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08-04-2009, 12:43 AM
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#1 (permalink)
| | Big Loser
Join Date: Jun 2009 Location: Ohio
Posts: 187
Weight Statistics Aug 6th 2009 Start Date:
Feb 25, 2010 Surgery Date:
5' 8"
Height:
294 lb Start Weight:
177 lb Current Weight:
160 lb Goal Weight:
117 lb Weight Loss:
17 lb Lb Left to Lose:
39.7959183673 % % Lost:
2011 Goal Date:
Body Mass Index44.6976643599 BMI Start:
26.9098183391 BMI Current:
24.3252595156 BMI Goal:
 |  Keeping the surgery to myself
I was out on a "girls night out". Lisa, a woman who has been out with us once or twice, recently had the surgery. (she is very close to one of the ladies, Janey) I was told Lisa had the surgery because of knees and having a hard time walking.
Then everyone talked about how everyone dies or gets an infection and then dies. The ladies told about 2-4 horror stories. How they all would never do it. Janey's mother is a nurse and told her she would never allow her to have it done because of the things she has seen.
One of the persons, talking the most was a very close friend of mine, Janey. We also work together. I was going to tell her and one other person at work. Now, I am thinking I am not going to tell her. She was not saying anything bad about Lisa but she was telling all of her business to everyone. I DO NOT want that!
( I did change the names for privacy)
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08-04-2009, 04:16 AM
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#2 (permalink)
| | Super Moderator
Join Date: Nov 2005 Location: Tokyo, Japan
Posts: 23,801
5' 5"
Height:
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((((HUGS)))) Do whatever it takes to allow you to keep your peace, your health is YOUR business, nobody elses.
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08-04-2009, 10:07 AM
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#3 (permalink)
| | Seasoned Veteran
Join Date: May 2008 Location: Just north of Iowa, not far from I-35. 2nd star on the right and straight on 'til morning!
Posts: 8,214
Weight Statistics December 13, 2007 (pre-op liquid diet started) Start Date:
December 27, 2007 Surgery Date:
5' 9"
Height:
280 lb Start Weight:
172 lb Current Weight:
184 lb Goal Weight:
108 lb Weight Loss:
-12 lb Lb Left to Lose:
38.5714285714 % % Lost:
Originally - 12/08. Actually - 8/08. Goal Date:
Body Mass Index41.3442554085 BMI Start:
25.3971854652 BMI Current:
27.1690821256 BMI Goal:
Weight Loss MethodRoux en Y Gastric Bypass
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If you don't want to be the topic of all manner of gossip, the only way is to keep it a secret. And the only way to keep it a secret is to not tell anyone! You have seen how your friends respond to the subject.
I didn't tell anyone, except my wife (I needed a ride home from the hospital!  ) No one in the family knew, no one at work knew, no one at church knew. That way I didn't have to issue regular status reports (how much did you lose this week? Are you still losing? How much do you think you'll lose? Are you feeling well? etc.  ) and suffer the horror stories that the ignorant love to tell. It worked for me, and I'd do it again the same way. After I reached goal, I told anyone who'd listen all about it.
On the other hand, my wife told everyone. Of course, I had laid the groundwork for her through my success. It would have been hard for them to tell her that it was a killer operation when they all knew that I had done so well.
You need to do what works for you. How private a person are you? How much do you want to put up with as you progress through the process?
Good luck!
CT
__________________ da perfesser
*******************
Dare to live your dream!!
