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04-20-2009, 08:55 PM
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#1 (permalink)
| | WLS Guru
Join Date: Dec 2008 Location: close to Toronto
Posts: 497
Weight Statistics November 21, 2008 Start Date:
November 21st, 2008 Surgery Date:
5' 6"
Height:
265 lb Start Weight:
149 lb Current Weight:
150 lb Goal Weight:
116 lb Weight Loss:
-1 lb Lb Left to Lose:
43.7735849057 % % Lost:
no hurry Goal Date:
Body Mass Index42.7674471993 BMI Start:
24.0466023875 BMI Current:
24.2079889807 BMI Goal:
Weight Loss MethodRoux en Y Gastric Bypass
 |  i too am livid
Mind you no one was robbed...but my family and only support network i have for my daughter are ASSAULTING HER WITH FOOD!!! Who takes her to the pediatrician and gets lambasted? ME!!! Who doesnt want her to have the obese childhood I had! ME!!! Shes well on her way..and i DIDNT DO IT!!! I rant rave and cry and stomp about it all the time.
I work, i go to school. She spends time at my mothers (who can not say NO EVER), and the neighbours that look after her for me all the time. A
lso their daughter is her best friend (the only obese one in the family) give her "goodies" ALL THE TIME. They know i dont. Id like to, but everyone else does so i have to be the mean one. They hauled me outside one day and asked quite nicely "when do you let charlotte have "snackies"? I said.. i do all the time...i make all the kids fruit and veggie platters....she then said "NO NO NO. Like REAL "snackies" candy, cupcakes, cookies...." Then she went on to explain to me (cuz she is NEVER wrong) how kids should have all the candy they want , cuz they are kids and its the time of your life to eat it.As much as i have tried to explain to them my frustration and concern...people are sabotaging my daughter at every turn. EVERY TURN!!! White bread, she never had that between birth and 5. She will reluctantly eat it when i MAKE her now. She used to LOVE salad... now she freaks out. She never had kraft dinner... now she asks for it.
" i see stupid people and they dont even know they are stupid" (slightly altered quote from sixth sense)
She was at moms cuz i had to go shopping and i had a minute to do it.. mom said she would feed her dinner..she gave her a PB sandwich... so NOW at bedtime ..shes hungry. Im pist.
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04-20-2009, 10:54 PM
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#2 (permalink)
| | Seasoned Veteran
Join Date: Jun 2007 Location: Tampa, FL
Posts: 3,605
Weight Statistics July 10, 2007 Surgery Date:
5' 6"
Height:
271 lb Start Weight:
175 lb Current Weight:
182 lb Goal Weight:
96 lb Weight Loss:
-7 lb Lb Left to Lose:
35.4243542435 % % Lost:
Body Mass Index43.7357667585 BMI Start:
28.2426538108 BMI Current:
29.3723599633 BMI Goal:
Weight Loss MethodRoux en Y Gastric Bypass
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I feel your pain. I worry about my guys too, even though they're older. Just offer her healthy choices and don't make too big a deal out of it or it'll skew her view of food. Sometimes it's tough to be the one that makes the hard choices but we just gotta do it. Tell your nosey neighbor to mind her own business.
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04-21-2009, 03:43 AM
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#3 (permalink)
| | Super Moderator
Join Date: Nov 2005 Location: Tokyo, Japan
Posts: 23,801
5' 5"
Height:
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Quote:
Originally Posted by stylindi  ....she then said "NO NO NO. Like REAL "snackies" candy, cupcakes, cookies...." Then she went on to explain to me (cuz she is NEVER wrong) how kids should have all the candy they want , cuz they are kids and its the time of your life to eat it. | Oh, my, that is a very very poor conception of nutrition if I ever heard one   Your neighbor's the one who should be lambasted by your pediatrician, next time, make sure you drag your neighbor along with you.
Never give kids what is NOT good for the body, and never make food a reward.
