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11-16-2009, 07:54 PM
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#1 (permalink)
| | Big Loser
Join Date: Jun 2009 Location: Ohio
Posts: 187
Weight Statistics Aug 6th 2009 Start Date:
Feb 25, 2010 Surgery Date:
5' 8"
Height:
294 lb Start Weight:
177 lb Current Weight:
160 lb Goal Weight:
117 lb Weight Loss:
17 lb Lb Left to Lose:
39.7959183673 % % Lost:
2011 Goal Date:
Body Mass Index44.6976643599 BMI Start:
26.9098183391 BMI Current:
24.3252595156 BMI Goal:
 |  My Mom
I told my mom after I got my approval, which was last week, now she is kinda stressing me. I called her today with my surgery date and she kinda freaked out. She told me she could not talk until later, only to tell me she is anxious. She could have told me that the first time we talked. I felt like she had more to say and did not want to. Why are people stressing? I am not stressed at all. I feel like this is meant to happen to me now.
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Last edited by SkinnyMe1342; 11-16-2009 at 08:16 PM.
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11-16-2009, 08:08 PM
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#2 (permalink)
| | Seasoned Veteran
Join Date: Jul 2009 Location: North
Posts: 2,180
Weight Statistics August 20, 2009 Surgery Date:
5' "
Height:
210 lb Start Weight:
102 lb Current Weight:
110 lb Goal Weight:
108 lb Weight Loss:
-8 lb Lb Left to Lose:
51.4285714286 % % Lost:
August 2010 Goal Date:
Body Mass Index41.0083333333 BMI Start:
19.9183333333 BMI Current:
21.4805555556 BMI Goal:
Weight Loss MethodRoux en Y Gastric Bypass
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Perhaps your mom is stressing because she really doesn't understand WLS? Maybe she's afraid for you to have surgery. Period. If it's important to you to find out why your mom is stressing, try having a candid conversation with her. It seems as though your mom stressing may be stressing you a little? You probably don't need that right now, huh? Talk to your mom. :-)
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11-16-2009, 09:04 PM
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#3 (permalink)
| | WLS Guru
Join Date: Jul 2009 Location: Oklahoma
Posts: 396
Weight Statistics 01/01/09 Start Date:
07/06/09 Surgery Date:
5' 7"
Height:
332 lb Start Weight:
149 lb Current Weight:
160 lb Goal Weight:
183 lb Weight Loss:
-11 lb Lb Left to Lose:
55.1204819277 % % Lost:
No goal date Goal Date:
Body Mass Index51.9928714636 BMI Start:
23.3341501448 BMI Current:
25.0568055246 BMI Goal:
Weight Loss MethodRoux en Y Gastric Bypass
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U know as a Mom it is hard to see our kids go through a surgery and top it off it is WLS. There is, I think, a since of guilt that Moms feel for their kids being overwhight.
My Mom appoligized to me for not teachingme enough, not supportingme enough...u know the should of,could of syndrome.
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11-16-2009, 09:16 PM
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#4 (permalink)
| | WLS Mentor
Join Date: Aug 2006 Location: Saint Louis
Posts: 1,477
Weight Statistics 5/6/08 Surgery Date:
5' 10"
Height:
325 lb Start Weight:
149 lb Current Weight:
150 lb Goal Weight:
176 lb Weight Loss:
-1 lb Lb Left to Lose:
54.1538461538 % % Lost:
Body Mass Index46.6275510204 BMI Start:
21.3769387755 BMI Current:
21.5204081633 BMI Goal:
Weight Loss MethodRoux en Y Gastric Bypass
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i'm sure that the reason she is stressing is that her baby is making a big life changing decision and more than likely she has heard at least one horror story regarding weight loss surgery. i suggest you all arrange a specific time to sit and discuss this and both of you need to be very open about any concerns and you need to be open about your desires.
