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11-28-2009, 10:29 PM
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#1 (permalink)
| | Guru In Training
Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: Philadelphia, PA
Posts: 203
Weight Statistics 1/11/10 Start Date:
January 25, 2010 Surgery Date:
5' 8"
Height:
237 lb Start Weight:
154 lb Current Weight:
150 lb Goal Weight:
83 lb Weight Loss:
4 lb Lb Left to Lose:
35.0210970464 % % Lost:
One Year Goal Date:
Body Mass Index36.0317906574 BMI Start:
23.4130622837 BMI Current:
22.8049307958 BMI Goal:
Weight Loss MethodRoux en Y Gastric Bypass
|  Newbie in need of answers
Hi All,
Well I just signed up for this forum as I was approved for my surgery last week...woo hoo!!!! 
So, I'm very prepared mentally, physically and emotionally but I have one problem. While I have told those most important in my life (family & friends) all of whom are incredibly supportive, I have made the decision not to tell anyone I work with. The reasons for this range anywhere from it's none of their business and I work with a bunch of "Chatty Kathys" to I don't want to deal with the judgment (let's be honest..this is the biggest one).
Clearly, people I work with (especially the ones I have lunch with) are going to notice a drastic change. Does anyone have any suggestions on the best way to deal with those people?
Thanks so much!! OH AND ANY OTHER TIPS, POINTERS, WORDS OF WISDOM ARE VERY WELCOME AND APPRECIATED!!! 
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11-28-2009, 11:46 PM
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#2 (permalink)
| | Seasoned Veteran
Join Date: May 2008 Location: Just north of Iowa, not far from I-35. 2nd star on the right and straight on 'til morning!
Posts: 8,214
Weight Statistics December 13, 2007 (pre-op liquid diet started) Start Date:
December 27, 2007 Surgery Date:
5' 9"
Height:
280 lb Start Weight:
172 lb Current Weight:
184 lb Goal Weight:
108 lb Weight Loss:
-12 lb Lb Left to Lose:
38.5714285714 % % Lost:
Originally - 12/08. Actually - 8/08. Goal Date:
Body Mass Index41.3442554085 BMI Start:
25.3971854652 BMI Current:
27.1690821256 BMI Goal:
Weight Loss MethodRoux en Y Gastric Bypass
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I didn't tell anyone either. When folks started to notice that I was shrinking and asked, I was totally honest with them.
I've been to a weight control doctor and am under his care. I'm finally following doctor's orders.
I eat less, and more healthy food. I chew everything completely before swallowing to allow the digestive juices to mix with it for better digestion. I have eliminated sugar from my diet, and reduced the amount of fats.
I no longer drink with my meals. I eat to get full. When I get that full feeling, if I drink I'll wash all that food out of my stomach and have to start eating all over again to get it back, thus eating two or three times what I need to maintain health and lose weight.
All of these are perfectly true. You have to be honest because eventually it's going to come out that you had surgery. I just managed to leave that one little detail out, but everything else I told them was completely true. When you start into the details, their eyes glaze over and they lose interest unless they are dead serious about losing themselves.
All they want to hear is that you are on some crazy new "diet" and they'll settle down. You could even tell them that you had abdominal surgery, the weight loss is a side effect of that surgery and you really don't want to talk about it. They'll think you had cancer or some other terrible thing and they'll be satisfied. The big thing is to tell them that you don't want to talk about it and they usually will leave it at that.
I didn't want the whole recitation of horror stories and negativity, and I didn't get any. A year down the road, I opened up that I had had WLS, but by then it was too late for them to try to scare me about it.
Everyone has to decide for him or her self how to handle it. The only person who knew (until after I reached goal) was my wife.
Good luck controlling the flow of information!!
CT
__________________ da perfesser
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Dare to live your dream!!
