[MilwifeAshes]

im really just venting right now. Im so mad I could spit. Number One What was supposed to be a good relaxing day was shot to hell. I was rushing around.. as usual.. put my wallet on top of the car.. forgot it.. now its lost.. dont know what happened to it. sigh..

number two my mother in law is driving me up the freaking wall. I really want to punch her. .. back story here.. my husband was gone overseas when i had my son.. so my mother and his mother were in the delivery room. when he was readmitted to the hosp for biliruben i invited her to come up and watch him with my mom. I had MAJOR depression with my son. I wanted to leave and leave him with my mom or his mom i felt like i was screwing everything up.. it was a mess.. one day talking to her i turned down her offer to take him for the night, because he was going to the doctors the next day, cuz she lived 1 1/2 away. But when my husbands aunt offered later on in the evening when i talked to her.. i accepted. Cuz she was just going to watch him for a while before the doctors appointment.. so yay i thought.. time to relaxe before the doctor.. no.. i get nasty calles from my mother in law and nasty emails.. calling me ungrateful and a bitch and how i ruined her son's life.. all this crap that HEY a depressed person doesn't want to hear..
i cried and then i got angry.. and i told her i dont want to talk to her again untill she appologises.

And come to find out.. she is STILL trying to turn my husband against me.. sending him emails, cuz i blocked her on mine..
that whore. im really sick of her married 5 times, with who knows how many man, drunk but now sober cuz she FOUND god arse.

OMFG im pist beyond reason. Im usually pretty nice.. usually nothing can get under my skin.. except myself. im hard on myself not others.. and this trailer trash.. no.. trailer trash is too good for her.. this omg hypocrite is telling my husband lies.. things i never said..
i haven't even talked to her in months.. and she is saying crap about me to him and others.

She says im a control freak and my husbands grandfather when wrote me was really cautious like i was going to bite his head off for asking me if he could see him one day.. ofc not.. i welcome anyone.. omg im just.. /GROWL..

[judijo]

OK. feel better now?

Funny...well not really, but that is what we say, huh?... Funny thing. In the religion that I am closest to, noone gets married without the express consent of all living parents. This encourages the couple to learn about potential inlaws and for the inlaws to learn about each other before the marriage begins.

Your husband is deployed, yes? This puts crazy stress on everyone involved. If he is stateside, then he should be handling his mommy...so you can care for what needs to be handled before your surgery and so you can do your pre-op mommy jobs.

I really would like to see what the military and vets wives say to offer their insights as to how to handle MIL while hub is overseas. I think hub is better off not hearing about all this while he is in harm's way. He has enough to focus upon.

I know you would never, but outside this group, I am guessing name calling and referring to her own marriage situation would be "low blows" and I always encourage those I encounter to step back and "be the bigger person", at least for the particular situation. She is your husband's mommy and love her or hate her, she is a part of your life forever. Someone has to take the higher ground here.

I wish all involved peace. really I do.

As always, this is my two cents and your mileage may vary.

[MilwifeAshes]

Oh I agree with you. Name calling is a low blow. That is why I've never said anything to her like that. But I really did need to just get it out. Just saying it made me feel SO much better.

What makes me angry is that it WAS between us. I fight my own battles. I call my husband "the swiss" cuz he he never knows what the hell is going on and he is always the neutral ground. But she just had to go crying to him.

When I told her she wasn't going to see us, my son and I, till she appologizes she got all huffy and said that she would see him and her son would see to it that she knew her grandson. When I told her not to bother him about it and I told her he would back me. Which I just talked to him. He says what I say. Apologies are needed to be tendered to me or hell will freeze over before she can see us again.
She gets huffy about it.

And btw, before this whole incident, I LOVED her and she loved me. We always talked, I always set up birthday dinners with her and weekly visits. My husband, though a loving son, tends to forget that ppl like to see him. We never had a problem till I had my son. Calling me a control freak and talking behind my back to ppl we know, trying to scque there veiw of me was the lower blow.