When my kids were small, I never gave them carbonated drinks--told them, they were still too *hot* for their palate, so you have to wait until you are a little older. When they were in school, I let them have some, but the adventure ended with "Yuck, this sucks" and to this day (they are both past 30) they seldome touch the stuff. In fact, the only bubblies regularly in our home is hubby's couple of cans of beer 
It is very hard when people don't understand, but for your children's sake, you need to put your foot down, somewhere along the line.
Good luck and lots of (((((((HUGS)))))) for being the best mom you can be.  | |
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04-21-2009, 08:06 AM
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#4 (permalink)
| | Seasoned Veteran
Join Date: Apr 2007 Location: Central Virginia
Posts: 2,835
Weight Statistics 4/30/2007 Start Date:
9/5/07 Surgery Date:
5' 4"
Height:
233 lb Start Weight:
127 lb Current Weight:
135 lb Goal Weight:
106 lb Weight Loss:
-8 lb Lb Left to Lose:
45.4935622318 % % Lost:
Nov 2008 Goal Date:
Body Mass Index39.9899902344 BMI Start:
21.7971191406 BMI Current:
23.1701660156 BMI Goal:
Weight Loss MethodRoux en Y Gastric Bypass
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One of the things that has helped me most on this journey is "remembering what my mother taught me to eat". Somewhere along the way I forgot what nutritious food is and started eating nothing but fat and junk. But my mother HAD taught me how to eat right, and it all came back to me as I started this journey.
You are right, your job as a mother is to teach your child what is right. It's too bad so many people are undermining your efforts. And your neighbor really needs to butt out!
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Highest 233, Lowest 122, Current 127
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04-21-2009, 08:30 AM
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#5 (permalink)
| | Seasoned Veteran
Join Date: Jan 2008 Location: Troy,ny
Posts: 2,799
Weight Statistics Since birth:) Start Date:
August 5, 2009 Surgery Date:
5' 6"
Height:
319 lb Start Weight:
189 lb Current Weight:
150 lb Goal Weight:
130 lb Weight Loss:
39 lb Lb Left to Lose:
40.7523510972 % % Lost:
sometime in 2010 Goal Date:
Body Mass Index51.4823232323 BMI Start:
30.5020661157 BMI Current:
24.2079889807 BMI Goal:
Weight Loss MethodRoux en Y Gastric Bypass
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I am sorry that this is happening. I know your pain.....My children are not obese but neither was I as a child. I never alow my kids to have soda but now they have it almost everday cause my brother seems to think that it doesn't matter. He watches them when I go to work.....nutrition is not in his vocab. My husband who left me a few months ago trys to "make them feel better" by buying them Mcdonald's at least twice a week and that doesn't include the weekly pizza either. IT MAKES ME SO ANGRY!!!! I have a neice who is only 9 years old and weighs 170lbs! That is more than my 57 year old mother weighs. STAND YOUR GROUND!!! These people have to be held accountable. Who is going to be there when she is crying her eyes out cause nothing fits and she has to go to plus size store while all classmates get to wear trendy clothes?! Certainly not those people with the snackies.
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04-22-2009, 02:05 AM
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#6 (permalink)
| | Seasoned Veteran
Join Date: Jan 2007 Location: Smiths Station Alabama
Posts: 4,363
Weight Statistics 07/23/2007 Start Date:
July 23, 2007 Surgery Date:
5' 2"
Height:
230 lb Start Weight:
130 lb Current Weight:
125 lb Goal Weight:
100 lb Weight Loss:
5 lb Lb Left to Lose:
43.4782608696 % % Lost:
June 23 2008 Goal Date:
Body Mass Index42.0629552549 BMI Start:
23.7747138398 BMI Current:
22.860301769 BMI Goal:
Weight Loss MethodRoux en Y Gastric Bypass
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I can relate to your troubles, I too have that problem with the in laws. I dont allow my kids soda pop or candy unless its a real treat wich is rare, when we go over there they let them have it all, if I am there I will take it and trash it, I tell them when they can and cant have it and thats that, I seem mean but I'll e damned if I will let them sabatoge all my hard work.
