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05-11-2009, 10:18 PM
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#1 (permalink)
| | Seasoned Veteran
Join Date: Apr 2009 Location: North Dakota..ya sure, u betcha!
Posts: 1,709
Weight Statistics Which time? Start Date:
July 24, 2009 Surgery Date:
4' 11"
Height:
213 lb Start Weight:
108 lb Current Weight:
120 lb Goal Weight:
105 lb Weight Loss:
-12 lb Lb Left to Lose:
49.2957746479 % % Lost:
Whenever.... Goal Date:
Body Mass Index43.0160873312 BMI Start:
21.8109738581 BMI Current:
24.2344153979 BMI Goal:
Weight Loss MethodRoux en Y Gastric Bypass
 |  My DH thinks surgery is the "lazy" way out
I am in the process of getting approved and having all the prelim stuff done. My husband thinks it is plain old stupid. He says I should just "lose" the weight. He, of all people has seen me struggle all these years. I still feel strongly that this could be a good option for me, but won't get any help at home from him. Any suggestions?
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05-11-2009, 10:28 PM
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#2 (permalink)
| | WLS Master Guru
Join Date: Jan 2009
Posts: 970
Weight Statistics All of my life! Start Date:
12/01/08 Surgery Date:
5' 6"
Height:
309 lb Start Weight:
138 lb Current Weight:
170 lb Goal Weight:
171 lb Weight Loss:
-32 lb Lb Left to Lose:
55.3398058252 % % Lost:
Original 12/09 Actual 09/09 Goal Date:
Body Mass Index49.8684573003 BMI Start:
22.2713498623 BMI Current:
27.4357208448 BMI Goal:
Weight Loss MethodRoux en Y Gastric Bypass
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It might be that he scared. Many of my family members including my husband tried to talk me out of it. My DH even offered to buy me a brand new car at the last minute. I had many (actually tons) honest discussions with DH. I help educate him. Made sure I scheduled (if all possible) all of my appointments so he could go with me. It was hard for my DH to understand why I could not just do it on my own. I told him I needed help, a tool to help me be successful. Once my DH met my surgeon he was won over. But like I said on the onset my DH was scared he was going to lose me during and or after surgery because of complications. I was in and out in an hour and home in less then two days. This is the toughest thing I have ever had to do in my entire life. And it will continue to be so ... as I will always have to fight against my urges. Food is tough for some people and for those who have no problem with it .. they simply do not understand how hard it is for us and our struggle. My family now is changed their tune since my surgery and my success.
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05-11-2009, 10:45 PM
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#3 (permalink)
| | Seasoned Veteran
Join Date: Jun 2007 Location: Tampa, FL
Posts: 3,605
Weight Statistics July 10, 2007 Surgery Date:
5' 6"
Height:
271 lb Start Weight:
175 lb Current Weight:
182 lb Goal Weight:
96 lb Weight Loss:
-7 lb Lb Left to Lose:
35.4243542435 % % Lost:
Body Mass Index43.7357667585 BMI Start:
28.2426538108 BMI Current:
29.3723599633 BMI Goal:
Weight Loss MethodRoux en Y Gastric Bypass
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No advice here but welcome ~ support is crucial and this board is some of the best anywhere!
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05-12-2009, 12:04 AM
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#4 (permalink)
| | Seasoned Veteran
Join Date: May 2008 Location: Just north of Iowa, not far from I-35. 2nd star on the right and straight on 'til morning!
Posts: 8,214
Weight Statistics December 13, 2007 (pre-op liquid diet started) Start Date:
December 27, 2007 Surgery Date:
5' 9"
Height:
280 lb Start Weight:
172 lb Current Weight:
184 lb Goal Weight:
108 lb Weight Loss:
-12 lb Lb Left to Lose:
38.5714285714 % % Lost:
Originally - 12/08. Actually - 8/08. Goal Date:
Body Mass Index41.3442554085 BMI Start:
25.3971854652 BMI Current:
27.1690821256 BMI Goal:
Weight Loss MethodRoux en Y Gastric Bypass
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A) You are not doing this for him - you're doing it for you, so you can live longer and healthier and happier with him.