__________________  joanne DePaul Weight Loss Institute
Saint Louis, Mo - May 6, 2008 _____________________________________________
"I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me." Philippians 4:13  http://joannes-journey.blogspot.com
url=http://www.TickerFactory.com/weight-loss/wPgwlBa/] 
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11-16-2009, 09:22 PM
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#5 (permalink)
| | Big Loser
Join Date: Jun 2009 Location: Ohio
Posts: 187
Weight Statistics Aug 6th 2009 Start Date:
Feb 25, 2010 Surgery Date:
5' 8"
Height:
294 lb Start Weight:
177 lb Current Weight:
160 lb Goal Weight:
117 lb Weight Loss:
17 lb Lb Left to Lose:
39.7959183673 % % Lost:
2011 Goal Date:
Body Mass Index44.6976643599 BMI Start:
26.9098183391 BMI Current:
24.3252595156 BMI Goal:
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Thanks everyone for being so helpful and thoughtful. I have tried to talk to my mom and told her to be open with me about her concerns. I will try again in person. Hopefully this unsettling feeling goes away.
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11-16-2009, 09:24 PM
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#6 (permalink)
| | WLS Master Guru
Join Date: Sep 2009 Location: New York
Posts: 573
Weight Statistics December 10, 2009 - 30lbs lost pre-op Surgery Date:
5' 6"
Height:
310 lb Start Weight:
193 lb Current Weight:
160 lb Goal Weight:
117 lb Weight Loss:
33 lb Lb Left to Lose:
37.7419354839 % % Lost:
Body Mass Index50.0298438935 BMI Start:
31.1476124885 BMI Current:
25.8218549128 BMI Goal:
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Trust me.. better to have your mom there worried than not there! My mom passed away 3 years ago from Breast Cancer. I wish to anything she was here to try and talk me out of it. As a mom myself, I know that you will do anything to protect your kids. I'm sure she's just worried. Be glad you have someone there to worry about you! I wish I had my mom back every day...
Good luck!
Kathy
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11-16-2009, 11:17 PM
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#7 (permalink)
| | Seasoned Veteran
Join Date: Mar 2007 Location: Floyd County Virginia
Posts: 9,219
Weight Statistics September 19th 2007 Start Date:
September 19th 2007 Surgery Date:
5' 10"
Height:
363 lb Start Weight:
170 lb Current Weight:
170 lb Goal Weight:
193 lb Weight Loss:
53.1680440771 % % Lost:
12/31/09 Goal Date:
Body Mass Index52.0793877551 BMI Start:
24.3897959184 BMI Current:
24.3897959184 BMI Goal:
Weight Loss MethodRoux en Y Gastric Bypass
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Shes worried and Im sure she dont understand WLS just the horror stories from it. If possible and if you have an appoitment with the surgon before your surgery let your MOM go with ya. Most of us have to take somone or the people who will be our support when we have this done. That usually helps emensley. Them understanding it.
I acutally belive it or not helped a friend of my husbands. It was his son who was having this done being a whole 25 years old and weighing close to 600 when he had his done last year at this time. Mike has known this man for years upon years and in the 3 months leading up to the surgery the dad my hubbys friend called every day asking questions about it. It helped....... however his son left out the part he was having RNY and the dad thought he was having the band.
I even told the dad when quesitoning him right before the surgery was he sure he was having the band and he said yes why? I said well with his weight being what it was I would think they would have done the RNY. It was the day of and the surgeon come into his sons room asking him if he was ready and explained it again that his dad knew what was really going on. Yeah freaked the dad out. Got a call within minutes of him going in. Mike was like oh they already done??? He said no I need to talk to Vickie they are doing RNY . I was at work and got a page and anwsered the call from his dad. I told him to calm down. His daughter who knew this the entire time decided not to tell dad it was RNY. He came out great super great as the dad said. I got paged a couple hours later anwsered the call him telling me he just come out and looked better already. He said let mike know ok? LOL
So yes they are worried. Nothing more. I have a son that is 24 and it would scare me to death if he had to have ear tubes or a tonsillectomy. SO if possible let her come with you to a support group if you have one or to the surgeons office if you go again before hand.
Dont be suprised if she says try it again yourself etc....... you know your self you cant do it alone and need the support. She will understand honey...........she has to be told correctly from somone else its gonna be ok. Remember its still hard to have a parent fully belive ya....... I dont belive my son alot of times but I have good reason not to LOL. Its gonna be ok.