If you want to be healthy for life, do for life the things that get you healthy!! Living healthy takes work. Dying fat is easy!! "That which we persist in doing becomes easier, not that the nature of the task has changed, but that our capacity to do has increased." - HJ Grant
"Do, or do not. There is no try!" - Yoda
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08-04-2009, 11:15 AM
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#4 (permalink)
| | Seasoned Veteran
Join Date: Sep 2008 Location: Mississippi
Posts: 4,905
Weight Statistics 3/18/2008 (dieted all my life) Start Date:
9/30/2008 Surgery Date:
5' 8"
Height:
292 lb Start Weight:
192 lb Current Weight:
189 lb Goal Weight:
100 lb Weight Loss:
3 lb Lb Left to Lose:
34.2465753425 % % Lost:
2 years Goal Date:
Body Mass Index44.3935986159 BMI Start:
29.1903114187 BMI Current:
28.7342128028 BMI Goal:
Weight Loss MethodRoux en Y Gastric Bypass
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I only told close family and not all of them.. I have failed on so many diets and I wanted to make sure this would work for me. Now I will tell anyone that wants to know. I sing the praises of wls but tell everyone it is not the easy way out and it is a tool and YOU have to work with it. The choice is yours.. it is your body and your business.... good luck on your journey...
__________________   Love to Share , Health to Spare, and Friends that Care!
23 pounds lost before surgery.
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08-04-2009, 11:28 AM
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#5 (permalink)
| | Guru In Training
Join Date: Jul 2009 Location: Long Island, New York
Posts: 328
Weight Statistics April 6, 2009 Start Date:
October 27, 2009 Surgery Date:
5' 9"
Height:
340 lb Start Weight:
181 lb Current Weight:
170 lb Goal Weight:
159 lb Weight Loss:
11 lb Lb Left to Lose:
46.7647058824 % % Lost:
Body Mass Index50.2037387104 BMI Start:
26.7261079605 BMI Current:
25.1018693552 BMI Goal:
Weight Loss MethodRoux en Y Gastric Bypass
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I decided not to tell anyone until 2 weeks before the surgery. I was lucky in one wauy, Everyone to a person was supportive and excited for me. Noone told horror stories or told me I was taking the easy way out. Unfortunately, my surgery got postponed and now everyone keeps asking me how I am because they know how disappointed I am that it didn't happen. I still am glad I told as many people as I did, because I still get amazing support and still noone has told me that this is a sign that it wasn't supposed to happen. Everyone just wants what's best for me and they are leaving that decision up to me.
That being said, only YOU know what's best for you. If you think you are going to be unsupported then tell us here and you'll tell others when you're ready.
Good luck with your decision and welcome!!
__________________ Kathy 54 lbs lost pre-op  | |
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08-04-2009, 11:44 AM
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#6 (permalink)
| | Seasoned Veteran
Join Date: Mar 2007 Location: Floyd County Virginia
Posts: 9,219
Weight Statistics September 19th 2007 Start Date:
September 19th 2007 Surgery Date:
5' 10"
Height:
363 lb Start Weight:
170 lb Current Weight:
170 lb Goal Weight:
193 lb Weight Loss:
53.1680440771 % % Lost:
12/31/09 Goal Date:
Body Mass Index52.0793877551 BMI Start:
24.3897959184 BMI Current:
24.3897959184 BMI Goal:
Weight Loss MethodRoux en Y Gastric Bypass
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You know its your own decision to tell anyone you want to. The mom that is a nurse and has ( seen) what it can do........ must deal with alot of paitents per say from a particular Dr. ( This is what I think personally) My own opinion of course.
CT is correct if you dont want anyone to know....... you dont tell anyone. That is just how it goes. Because someone will tell just one person they feel wont tell it and then so on.
Your always gonna come accross someone that dont agree with it. That is there own choice. Now its usually someone that dont have the weight or problems or who has tried everything there is to try and do the last thing there is to do like this.
I told everyone and told them before they could get I dont approve out of there mouth the reason why was to save my life. Look at my before weight. I wasnt lying. So its your decision. YOURS not theres and they can think what ever they want. Alot its jealousy. For real it is. You will no longer be the biggest and that does bother them more than anything.
I remember being invited out several times to different things. In the end it come down to if I have her with me it will make me look better. And they sure did.
Good luck with your decision. ( emmm for the hard ass ones....... I used this one time....... If you ever need some help I would be glad to give you my surgeons number for future use. That was to get a point accross and that was the last time I was ever dumped on for making my decision.
TAKE CARE OF YOU..........