B) This is the unknown. There are rumors floating around everywhere about the unknown, most of them based on fear. If he thinks this is the "easy" or "lazy" way out, it's obvious he hasn't a clue what he's talking about. He needs to be educated.
My wife was dead set against my doing this when I first brought it up. Just like kitcat's hubby, she thought it was crazy. She felt that way until I took her to one of my appointments, the first time I met with the surgeon himself. She came away, if not enthusiastic, at least accepting of my decision. She has watched me like a hawk to see what changes RNY has made in my life and lifestyle. Evidently she liked what she saw, because she had RNY 9 weeks ago!
This is not the "easy" way out, whatever that means. If there were an easy way out, would we have been fat? No! If there were an "easy" way out, though, why on earth would a person not want us to take it? Is there supposedly a virtue in struggling and failing, time and time again? I don't get it!!
To be successful at this will require total commitment and a lifetime of dedication to doing the right things, every day, until you aren't using oxygen any more and your body reaches room temperature. That's all it takes to do it right! Sound easy? Sure seems a bit more complicated than a NutriSystems commercial! There is no magic cure-all for obesity, but there is an extremely effective tool called WLS that most of us have chosen to use. It is a miraculous change of life, a rebirth!
Do it for you. He'll come around. He has a lot of fear that you'll be "different", that you'll die on the table, that you'll get sexy and gorgeous and leave him. Fear feeds insecurities. If he has 'em, this is where they'll come out. If you two are strong going in, you'll weather it.
Good luck! Stick around and educate yourself so you can teach him. Whatever it is you may think of, someone here has been there and done that, and is eager to share that knowledge with you.
CT
__________________ da perfesser
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Dare to live your dream!!
If you want to be healthy for life, do for life the things that get you healthy!! Living healthy takes work. Dying fat is easy!! "That which we persist in doing becomes easier, not that the nature of the task has changed, but that our capacity to do has increased." - HJ Grant
"Do, or do not. There is no try!" - Yoda
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05-12-2009, 02:47 AM
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#5 (permalink)
| | WLS Master Guru
Join Date: Jan 2009
Posts: 970
Weight Statistics All of my life! Start Date:
12/01/08 Surgery Date:
5' 6"
Height:
309 lb Start Weight:
138 lb Current Weight:
170 lb Goal Weight:
171 lb Weight Loss:
-32 lb Lb Left to Lose:
55.3398058252 % % Lost:
Original 12/09 Actual 09/09 Goal Date:
Body Mass Index49.8684573003 BMI Start:
22.2713498623 BMI Current:
27.4357208448 BMI Goal:
Weight Loss MethodRoux en Y Gastric Bypass
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Well said CT!
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05-12-2009, 03:20 AM
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#6 (permalink)
| | Super Moderator
Join Date: Nov 2005 Location: Tokyo, Japan
Posts: 23,801
5' 5"
Height:
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He is likely scared--may spouses are against surgery because of fear of losing you, in more ways than one. Since you are doing this for yourself and your health, you have the option of leaving him out of everything, since he says it's stupid, or to take him along to your appointments so he has the chance to point blank ask the questions he has directly to the surgeon, and not through you. Firsthand info is very important for the curucial supporter. Meeting the surgeon, meeting others who have had surgery, and getting to know them in person should go a long way in understanding the surgery, and in accepting your choice.
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05-12-2009, 04:15 AM
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#7 (permalink)
| | WLS Master Guru
Join Date: Jan 2009 Location: Birmingham, England
Posts: 830
Weight Statistics Oct 2008 Start Date:
30th January 2009 Surgery Date:
5' 5"
Height:
351 lb Start Weight:
166 lb Current Weight:
168 lb Goal Weight:
185 lb Weight Loss:
-2 lb Lb Left to Lose:
52.7065527066 % % Lost:
Body Mass Index58.4030769231 BMI Start:
27.6208284024 BMI Current:
27.9536094675 BMI Goal:
Weight Loss MethodRoux en Y Gastric Bypass
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Well I would say to anyone, this option is definately not the easiest option to lose weight, it obviously works but it takes a massive change in our mindsets, lifestyles, and definately in the way we eat..... Only you can make the decision, I am sure your DH is worried for you, it is hard for them to sit back and watch the process, but all I would say is to keep talking it though together, you will have big changes ahead, but as I said to my DH its a big adjustment to me too, but Thankfully the weight doesn't come off in one big go, so we decided to hold tight and take the journey together, one step at a time...
