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08-30-2009, 05:34 PM
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#1 (permalink)
| | Cub Reporter
Join Date: Feb 2009 Location: Upstate NY, near Rochester
Posts: 62
Weight Statistics 2/5/09 Start Date:
8/25/09 Surgery Date:
5' 4"
Height:
242 lb Start Weight:
132 lb Current Weight:
135 lb Goal Weight:
110 lb Weight Loss:
-3 lb Lb Left to Lose:
45.4545454545 % % Lost:
4/10 Goal Date:
Body Mass Index41.5346679688 BMI Start:
22.6552734375 BMI Current:
23.1701660156 BMI Goal:
Weight Loss MethodRoux en Y Gastric Bypass
 |  Ugh!! Dh.....
Hi Guys,
My name is Kristen, I started my WL journey in 11/08, when I made the call to the surgeon. I had talked about it with my DH, who said he didn't think I needed the surgery, but "whatever" I thought I needed to do. I stuck to my guns and went through the process. My surgery was 8/25/09. My DH wanted nothing to do with it, so I arranged my mom and friend to take me to and from the hospital. My DH did call several times while I was in the hospital, but never did visit. I was discharged on Thursday.
Well, he basically is not talking to me at all at this point, and I am fed up. I needed this surgery for me to be able to be a good mom and wife, and also for me to stop struggling with the yoyo of diets I had been on since age 8.
Will he ever stop with the snide remarks, and learn that this isn't teh "easy way out", and that I didn't do it because I am "addicted to surgery"?? Ugh.
Needless to say, my home life is less than desirable right now, and it stinks.....
Thanks, and sorry for rambling
__________________  | 
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08-30-2009, 06:30 PM
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#2 (permalink)
| | Seasoned Veteran
Join Date: Mar 2007 Location: Floyd County Virginia
Posts: 9,219
Weight Statistics September 19th 2007 Start Date:
September 19th 2007 Surgery Date:
5' 10"
Height:
363 lb Start Weight:
170 lb Current Weight:
170 lb Goal Weight:
193 lb Weight Loss:
53.1680440771 % % Lost:
12/31/09 Goal Date:
Body Mass Index52.0793877551 BMI Start:
24.3897959184 BMI Current:
24.3897959184 BMI Goal:
Weight Loss MethodRoux en Y Gastric Bypass
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You talk all you want to honey. IT was YOUR decision and YOUR body. Not his. I hope he comes around I really do. Hes a bit selfish if you think about it. Making arrangements to have you dropped off but never come to see you. Grrrrr.......
YOu might have to drop him to after a while and you can count that as extra dead weightLOL. Im sorry but it seems as if hes not got you controlled anylonger which is a fabulous thing. I might have went to far saying that but his actions show it . We will hang with you the entire way. The easy way out ..... if you find somone to hold him I will punch his lights out.....I would be happy to. That statment is just cruel to any one and you hear it alot.
Take care of YOU. Then your kids...... hes wants to put you last on his agenda two can play that game.
__________________ Remember Tough times never last Tough people do... This Ribbon is for our Lady Lisa and all the women that fight this ugly disease. RIP Jerry my friend
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08-30-2009, 07:51 PM
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#3 (permalink)
| | Cub Reporter
Join Date: Feb 2009 Location: Upstate NY, near Rochester
Posts: 62
Weight Statistics 2/5/09 Start Date:
8/25/09 Surgery Date:
5' 4"
Height:
242 lb Start Weight:
132 lb Current Weight:
135 lb Goal Weight:
110 lb Weight Loss:
-3 lb Lb Left to Lose:
45.4545454545 % % Lost:
4/10 Goal Date:
Body Mass Index41.5346679688 BMI Start:
22.6552734375 BMI Current:
23.1701660156 BMI Goal:
Weight Loss MethodRoux en Y Gastric Bypass
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Thanks Vickie.
He really is not so controlling, and we have been eachothers best friends for 20+ years. I think he is afraid of losing me, but his actions are only pushing me away, not bringing me any closer.
Today, I decided to not reply to any of his comments, and if he chooses to say those things, no one will respond. We will see.
You are right, this is my body, and I did this for me!
Thanks.
Kristen
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08-30-2009, 08:00 PM
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#4 (permalink)
| | Seasoned Veteran
Join Date: Mar 2007 Location: Floyd County Virginia
Posts: 9,219
Weight Statistics September 19th 2007 Start Date:
September 19th 2007 Surgery Date:
5' 10"
Height:
363 lb Start Weight:
170 lb Current Weight:
170 lb Goal Weight:
193 lb Weight Loss:
53.1680440771 % % Lost:
12/31/09 Goal Date:
Body Mass Index52.0793877551 BMI Start:
24.3897959184 BMI Current:
24.3897959184 BMI Goal:
Weight Loss MethodRoux en Y Gastric Bypass
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Sorry I usually dont get down so hard on the spouse when I read stuff like this but it crinked me the wrong way. Especially since he had your dropped off and picked up with no visits. I have seen it go both ways. Men complain or women complain about not liking it. In the long run your did the right thing. Its sad hes gonna make the journey with you and lose that part of his life with you.
You first.
__________________ Remember Tough times never last Tough people do... This Ribbon is for our Lady Lisa and all the women that fight this ugly disease. RIP Jerry my friend
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08-30-2009, 09:44 PM
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#5 (permalink)
| | Seasoned Veteran
Join Date: Jan 2006 Location: Oklahoma City, Okla USA
Posts: 2,549
Weight Statistics 05/17/02 Start Date:
05/17/02 Surgery Date:
5' 5"
Height:
355 lb Start Weight:
190 lb Current Weight:
175 lb Goal Weight:
165 lb Weight Loss:
15 lb Lb Left to Lose:
46.4788732394 % % Lost:
Body Mass Index59.0686390533 BMI Start:
31.6142011834 BMI Current:
29.1183431953 BMI Goal:
Weight Loss MethodRoux en Y Gastric Bypass
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Um...did anyone else read the info and go..."divorce is a comin' this way"??
