1-29-08 Surgery Date:
5' 3"
Height:
286 lb Start Weight:
165 lb Current Weight:
150 lb Goal Weight:
121 lb Weight Loss:
15 lb Lb Left to Lose:
42.3076923077 % % Lost:
eventually Goal Date:
Body Mass Index50.6570924666 BMI Start:
29.2252456538 BMI Current:
26.5684051398 BMI Goal:
Weight Loss MethodRoux en Y Gastric Bypass
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I'm so sorry that this has happened to you guys. Sometimes our emotional problems/needs are stronger than our physical ones, but we only see the physical so we try to fix that first. I pray for you and your family and hope you guys can work out what's best for you as a couple and/or as a family.
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01-13-2009, 09:20 PM
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#16 (permalink)
| | Super Moderator
Join Date: Nov 2005 Location: Tokyo, Japan
Posts: 24,786
5' 5"
Height:
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I am sorry that both of you are suffering from this.
I totally agree with LisaMarie, whatever your final decision is, get a good counselor, work it out, and be honest with your children as well. With what you have, I do think it's worth giving things a try with professional help. Even if you decide to part in the end, it should help give you both directions that will enable you to build good productive lives in the future.
((((((HUGS)))))) Keeping you both and your family in my prayers.
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01-14-2009, 07:37 AM
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#17 (permalink)
| | Seasoned Veteran
Join Date: Jun 2007 Location: North Texas
Posts: 5,236
Weight Statistics I've lost/gained my whole life!!! Start Date:
Aug 1, 2007 Surgery Date:
5' 8"
Height:
280 lb Start Weight:
154 lb Current Weight:
150 lb Goal Weight:
126 lb Weight Loss:
4 lb Lb Left to Lose:
45 % % Lost:
Summer 2008 Goal Date:
Body Mass Index42.5692041522 BMI Start:
23.4130622837 BMI Current:
22.8049307958 BMI Goal:
Weight Loss MethodRoux en Y Gastric Bypass
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praying for you.......
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01-14-2009, 09:14 AM
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#18 (permalink)
| | Seasoned Veteran
Join Date: Apr 2006 Location: Kuwait
Posts: 2,688
Weight Statistics for ever! Start Date:
4/18/06 Surgery Date:
5' 4"
Height:
353 lb Start Weight:
163 lb Current Weight:
154 lb Goal Weight:
190 lb Weight Loss:
9 lb Lb Left to Lose:
53.8243626062 % % Lost:
9/18/07 Goal Date:
Body Mass Index60.5856933594 BMI Start:
27.9758300781 BMI Current:
26.4311523438 BMI Goal:
Weight Loss MethodRoux en Y Gastric Bypass
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Ohhh wow first of all, this is very courageous of you both to post this on the forum. and second I'm really speechless and I can feel both of you pain!
It's really difficult this roller coaster emotinal game that we all go during this journey. We have always been unwanted and not attractive, getting under the spot is very overwhelming and confusing experience! I'm having the same difficulty especially at work where all my cowrkers and boss are men. Ladies the looks and the flirty compliments are so emotional monopulative and we all desire to hear more.
It's strange they sound sweeter when they come from outside home (DH) we as new women feel after this huge wgt loss and as we aged through this journey like that ohhh we're still hot and sexy!
I'm so sorry for both of you, I agree like the others you may need a prefessional help. You're family is in my good thoughts and prayers.
I'm sorry
Love,
Hanadi
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01-14-2009, 01:56 PM
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#19 (permalink)
| | Seasoned Veteran
Join Date: Aug 2008 Location: DEPTFORD NJ
Posts: 1,773
Weight Statistics Pre-Operation. Start Date:
oct 21st 2008 Surgery Date:
5' 4"
Height:
278 lb Start Weight:
149 lb Current Weight:
150 lb Goal Weight:
129 lb Weight Loss:
-1 lb Lb Left to Lose:
46.4028776978 % % Lost:
2010 Goal Date:
Body Mass Index47.7133789062 BMI Start:
25.5729980469 BMI Current:
25.7446289062 BMI Goal:
Weight Loss MethodAitkens
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i am sorry for you both i will pray for you and your family i wish you both the best no matter what happens
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01-14-2009, 01:59 PM
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#20 (permalink)
| | WLS Guru
Join Date: Jan 2008 Location: Michigan
Posts: 428
Weight Statistics January 8, 2008 Start Date:
February 21, 2008 Surgery Date:
5' 7"
Height:
253 lb Start Weight:
122 lb Current Weight:
135 lb Goal Weight:
131 lb Weight Loss:
-13 lb Lb Left to Lose:
51.7786561265 % % Lost:
April, 2009 Goal Date:
Body Mass Index39.6210737358 BMI Start:
19.1058142125 BMI Current:
21.1416796614 BMI Goal:
Weight Loss MethodRoux en Y Gastric Bypass
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Thank you for all your support. This was a very embarassing post for me and I was unaware that my DH had posted this, but I thought in the end that maybe for those who are feeling a bit lost with themself may benefit from my tragedy.
__________________ Tami  | |
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