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04-22-2009, 10:20 AM
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#7 (permalink)
| | WLS Guru
Join Date: Dec 2008 Location: close to Toronto
Posts: 497
Weight Statistics November 21, 2008 Start Date:
November 21st, 2008 Surgery Date:
5' 6"
Height:
265 lb Start Weight:
149 lb Current Weight:
150 lb Goal Weight:
116 lb Weight Loss:
-1 lb Lb Left to Lose:
43.7735849057 % % Lost:
no hurry Goal Date:
Body Mass Index42.7674471993 BMI Start:
24.0466023875 BMI Current:
24.2079889807 BMI Goal:
Weight Loss MethodRoux en Y Gastric Bypass
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Oh i did that... i took a ring pop right off her finger and trashed it, and my heart at the same time...oh the looks of death i got!!! Shes sobbin and im yellin.."ITS CUZ I LOVE YOU"..."they are the mean ones for trying to kill you"...omg...someone should have a camera on us all the time...i got my parenting lessons from Roseanne Barr.
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04-22-2009, 11:02 AM
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#8 (permalink)
| | Big Loser
Join Date: Dec 2008 Location: new brunswick, canada
Posts: 133
Weight Statistics February 18, 2009 Surgery Date:
5' 3"
Height:
304 lb Start Weight:
174 lb Current Weight:
170 lb Goal Weight:
130 lb Weight Loss:
4 lb Lb Left to Lose:
42.7631578947 % % Lost:
July 1, 2010 Goal Date:
Body Mass Index53.8453010834 BMI Start:
30.8193499622 BMI Current:
30.1108591585 BMI Goal:
Weight Loss MethodRoux en Y Gastric Bypass
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Children learn what they live. They turn out as they are raised at home. If you eat right, so will she. Regardless who gives her what. You are the person who most influences you child.
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04-23-2009, 04:41 PM
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#9 (permalink)
| | Guru In Training
Join Date: Oct 2008
Posts: 306
1983 Start Date:
09/10/2008 Surgery Date:
5' 4"
Height:
246 lb Current Weight:
170 lb Goal Weight:
-246 lb Weight Loss:
76 lb Lb Left to Lose:
42.2211914062 BMI Current:
29.1772460938 BMI Goal:
Weight Loss MethodRoux en Y Gastric Bypass
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I don't have the answer for you situation, but it really made me think about my youth and my daughter. As I lose pounds I see my daughter (now 28) struggling with her weight. It brings tears to my eyes.
Remind your family and neighbor that you are your daughter's mother and you have struggled with weight for too long. Explain to them that weight issues are hereditary and, most likely, your daughter will struggle as you did unless something changes.
Advise them that It would hurt everyone more to see your daughter struggle in years to come. Suggest that your Ex get them in some other "reward" program other than food. *go to the movies, visit the YMCA, collect stamps, walk in the park... etc.
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04-23-2009, 07:33 PM
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#10 (permalink)
| | WLS Mentor
Join Date: Aug 2007 Location: PA (Near Philly)
Posts: 1,123
Weight Statistics March 12, 2008 Surgery Date:
5' 6"
Height:
340 lb Start Weight:
239 lb Current Weight:
150 lb Goal Weight:
101 lb Weight Loss:
89 lb Lb Left to Lose:
29.7058823529 % % Lost:
Body Mass Index54.8714416896 BMI Start:
38.5713957759 BMI Current:
24.2079889807 BMI Goal:
Weight Loss MethodRoux en Y Gastric Bypass
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Stand your ground and next time they give you the candy speech ask them if they are on crack..lol.. It has taken years to stop or at least slow down my mother telling the grandchildren they can eat what they want. And buying crap at the store. My brother and I get so mad we were both given candy and crap all our lives as treats. I think that is the old way of thinking about candy but that was back when it was not something you had money for all the time. Now well its every where. If need be get your Doctor to give you a letter of the proper nutrition for a child of that age and pass it to all concerned. That way you have the Doc in your corner..
__________________  Pain is only temporary but quitting is forever
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