Hope it all works out for you guys too
Big Hug
__________________ " THE BEST IS YET TO COME !!!" Keep Within the Boundaries, make the Changes for life and then enjoy the Healthier YOU!!! Love and HUGS Angie xx  | |
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05-12-2009, 06:31 AM
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#8 (permalink)
| | Seasoned Veteran
Join Date: Mar 2007 Location: Floyd County Virginia
Posts: 9,219
Weight Statistics September 19th 2007 Start Date:
September 19th 2007 Surgery Date:
5' 10"
Height:
363 lb Start Weight:
170 lb Current Weight:
170 lb Goal Weight:
193 lb Weight Loss:
53.1680440771 % % Lost:
12/31/09 Goal Date:
Body Mass Index52.0793877551 BMI Start:
24.3897959184 BMI Current:
24.3897959184 BMI Goal:
Weight Loss MethodRoux en Y Gastric Bypass
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I agree with all the above. And i will tell you first hand this is NOT the easy way out.
__________________ Remember Tough times never last Tough people do... This Ribbon is for our Lady Lisa and all the women that fight this ugly disease. RIP Jerry my friend
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05-12-2009, 07:05 AM
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#9 (permalink)
| | Seasoned Veteran
Join Date: Sep 2008 Location: Mississippi
Posts: 4,905
Weight Statistics 3/18/2008 (dieted all my life) Start Date:
9/30/2008 Surgery Date:
5' 8"
Height:
292 lb Start Weight:
192 lb Current Weight:
189 lb Goal Weight:
100 lb Weight Loss:
3 lb Lb Left to Lose:
34.2465753425 % % Lost:
2 years Goal Date:
Body Mass Index44.3935986159 BMI Start:
29.1903114187 BMI Current:
28.7342128028 BMI Goal:
Weight Loss MethodRoux en Y Gastric Bypass
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YEP,they have said it all. People who say this is the easy way out have never had it done, but it is so worth all you go through to get it. It does work that is the best thing. Good luck.... hope it works out well for you.
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05-12-2009, 09:58 AM
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#10 (permalink)
| | Seasoned Veteran
Join Date: Feb 2007 Location: No. Los Angeles County, CA
Posts: 2,826
Weight Statistics 4.29.08 RNY Surgery Date:
5' 8"
Height:
301 lb Start Weight:
168 lb Current Weight:
170 lb Goal Weight:
133 lb Weight Loss:
-2 lb Lb Left to Lose:
44.1860465116 % % Lost:
Body Mass Index45.7618944637 BMI Start:
25.5415224913 BMI Current:
25.8455882353 BMI Goal:
Weight Loss MethodRoux en Y Gastric Bypass
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Poor baby. I feel for you. My DH was not happy with me having surgery...he viewed it as another weight loss "phase" I was in. Then 60 minutes aired a segment about WLS, specifically gastric bypass, and the health benefits for those who had it. I am guessing it is still available on CBS.com somewhere. It aired mid April 2008. After viewing that segment, which was 1 week before my surgery, he changed his tune.
My dad, OTOH, was against it right up to the end. But he tells me now how proud he is. 
__________________
Judijo Surgery 4.29.08
11-29-08: Down 90 lbs. Total cholesterol is under 200 for the first time in my adult life!
1.11.09: 100 lbs down! Century Club! WHOO HOO! 
7.10.09 GOL! GOL! GOLGOLGOLGOLGOL! GGGGOOOOLLL!
1.10.10 Still at goal. Using Weight Watchers guideline which is: JOURNAL YOUR FOOD AND MOVEMENT FOR SUCCESS! 
Starting weight: beginning of nutrition classes, August, 2007
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