[Jason_NorthCarolina]

Hello everyone,

Everyone on this forum seems so nice, so I hope I can get a good answer to help me. My mom is 6 weeks post-op. She has some good days, as well as bad, but she says she has no pain. Most of what she is dealing with is emotional stress and depression, i.e., questioning why she did it, she should have made a different decision, when will she feel normal, she doesn't think she can make it. I have found that these thoughts are normal for this type of surgery, right? What can we as a family do to help her and what can I say to reassure her that it will get better? Any feelings or advice you could give me would be great.

Thanks in advance

Jason

[not quite Barbie]

For starters, I would love to see her join this site. We have a lot of nice people here who help each other through the tough times.

It sounds like she needs a lot of emotional support right now. Did her surgeon require her to have a psych evaluation before the surgery? If so, find out that doctor's name and get her in to see the psychiatrist. If this isn't an option, does her surgeon have a support group? Get her to go to the support group meeting.

She needs to talk to others who have been through this and can offer her support through this period. The first several months are really hard. You can't seem to find any foods that don't cause problems, you can't eat much of the ones that don't cause problems, you are missing the comfort of your best friend food. It will help her if she can hear that others are going through this too, and that it WILL pass, and it WILL get better.

It gets better after a few months when you start to see the weight come off and you've started figuring out the food situation. But it is also a life change - she's got to accept that things are always going to be different, that she can't eat like she used to.

I hope she can find the help she needs. Poor thing!

[whizzersmom]

Jason first of all what a wonderful son you are to do this to help your Mom. Congratulations on being a good son and finding us. Get her to join this site, she will find so much support and friendship here to help her through the tough times. Also get her to join a support group. I did and I haven't had surgery yet it is so helpful with all the ? you have and everyone is there for the same reason support and friendship. As far as the support group goes family and friends are encouraged to attend too. Good luck and give your Mom a big and a big

[clancythecamper]

She must be a good mom coz she's got a great son! Let her know you found this site and we want to meet her!!! This site has been priceless when it comes to help thru problems, the emotional ride, answering questions that arise at 2am, you know, just the usual stuff The things you mention are not unusual and your and your family's support will be crucial to helping her get thru this time successfully ~ Barb's advice about getting her in touch with someone for depression and also the support group is right on

[Christy0283]

Jason, what a wonderful son you are to be trying to find answers that your mom needs to help her. I suggest you letting her know you found this site and encourage her to join us here. There are a lot of wonderful people here that give her lots of encouragement, advice, hugs, and anything else she may be needing.

[Jason_NorthCarolina]

Thanks for all the great advice everyone. I just ordered my mom her own laptop so she can be a part of this site and talk to people. Her support group only meets once a month, which I find interesting, but with the laptop she can join this great community and talk to people who can help her through it. I appreciate all of your kind words.

Jason

[Janice Carol]

Jason,
Let her know it does get better. I too had those same feeling after surgery. It took about 2 months to get over it. Also my regular doctor put me on anti depression medication until I started feeling like myself again. It helped alot. But the best thing for me was to be a member of this web site. It is like a 24 hour 7 day a week support group. These people have been like family to me and have helped me out countless times. It helps to talk to people who have been there and done that. I hope she will join us. By the way you are an amazing son for caring enough and taking the time to get her some help. She is blessed to have you.

[GinaGurl]

jason you are a great son tell your mom to come and join us and we are all here for her

[kitty56]

Jason, you are a great son to help out your mom like this. I hope your mom joins us and we can be a huge help to her. This place here has been a lifesaver for me. I think everyone has feelings of some kind or another. It is life changing for us and this place has givin me the strength that I need to go on. I am so hooked on this site and the support is just so wonderful and the people here are so great and they are just like a second family to me. If someone is hurt or feels sad, I can feel their hurt or sadness too. I have had many tears reading peoples posts, some sad and so many happy posts. I think at one point in our journey we all felt, why did we do this, but I wouldn't change a thing and would do it over in a heart beat, I got my life back again, becasue I was really bad off already before surgery. I thank God everyday for giving me a new life and a wonderful life at that. Life is just so Grand!!!!!!

[ksummer19]

What a great guy you are.

My finance, found this site for me about 3 weeks after my surgery. I wasn't doing so hot and he just didn't know what else to do or say for me. Support of any kind is very important right now. We will be here to encourage her. Like Barb says the first 2 - 3 months is the toughest.

Give her a big hug from us.