It just really pisses me off, she SAYS she is a christian and is moral. But where are those morals right now, huh? Where is that loving, kind, understanding when I was going through a VERY rough time. I explained to her why I didn't accept her invitation to take him, it was simple, she is far away and I had something for my son, HER grandson to do. A doctor visit for godsakes. (for pooping.. he has always had a hard time pooping) And I got the flack for it. I get called a control freak and other less savory names, but in a way yes I did control the situation, but its my son. I chose what I think is more important for him. And the doctor won out. I didn't want to miss it, cuz ugh.. referrals take forever sometimes and reschedually is always a pain in the butt.

/shrugs maybe I am controlling, but not to the extent that I dont let ppl take him. This is my first child and yes.. i give myself ulcers worring about him. But I really think Im not that horrible about it. I actually enjoy ppl taking him. Its not like I have my husband here, its great to get even a few minutes to myself.
sigh..

[MilwifeAshes]

as a side note kinda.. i really did like her better when she drank.. ever since she "found god" omg.. she has been up everyones butt. Even her current husband's. Who now wants a divorce because she is so annoying anymore. lol he actually just emailed me and said he was sorry and that he wishes me and shaun the best, and to keep in touch but he just can't take her "hypocritical butt" anymore ( is subbed the butt in.. it was something eles..).
And I tried to be there and stick it out. But like other ppl, even her sister, I can't do it. I just dont have the time or energy for her. This forum was my only avenue at the moment where I could unload, and not bug my husband.

Cuz like you said, he is in harms way, and I really just dont want him distracted. Distractions are fatal. That is why I haven't told him much about the sugery or what it entailes, or even that Im having it now. He knows I was approved for it. But I'll wait till after this is all done and Im post a few weeks before I say anything.

He usually is happier when I just do it, get it done, then tell him anyways. He is like me.. a worrier.

This is my way of dealing with her. Venting in a neutral place, it allowed me to just let it out, get out the poisons so to speak and now, its all good.

[DocSanae]

Aww (((((HUGS))))))

[MsVickie]

First of all let me start by saying im sorry your going through this right now. Its not needed. Im sure alot of the emotions of you having this surgery are part of game right now considering your hubby is not home. If she knows you having this surgery im sure she is wondering how your gonna take care of the baby until your healed enough to do that on your own. From a outsiders point...... she maybe wanting to help without asking to.

You need to vent from time to time that is very true. I bet your like me and let it build up. Its a bad thing. Take care of it when it happens and life is so much easier to deal with. That is a goal in it self however to achieve. Trust me ....... I still catch myself doing it.

I agree on Judi Jos comment on your hubby. Him being deployed and having to deal with this to is a burden in itself. Its not like keeping him in the dark...... its somthing you have to do to keep him safe. Their will be plenty of time later for this.

You know as a mom of only one child and him being a son.....its always scared me since birth....yes im a worrier.........that he would meet some chic and marry and I wouldnt never see my grandchild either. Daughters have there Moms to go to most of the time and the mother in law is almost like the other woman. I still have to deal with this whenever it happens. I pray to GOD it will never be that way.

Does she know your having surgery? This may be part of it. Take care honey and I hope things get much better for you.
On the wallet part of things..... you sound like me on that one to. I have been blessed every time I loose mine. I like leaving them in checkout lines or on the top of my car. I leave my phone number visable in a place when you open it so I could get a call on it if I dont miss it first. Im talking several times now in the last couple years. LOL. Utilize the military counceling when ever you can. Im sure there are other moms with hubbys being gone that have went or are going though tough times such as yourself. I hope Becka sees this post........she is a mom with 3 kids whom had a hubby deployed in Iraq while she had surgery. She can help alot I think. Take care....and remember to breath.

[judijo]

Originally Posted by MilwifeAshes

as a side note kinda.. i really did like her better when she drank.. ever since she "found god" omg.. she has been up everyones butt. Even her current husband's. Who now wants a divorce because she is so annoying anymore.

LOL! How many of us have been accused of being bitchy or similar after we have had this surgery and our feelings are out there in the open, healing without food to comfort us or shut us up. This board is full of comments like that. "sobriety" from alcohol or food can be very similar.