[ruiz4747]

this converstion hits home right now, I was dating a gentlemen for a couple of months and lately he has started to complain about my weight, he thinks i need to lose more weight. His exact words "from the neck up your gorgeous but you need to still lose weight". Automaticlly I went into defense mode and my insecurities kicked in. I started to starve my self trying to lose weight. I hadnt seen him for a few weeks and he asked if i was excercing and losing weight, i asked him what his problem was and he joked it off. I decided it was his problem and not mine he is aware of the surgery and my weight loss. I told him my weight was a sensitive issue for me. I told him i was at the weight i met him and he didnt mind then so what was going on. He joke it off and i dumped him. I tried to talk to him about what was his expectation for me to be healthy or be a charm on his arm..... he expected me to be a charm, i guess i didnt measure up... lol

[kitty56]

CT, you said it perfect. My hubby married me when I was 160 pounds and as everytime I got pregnant, I gained more weight right along. I gained right up to 384 pounds at my heaviest. He loved me even at that weight. Wow does he love it when I lost all this weight, becasue better in bed, I can do things with him and just living life. I was so many health issues becasue of my weight and he always was there for me and always did alot of things for me becasue he knew I could not do them and he never stopped loving me and now life is so exciting for both of us. It is like my hubby said to some people, but only teasing, that he had three wifes so far, a skinny one and a fat one and now another skinny one. People get such a kick out it. I guess hubby and I will be together to the end. We just cannot seem to be without eachother, we almost always go everywhere together. Hubby even likes it when I am with him outside, even if I just sit and watch him work on machinery and such. He likes to have me close to him. My hubby told the man that tore the barn down that he could not live without me and that he needs me. I feel the same way about him.

[DocSanae]

Originally Posted by ruiz4747

this converstion hits home right now, I was dating a gentlemen for a couple of months and lately he has started to complain about my weight, >snip<..... he expected me to be a charm, i guess i didnt measure up... lol

He is no gentleman, he is one coarse d*** a** no need to call this kinda male a gentleman, heck he doesn't deserve to be called even just a *man*

[Perfesser]

You got it, Doc! That's the kind of immature type I mean when I refer to "boys". You gotta be a man before you can be a gentleman. (That's one of my favorite John Wayne quotes!!)

CT

[gradualwisd0m]

My husband and I met when I was just graduating high school and I weighed about 190 at 5'2". We both gained weight over the years and when we got married nearly 4 years ago I was around 240 and I think he was around 245 or 250. He is 6'4". Over the past 4 years we've both gained weight with me topping off at 280 and him being around 285. He's loved me from the start and has never complained about my weight. With my surgery coming up next Wednesday, he's most concerned about my health. He wants me to be happy and sees the weight loss as a huge benefit to both of us. He's excited because he knows it will encourage him to lose weight, too!

[Perfesser]

Gradualwisd0m,

Is DH going to consider WLS at some future date? Are you showing him the path like I did for Peanut?

CT

[ChristineR]

I've got a younger man too. He was more worried about me surviving the surgery when I first decided to have it. Since we met, I've always weighed somewhere between 250 and 300lbs. He has been pleased with my weight loss and has even lost some weight himself as he's shared in my healthier dinners. Our sex life has improved because I am stronger, have more stamina, and have better flexibility. Going to Planet Fitness 2-3 times a week for the 30-minute circuit helps.

A few months ago as I was shopping for makeup and new clothes, he told me he was scared that I would get to classy for him. I reassured him that I would love him no matter how "classy" I got.

[RaCina]

My husband and I met in our last year of high school we were both 17, (1977) and got married 1 year to the date of graduation, we are both 48 that was almost 30 years ago. We both have been through so much together - him 2 kidney transplants, almost loosing him on the first transplant, 6 weeks in the hospital, I'd like to think my care of him in the hospital all those weeks kept him alive, he tells everyone that at least, anything that could go wrong with a transplant went wrong that time. Being a nurse really helped with some of it but loving someone as much as I love him was much more of it and bringing him home from all the hell he was going through, I was spending all my evenings with him, working all day, I couldn't sleep at night so I would do all my housework then and cook, so I could throw something in the oven for the kids before I went to the hospital to be with him, I would get so tired I would crawl into the bed with him and just cuddle and fall asleep, the nurses would let me sleep with him til 10pm then ask me if I wanted to go home, ICU let me stay for 2 days before the Doc came in and told me to go home and get some rest. With me, he went through my back surgery and 3 years ago coronary bypass, and a few other surgeries when we were younger. We have hit a few rough spots since my gastric bypass, since the surgery I havn't felt like taking any shit from anyone, he says I've changed what a shame! We may have hit some icy patches in the past year but we will always be together, he is my soul mate, we both knew that the minute we met in 1977, we were each others first and will be each others last. Sometimes he laughs and says I married a fat girl and now I have a skinny little wife, he is a self proclaimed "chubby chaser" he likes his woman with "some meat on her bones", I have meat haha hmm maybe not, its probably skin! But he isn't going anywhere, he tells me all the time, I look terriffic! Thats great for my self esteem.....

[gradualwisd0m]

Originally Posted by Perfesser

Gradualwisd0m,
Is DH going to consider WLS at some future date? Are you showing him the path like I did for Peanut?
CT

Well, DH is 6'4" and holding steady around 275-280. He's a large frame kind of guy. He would never consider WLS and I'm okay with that. His ideal weight is around 190-200. But I know that he'll start eating less than he does (a little gluttonous).