Hey if nothing else.......have her look us up and get on here and ask. We have many of parents wifes hubbys sisters etc......that do just that. They get help to help.
SMile honey....... your both gonna be just fine.
__________________ Remember Tough times never last Tough people do... This Ribbon is for our Lady Lisa and all the women that fight this ugly disease. RIP Jerry my friend
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11-17-2009, 12:59 AM
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#8 (permalink)
| | Big Loser
Join Date: Jun 2009 Location: Ohio
Posts: 187
Weight Statistics Aug 6th 2009 Start Date:
Feb 25, 2010 Surgery Date:
5' 8"
Height:
294 lb Start Weight:
177 lb Current Weight:
160 lb Goal Weight:
117 lb Weight Loss:
17 lb Lb Left to Lose:
39.7959183673 % % Lost:
2011 Goal Date:
Body Mass Index44.6976643599 BMI Start:
26.9098183391 BMI Current:
24.3252595156 BMI Goal:
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Thanks everyone for your very helpful advice. I talked to my mom tonight. She is just worried because I am her "baby" being the youngest. I am 29. lol She seemed to be better after we talked especially since I told her I was not worried about "that" at all. I told her I am not even putting "that" into my spirit because I KNOW I will be okay, not even okay, I will be great. Also I told her that it was being done laparoscopically, which I thought she knew but she did not. I think that alone made her feel better. She asked me a few more questions and I told her to ask me anything she wanted. She said she would. I am going to talk to her about going to an appointment with me.
Good advice thanks everyone!
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11-17-2009, 07:24 AM
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#9 (permalink)
| | WLS Master Guru
Join Date: Sep 2009 Location: New York
Posts: 573
Weight Statistics December 10, 2009 - 30lbs lost pre-op Surgery Date:
5' 6"
Height:
310 lb Start Weight:
193 lb Current Weight:
160 lb Goal Weight:
117 lb Weight Loss:
33 lb Lb Left to Lose:
37.7419354839 % % Lost:
Body Mass Index50.0298438935 BMI Start:
31.1476124885 BMI Current:
25.8218549128 BMI Goal:
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Ask her to join here! After my husband started reading notes from REAL people who had the surgery, he totally changed his negative tune!
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11-17-2009, 09:21 AM
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#10 (permalink)
| | Seasoned Veteran
Join Date: May 2008 Location: Just north of Iowa, not far from I-35. 2nd star on the right and straight on 'til morning!
Posts: 8,212
Weight Statistics December 13, 2007 (pre-op liquid diet started) Start Date:
December 27, 2007 Surgery Date:
5' 9"
Height:
280 lb Start Weight:
172 lb Current Weight:
184 lb Goal Weight:
108 lb Weight Loss:
-12 lb Lb Left to Lose:
38.5714285714 % % Lost:
Originally - 12/08. Actually - 8/08. Goal Date:
Body Mass Index41.3442554085 BMI Start:
25.3971854652 BMI Current:
27.1690821256 BMI Goal:
Weight Loss MethodRoux en Y Gastric Bypass
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My wife freaked when I told her I had decided to have WLS. She was very reluctant in her support until she went with me and met the surgeon. She shifted then from negative to neutral, which is a major change in itself.
After she saw the success I was having, she wanted it for herself, and had the same surgeon do her RNY 15 months later. I guess you'd say that her neutrality changed to support!! 
Your mom's only got one of you. She knows you as you are, and loves you as you are, and is having a hard time making the leap of faith from the known to the future unknown. You've already been there and got your mind wrapped around it, but how long have you been living in the process? Time to get her immersed in it so she can get the good vibes you enjoy!
Good luck! As FinallyForMe says, I wish my mom could have seen the change I went through. Enjoy your mom, even when she's a pain in the ... neck!! 
CT
__________________ da perfesser
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Dare to live your dream!!
If you want to be healthy for life, do for life the things that get you healthy!! Living healthy takes work. Dying fat is easy!! "That which we persist in doing becomes easier, not that the nature of the task has changed, but that our capacity to do has increased." - HJ Grant
"Do, or do not. There is no try!" - Yoda
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