If you want to be healthy for life, do for life the things that get you healthy!! Living healthy takes work. Dying fat is easy!! "That which we persist in doing becomes easier, not that the nature of the task has changed, but that our capacity to do has increased." - HJ Grant
"Do, or do not. There is no try!" - Yoda
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11-28-2009, 11:49 PM
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#3 (permalink)
| | Guru In Training
Join Date: Sep 2009 Location: Georgia
Posts: 336
Weight Statistics lost 14 lbs on 2 week preop diet Start Date:
11/16/09 Surgery Date:
5' 4"
Height:
287 lb Start Weight:
182 lb Current Weight:
150 lb Goal Weight:
105 lb Weight Loss:
32 lb Lb Left to Lose:
36.5853658537 % % Lost:
May 2011 Goal Date:
Body Mass Index49.2580566406 BMI Start:
31.2368164062 BMI Current:
25.7446289062 BMI Goal:
Weight Loss MethodRoux en Y Gastric Bypass
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If you don't want to tell your coworkers about having the surgery you shouldn't. If they start asking questions about how you are losing the weight or want to know what diet you are on, just tell them you are not on a diet, you have made lifestyle changes by making healthier choices and making exercise a part of your life. You won't be lying, just leaving out one detail.
I told all of my coworkers, and most are really supportive. I work in a hospital and several of my coworkers have had this surgery as well. However I did find that most people actually know very little about it. One girl I work with thought that I would instantly be slim, like liposuction or something, LOL.
Good Luck!
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11-29-2009, 12:02 AM
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#4 (permalink)
| | Super Moderator
Join Date: Nov 2005 Location: Tokyo, Japan
Posts: 23,801
5' 5"
Height:
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Yup to da Perfesser.
To lie, is not good. To edit the script of the truth a little bit is fine. You are still being honest  | |
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11-29-2009, 12:04 AM
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#5 (permalink)
| | Guru In Training
Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: Philadelphia, PA
Posts: 203
Weight Statistics 1/11/10 Start Date:
January 25, 2010 Surgery Date:
5' 8"
Height:
237 lb Start Weight:
154 lb Current Weight:
150 lb Goal Weight:
83 lb Weight Loss:
4 lb Lb Left to Lose:
35.0210970464 % % Lost:
One Year Goal Date:
Body Mass Index36.0317906574 BMI Start:
23.4130622837 BMI Current:
22.8049307958 BMI Goal:
Weight Loss MethodRoux en Y Gastric Bypass
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Thanks so much! This is GREAT advice!!!
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11-29-2009, 07:33 AM
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#6 (permalink)
| | WLS Guru
Join Date: Mar 2009 Location: New Hampshire
Posts: 481
Weight Statistics July 3,2008 Start Date:
March 18,2009 Surgery Date:
5' 11"
Height:
514 lb Start Weight:
256 lb Current Weight:
220 lb Goal Weight:
258 lb Weight Loss:
36 lb Lb Left to Lose:
50.1945525292 % % Lost:
Body Mass Index71.6806189248 BMI Start:
35.7008530054 BMI Current:
30.6804205515 BMI Goal:
Weight Loss MethodRoux en Y Gastric Bypass
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I told everyone at work and they all thought it was great. I have had alot of them ask lots of questions about it after seeing my results and now two more people I work with are going to have it done. I now feel that by telling them I may have helped a couple of people that were on the edge go over the top and decide to have it done and begin to have a healthier lifestyle.