__________________ Remember Tough times never last Tough people do... This Ribbon is for our Lady Lisa and all the women that fight this ugly disease. RIP Jerry my friend
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08-04-2009, 04:08 PM
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#7 (permalink)
| | Seasoned Veteran
Join Date: Jan 2008 Location: Troy,ny
Posts: 2,799
Weight Statistics Since birth:) Start Date:
August 5, 2009 Surgery Date:
5' 6"
Height:
319 lb Start Weight:
189 lb Current Weight:
150 lb Goal Weight:
130 lb Weight Loss:
39 lb Lb Left to Lose:
40.7523510972 % % Lost:
sometime in 2010 Goal Date:
Body Mass Index51.4823232323 BMI Start:
30.5020661157 BMI Current:
24.2079889807 BMI Goal:
Weight Loss MethodRoux en Y Gastric Bypass
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I made the mistake of telling people and everyone and their grandmother knew someone who knew someone who had all these terrible things happen. Nothing is 100% and you have to feel comfortable with your decision. If you think it is better to keep things to yourself then so be it.
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08-04-2009, 04:14 PM
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#8 (permalink)
| | WLS Master Guru
Join Date: Jan 2009 Location: Birmingham, England
Posts: 830
Weight Statistics Oct 2008 Start Date:
30th January 2009 Surgery Date:
5' 5"
Height:
351 lb Start Weight:
166 lb Current Weight:
168 lb Goal Weight:
185 lb Weight Loss:
-2 lb Lb Left to Lose:
52.7065527066 % % Lost:
Body Mass Index58.4030769231 BMI Start:
27.6208284024 BMI Current:
27.9536094675 BMI Goal:
Weight Loss MethodRoux en Y Gastric Bypass
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I decided to tell th world, as I knew that it was what was right for me, but I soon realised everyone had an opinion and there were always horrer stories, and concerns....
I hope and Pray you find someone who you can trust enough to share your journey with, but you have always got us on here if not!!
__________________ " THE BEST IS YET TO COME !!!" Keep Within the Boundaries, make the Changes for life and then enjoy the Healthier YOU!!! Love and HUGS Angie xx  | |
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08-05-2009, 01:18 PM
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#9 (permalink)
| | WLS Master Guru
Join Date: Apr 2009 Location: Big Sky Country~Montana
Posts: 873
Weight Statistics Sept 2008 Start Date:
Oct 13, 2008 Surgery Date:
5' 7"
Height:
450 lb Start Weight:
306 lb Current Weight:
180 lb Goal Weight:
144 lb Weight Loss:
126 lb Lb Left to Lose:
32 % % Lost:
in late 2010 Goal Date:
Body Mass Index70.472265538 BMI Start:
47.9211405658 BMI Current:
28.1889062152 BMI Goal:
Weight Loss MethodRoux en Y Gastric Bypass
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Quote:
Originally Posted by dixieladybug  I only told close family and not all of them.. I have failed on so many diets and I wanted to make sure this would work for me. Now I will tell anyone that wants to know. I sing the praises of wls but tell everyone it is not the easy way out and it is a tool and YOU have to work with it. The choice is yours.. it is your body and your business.... good luck on your journey... | exactly what I had felt about mine and did the very same thing too! 
__________________ RC  Make a difference!
Attitudes are contagious... is yours worth catching?
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08-08-2009, 10:25 AM
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#10 (permalink)
| | Guru In Training
Join Date: Dec 2008 Location: Thomasville, GA
Posts: 203
Weight Statistics 01/14/2009 Start Date:
12/29/2009 Surgery Date:
5' 3"
Height:
350 lb Start Weight:
130 lb Current Weight:
150 lb Goal Weight:
220 lb Weight Loss:
-20 lb Lb Left to Lose:
62.8571428571 % % Lost:
01/01/2011 Goal Date:
Body Mass Index61.9929453263 BMI Start:
23.0259511212 BMI Current:
26.5684051398 BMI Goal:
Weight Loss MethodRoux en Y Gastric Bypass
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I wish I would have thought about it before I told people, and I haven't even had my surgery yet. I got delayed and now everyone keeps asking how it went...ugh, I wish people could read my mind so I didn't have to repeat that I haven't had it done.
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