\
What a JERK!~
__________________ 
(Spring 2004)
(lowest body weight/size) --BREE
- Strength in body is fleeting, but MY strength is from the LORD whose strength never weakens...
--------------------- open RNY 5/17/2002 -166 lbs(-200 at lowest) 8 years post in May 2010
Open major abdominal surgery 4/6/2010 for internal hernia release, extensive scarring removal & Appendix removal
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08-30-2009, 09:52 PM
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#6 (permalink)
| | Seasoned Veteran
Join Date: Feb 2007 Location: No. Los Angeles County, CA
Posts: 2,826
Weight Statistics 4.29.08 RNY Surgery Date:
5' 8"
Height:
301 lb Start Weight:
168 lb Current Weight:
170 lb Goal Weight:
133 lb Weight Loss:
-2 lb Lb Left to Lose:
44.1860465116 % % Lost:
Body Mass Index45.7618944637 BMI Start:
25.5415224913 BMI Current:
25.8455882353 BMI Goal:
Weight Loss MethodRoux en Y Gastric Bypass
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Sorry for the challenges you are facing. 
My DH wasn't into it too much. I finally had to show him my lab results to prove that my health was indeed suffering and since he was soon to be laid off (he has now been laid off/retired for 2 years) I really needed to be as healthy as possible to keep us on our feet.
Then he saw a 60 minutes segment only 2 weeks before I had the surgery. Thank God! That showed the benefits of gastric bypass surgeries.
He does not see me as anything other than what I am at the moment.
I hope your hub sees the benefits for all soon. 
__________________
Judijo  Surgery 4.29.08
11-29-08: Down 90 lbs. Total cholesterol is under 200 for the first time in my adult life!
1.11.09: 100 lbs down! Century Club! WHOO HOO! 
7.10.09 GOL! GOL! GOLGOLGOLGOLGOL! GGGGOOOOLLL!
1.10.10 Still at goal. Using Weight Watchers guideline which is: JOURNAL YOUR FOOD AND MOVEMENT FOR SUCCESS! 
Starting weight: beginning of nutrition classes, August, 2007
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08-30-2009, 11:03 PM
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#7 (permalink)
| | Seasoned Veteran
Join Date: Apr 2009 Location: North Dakota..ya sure, u betcha!
Posts: 1,709
Weight Statistics Which time? Start Date:
July 24, 2009 Surgery Date:
4' 11"
Height:
213 lb Start Weight:
108 lb Current Weight:
120 lb Goal Weight:
105 lb Weight Loss:
-12 lb Lb Left to Lose:
49.2957746479 % % Lost:
Whenever.... Goal Date:
Body Mass Index43.0160873312 BMI Start:
21.8109738581 BMI Current:
24.2344153979 BMI Goal:
Weight Loss MethodRoux en Y Gastric Bypass
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My DH was not supporting me at all at first. He didn't go to any Dr appts with me, but we did see a counselor and that helps. He did take me to the hospital and stayed throughout the surgery and back the next day to bring me home. He realizing now that this is NOT the easy way out as he sees me struggle with food choices and portions and trying to all my protein in. It's frustrating for him since he likes to cook for an army and cooks with all the bad ingredients. We're working on moving to lower fat & sugar ingredients. It will be a long haul. But his attitude is getting better. Hang in there with me....it WILL get better.
salli lou
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08-31-2009, 08:22 AM
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#8 (permalink)
| | Super Moderator
Join Date: Nov 2005 Location: Tokyo, Japan
Posts: 23,794
5' 5"
Height:
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((((HUGS)))) Hang in there.
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08-31-2009, 08:26 AM
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#9 (permalink)
| | Seasoned Veteran
Join Date: Apr 2007 Location: Central Virginia
Posts: 2,835
Weight Statistics 4/30/2007 Start Date:
9/5/07 Surgery Date:
5' 4"
Height:
233 lb Start Weight:
127 lb Current Weight:
135 lb Goal Weight:
106 lb Weight Loss:
-8 lb Lb Left to Lose:
45.4935622318 % % Lost:
Nov 2008 Goal Date:
Body Mass Index39.9899902344 BMI Start:
21.7971191406 BMI Current:
23.1701660156 BMI Goal:
Weight Loss MethodRoux en Y Gastric Bypass
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I'm with Bree and Vickie, but I'll bite my tongue and just wish you well. Who knows, maybe he'll imporve with time, miracles have been know to happen.
__________________
Highest 233, Lowest 122, Current 127
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08-31-2009, 10:16 AM
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#10 (permalink)
| | WLS Mentor
Join Date: Oct 2008 Location: Rochester NY
Posts: 1,003
Weight Statistics 1/13/08 Start Date:
11/17/08 Surgery Date:
5' 4"
Height:
288 lb Start Weight:
165 lb Current Weight:
160 lb Goal Weight:
123 lb Weight Loss:
5 lb Lb Left to Lose:
42.7083333333 % % Lost:
11/2010 Goal Date:
Body Mass Index49.4296875 BMI Start:
28.3190917969 BMI Current:
27.4609375 BMI Goal:
Weight Loss MethodRoux en Y Gastric Bypass
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There's nothing as hard as going through a tough time without your best friend. I hope that you can both come out on the other side of this and still be close. I think that ignoring his comments is a good idea. They're not worth the effort of the response anyway. Wishing you the best.
__________________ Sarah Lost 15 lbs before surgery
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