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11-29-2009, 07:50 AM
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#7 (permalink)
| | Seasoned Veteran
Join Date: Jul 2009 Location: North
Posts: 2,180
Weight Statistics August 20, 2009 Surgery Date:
5' "
Height:
210 lb Start Weight:
102 lb Current Weight:
110 lb Goal Weight:
108 lb Weight Loss:
-8 lb Lb Left to Lose:
51.4285714286 % % Lost:
August 2010 Goal Date:
Body Mass Index41.0083333333 BMI Start:
19.9183333333 BMI Current:
21.4805555556 BMI Goal:
Weight Loss MethodRoux en Y Gastric Bypass
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Only my husband knows I had WLS. When people comment on my weight loss I am honest. I state I am eating healthier and getting more exercise. From my perspective this journey is intensely personal and I will not allow my experience or choice to become grist for the mill. In fact, the reason I do not post pictures or other information about my job, education, etc here is that I want to maintain a degree of anonymity. I truly value this support system but in the type of work I do I certainly do not want my patients to have personal information about me should they stumble upon this site. Good luck with your surgery:-)
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11-29-2009, 12:56 PM
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#8 (permalink)
| | Guru In Training
Join Date: Oct 2009 Location: Southern Oregon
Posts: 206
Weight Statistics April 30, 2010 Surgery Date:
5' 6"
Height:
274 lb Start Weight:
165 lb Current Weight:
145 lb Goal Weight:
109 lb Weight Loss:
20 lb Lb Left to Lose:
39.7810218978 % % Lost:
5/2011 Goal Date:
Body Mass Index44.2199265381 BMI Start:
26.6287878788 BMI Current:
23.4010560147 BMI Goal:
Weight Loss MethodRoux en Y Gastric Bypass
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I have told people at work, but then again there have already been several people who have had this surgery here, so I knew how others would react. I agree with not telling them the details if you do not want to. This is something you have control over, not them. I have not told any of the other mothers or anyone other than family and work. It will be interesting next year when people see me and I am skinny compared to this year. I will decide when they ask me what I will tell them. You will know what you feel like sharing when the time is right.
__________________ Catherine It's not whether you get knocked down; it's whether you get up. | |
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11-29-2009, 01:08 PM
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#9 (permalink)
| | WLS Master Guru
Join Date: Sep 2009 Location: Lynn Haven Florida
Posts: 633
Weight Statistics 9-17-09 Start Date:
09-17-2009 Surgery Date:
5' 2"
Height:
267 lb Start Weight:
117 lb Current Weight:
120 lb Goal Weight:
150 lb Weight Loss:
-3 lb Lb Left to Lose:
56.1797752809 % % Lost:
09-17-10 Goal Date:
Body Mass Index48.8296045786 BMI Start:
21.3972424558 BMI Current:
21.9458896982 BMI Goal:
Weight Loss MethodRoux en Y Gastric Bypass
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I only told my boss and the 2 doctors i work for ...........but people do start to notice and ask questions.........dont ever be ashamed that you had the wls. If you dont want to share your personal info with everyone "dont"
as people noticed my weight loss i did share my info, but i am so happy i did it , before i had this surgery i was taking 14 pills a day for diabetes,cholesterol,gerd,asthma, etc ...........now i take only the calcium , vitamens, and protein, so i am proud of my choice to have the wls. Everyone has their own journey and no one has the same results........so if you do share info and people try the horror stories on you dont listen .....each of us is different and has their own story! Good luck on your surgery .........mary
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12-01-2009, 12:25 PM
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#10 (permalink)
| | Big Loser
Join Date: Jun 2009 Location: Ohio
Posts: 187
Weight Statistics Aug 6th 2009 Start Date:
Feb 25, 2010 Surgery Date:
5' 8"
Height:
294 lb Start Weight:
177 lb Current Weight:
160 lb Goal Weight:
117 lb Weight Loss:
17 lb Lb Left to Lose:
39.7959183673 % % Lost:
2011 Goal Date:
Body Mass Index44.6976643599 BMI Start:
26.9098183391 BMI Current:
24.3252595156 BMI Goal:
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I have chose to just tell my mom. I have not told my father, yet. I will be staying at their home, so I am going to have to tell him pretty soon. Sadly, which I do not feel good about, I have lied to 2 or 3 people at work about my soon to be absence. Which I am more worried about explaining then my weight loss. I am sure after time, I will tell more people.
I work with chatty folks, too. I also do not need their judgement. I plan on telling them what the Prefesser said when I return to work. One time, when I lost 60 lbs, I was cornered at work by 2 ladies. They were asking me all sorts of questions about my weight loss. (not in a nice way, in a judgmental way) Just like I thought then, it is none of their business.
It is completely an individual decision. I think it is very important to go into this mentally feeling good and being positive.
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