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01-26-2009, 08:01 PM
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#1 (permalink)
| | Whipper Snapper
Join Date: Jan 2009 Location: Upstate,NY
Posts: 10
Weight Statistics
5' 5"
Height:
256 lb Start Weight:
251 lb Current Weight:
135 lb Goal Weight:
5 lb Weight Loss:
116 lb Lb Left to Lose:
1.953125 % % Lost:
Body Mass Index42.5959763314 BMI Start:
41.7640236686 BMI Current:
22.4627218935 BMI Goal:
|  Boyfriend getting werid already
Ive been talking about getting WLS for awhile now. But just recently my boyfriend has been getting all werid on me about me saying things like
" are you still going to love me"
"are you still going to want to be with me"
I keep telling him not to worry, and to just support me in my decsion. But it seems likes hes becoming alittle jelouas already. I truly love him, and want to be with him. Hes been with me two years already through thick and thin. But him getting all werid on me already in just the beginning is kinda freaking me out alittle and kinda getting alittle annoying. I dont know what to do or say?
Has anyone been through this before? What do I say or do?
__________________
If you want to get somewhere you have to know where you want to go and how to get there. Then never, never, never, give up. | 
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01-26-2009, 08:39 PM
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#2 (permalink)
| | Seasoned Veteran
Join Date: Jan 2008 Location: Troy,ny
Posts: 2,799
Weight Statistics Since birth:) Start Date:
August 5, 2009 Surgery Date:
5' 6"
Height:
319 lb Start Weight:
189 lb Current Weight:
150 lb Goal Weight:
130 lb Weight Loss:
39 lb Lb Left to Lose:
40.7523510972 % % Lost:
sometime in 2010 Goal Date:
Body Mass Index51.4823232323 BMI Start:
30.5020661157 BMI Current:
24.2079889807 BMI Goal:
Weight Loss MethodRoux en Y Gastric Bypass
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I haven't had surgery but the others on here hav talked about their husbands getting jealous. You have to just reassure him that you have been with him this long why would weight loss change how you feel? It is very much a mental trip for all involved so although it may get annoying you have to just be there for him as much as you want him to be there for you.
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01-27-2009, 01:09 AM
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#3 (permalink)
| | Big Loser
Join Date: Aug 2008 Location: Hawaii
Posts: 111
Weight Statistics July 14, 2008 Surgery Date:
5' "
Height:
230 lb Start Weight:
111 lb Current Weight:
130 lb Goal Weight:
119 lb Weight Loss:
-19 lb Lb Left to Lose:
51.7391304348 % % Lost:
July 14, 2009 Goal Date:
Body Mass Index44.9138888889 BMI Start:
21.6758333333 BMI Current:
25.3861111111 BMI Goal:
Weight Loss MethodRoux en Y Gastric Bypass
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I sympathize with you...yes, weight loss can create a "green eye of insecurities". I once read from another post that Divorce and separations are a common occurance after WLS. The more secure you are in your relationship...the better chance of you surviving this backlash.
my best wishes for your personal success!!!
kawahine
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01-27-2009, 03:39 AM
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#4 (permalink)
| | Super Moderator
Join Date: Nov 2005 Location: Tokyo, Japan
Posts: 23,801
5' 5"
Height:
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The best thing you can do is to keep talking to him and reassure him.
Keep telling him that it is for your health, and you want to be able to be with him for a long time to come, rather than being knocked out too soon.
Good luck.
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01-27-2009, 08:11 AM
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#5 (permalink)
| | Seasoned Veteran
Join Date: Oct 2007 Location: North West, NJ
Posts: 2,706
Weight Statistics 1/14/2008 Surgery Date:
5' 10"
Height:
330 lb Start Weight:
228 lb Current Weight:
180 lb Goal Weight:
102 lb Weight Loss:
48 lb Lb Left to Lose:
30.9090909091 % % Lost:
Summer 09 Goal Date:
Body Mass Index47.3448979592 BMI Start:
32.7110204082 BMI Current:
25.8244897959 BMI Goal:
Weight Loss MethodRoux en Y Gastric Bypass
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Yes, talk and reasure him. It most likely will be ok. But at the end of the day - don't let anyone make you second guess yourself. Good luck!
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02-03-2009, 04:42 PM
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#6 (permalink)
| | WLS Mentor
Join Date: Aug 2007 Location: PA (Near Philly)
Posts: 1,123
Weight Statistics March 12, 2008 Surgery Date:
5' 6"
Height:
340 lb Start Weight:
239 lb Current Weight:
150 lb Goal Weight:
101 lb Weight Loss:
89 lb Lb Left to Lose:
29.7058823529 % % Lost:
Body Mass Index54.8714416896 BMI Start:
38.5713957759 BMI Current:
24.2079889807 BMI Goal:
Weight Loss MethodRoux en Y Gastric Bypass
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I agree keep telling him you love him and want to be with him and you are doing this so you can be with him longer. And also let him know that he has been with you through thick and thin and how much you appreciate it. A good one too is " Honey, I dont know what I would do without you" My hubby knew how bad my health was and he stood behind me on this. But I was a body builder when we met..lol So I guess he has been with me already through thick and thin..lol. I was worried he wouldn't stay with me being so heavy and he used to say a simple "What part of I am not going anywhere and I Love you forever do you not understand" Hay perhaps you can tell your BF that one too becaues let me tell you when someone looks you right in the eye and says that it is very comforting.
__________________  Pain is only temporary but quitting is forever
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02-03-2009, 10:29 PM
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#7 (permalink)
| | Big Loser
Join Date: Feb 2009 Location: Louisburg, NC
Posts: 150
Weight Statistics January 27, 2009 Start Date:
2/11/2009 Surgery Date:
5' 6"
Height:
283 lb Start Weight:
201 lb Current Weight:
176 lb Goal Weight:
82 lb Weight Loss:
25 lb Lb Left to Lose:
28.9752650177 % % Lost:
May 1, 2012 Goal Date:
Body Mass Index45.672405877 BMI Start:
32.4387052342 BMI Current:
28.404040404 BMI Goal:
Weight Loss MethodRoux en Y Gastric Bypass
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I feel you. I tell my fiance that I can show him better than I can tell him. I believe it's normal for your partner to get jealous but I just try to reassure him that I love him and that I'm doing the surgery to improve my health not to find another man. He often says I'm going to leave him and find somebody else and I have told him many times that if I wasn't happy I'd be gone already, and that I'm beautiful inside and out regardless of my weight. What I found that has been working is including him in the process. He comes to my doctors appointments and even sat in at my pre op appointment all freakin day, and now he's excited. Still nervouse about the risks and stuff, but he's been getting an education and sees now that I am doing it for my health. After listening to other people at my pre op, he see's that being this heavy is hard on me, my knees hurt, I'm always tired, I get out of breath easy, and it's not good. So be patient, reassure him, and include him. Hope this helps.
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