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12-20-2009, 11:37 AM
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#1 (permalink)
| | WLS Master Guru
Join Date: Apr 2009 Location: Big Sky Country~Montana
Posts: 873
Weight Statistics Sept 2008 Start Date:
Oct 13, 2008 Surgery Date:
5' 7"
Height:
450 lb Start Weight:
306 lb Current Weight:
180 lb Goal Weight:
144 lb Weight Loss:
126 lb Lb Left to Lose:
32 % % Lost:
in late 2010 Goal Date:
Body Mass Index70.472265538 BMI Start:
47.9211405658 BMI Current:
28.1889062152 BMI Goal:
Weight Loss MethodRoux en Y Gastric Bypass
 |  grand baby Kala
I just feel so very sad today.
I have a grand daughter who turned a year old last July, I don't get to see her much, not because she lives far away but because she has a messed up family she lives with (my son's girlfriend) and they are very possessive and manipulative about everything they do that pertains to her.
I get constant excuses of why I can't have her for a few hours visit, and I have missed out on taking her to the holiday parade, amongst other fun things a little kid should get to experience. They seem to keep her indoors all the time, almost to the point of overly possessiveness.
I don't know if she has even touched snow or played in the fallen leaves this past fall, and have missed out on her first times for things, and I am sorry to be complaining but everytime I think I will get to see her, they find stupid reasons last minute to change plans and say it won't happen.
I am a good mother! I raised my two kids alone and think I did pretty dang good. I have never given reasons to worry or be concerned about the baby's welfare. My son is handicap from a traumatic brain injury a few years ago and he doesn't do well with his own life choices and hasn't got what it takes to stand up to his girlfriend and her mother. He isn't a threat to the baby but because he is who he is with his own mental problems, the mother's family dislikes him and emotionally punishes him every way they can think of. I have tried to be kind to them and willing to go out of my way to see the baby whenever they come up with excuses I have logical things to share to help make things work but they won't be kind towards me and use the baby as their weapon to make us miserable.
Its been a very difficult burden and for some reason I am feeling it more now then before. I have a bucket full of little girl's toys all wrapped and under my tree, so when she opens each gift then she can keep them here at my home to enjoy whenever I see her but I never get to see her. I don't know if I will get to see her before or after Christmas either!
Its just very disheartening. Wish people weren't so cruel and selfish in their ways. Baby Kala is the one missing out on what could be wonderful experiences with MY side of the family!
Anyways, don't know if anybody can relate to this stuff but I feel so alone on it.
__________________ RC  Make a difference!
Attitudes are contagious... is yours worth catching?
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12-20-2009, 12:35 PM
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#2 (permalink)
| | WLS Master Guru
Join Date: Mar 2009 Location: Horseheads, NY
Posts: 818
Weight Statistics 01/12/09 Start Date:
August 18, 2009 Surgery Date:
5' 6"
Height:
258 lb Start Weight:
135 lb Current Weight:
150 lb Goal Weight:
123 lb Weight Loss:
-15 lb Lb Left to Lose:
47.6744186047 % % Lost:
Summer, 2010 Goal Date:
Body Mass Index41.6377410468 BMI Start:
21.7871900826 BMI Current:
24.2079889807 BMI Goal:
Weight Loss MethodRoux en Y Gastric Bypass
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I am so sorry that your son's girlfriend makes it so difficult for you to see your grandchild. I don't have any experience in this, but wanted to send you Hugs!!
__________________  | |
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12-20-2009, 01:45 PM
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#3 (permalink)
| | Seasoned Veteran
Join Date: Sep 2008 Location: Mississippi
Posts: 4,904
Weight Statistics 3/18/2008 (dieted all my life) Start Date:
9/30/2008 Surgery Date:
5' 8"
Height:
292 lb Start Weight:
192 lb Current Weight:
189 lb Goal Weight:
100 lb Weight Loss:
3 lb Lb Left to Lose:
34.2465753425 % % Lost:
2 years Goal Date:
Body Mass Index44.3935986159 BMI Start:
29.1903114187 BMI Current:
28.7342128028 BMI Goal:
Weight Loss MethodRoux en Y Gastric Bypass
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I hate to hear this so much. Being a grandmother myself I know the love we have for grandchildren. How old is the baby? Maybe when she is older the new will wear off and they will let you see her more. This is so sad. Sounds like she is missing out on a wonderful grandmother for sure. Don't give up. You have rights you know. Hang in there maybe things will change. I will pray for that. (((hugs))) dixie
__________________   Love to Share , Health to Spare, and Friends that Care!
23 pounds lost before surgery.
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12-20-2009, 01:48 PM
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#4 (permalink)
| | Seasoned Veteran
Join Date: Sep 2008 Location: Mississippi
Posts: 4,904
Weight Statistics 3/18/2008 (dieted all my life) Start Date:
9/30/2008 Surgery Date:
5' 8"
Height:
292 lb Start Weight:
192 lb Current Weight:
189 lb Goal Weight:
100 lb Weight Loss:
3 lb Lb Left to Lose:
34.2465753425 % % Lost:
2 years Goal Date:
Body Mass Index44.3935986159 BMI Start:
29.1903114187 BMI Current:
28.7342128028 BMI Goal:
Weight Loss MethodRoux en Y Gastric Bypass
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Im sorry i see now you said she was just over a year old. This is heartbreaking.
__________________ Love to Share , Health to Spare, and Friends that Care!
23 pounds lost before surgery.
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12-20-2009, 02:08 PM
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#5 (permalink)
| | Seasoned Veteran
Join Date: Mar 2007 Location: Floyd County Virginia
Posts: 9,219
Weight Statistics September 19th 2007 Start Date:
September 19th 2007 Surgery Date:
5' 10"
Height:
363 lb Start Weight:
170 lb Current Weight:
170 lb Goal Weight:
193 lb Weight Loss:
53.1680440771 % % Lost:
12/31/09 Goal Date:
Body Mass Index52.0793877551 BMI Start:
24.3897959184 BMI Current:
24.3897959184 BMI Goal:
Weight Loss MethodRoux en Y Gastric Bypass
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My heart is breaking for you and your son and that little girl. Does he have any legal right to the child such as visitation or anything? If not he can obtain it with your help honey.
I do hope they get a grip on things and really thing about that little girl and her other grandmother.
__________________ Remember Tough times never last Tough people do... This Ribbon is for our Lady Lisa and all the women that fight this ugly disease. RIP Jerry my friend
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12-20-2009, 02:37 PM
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#6 (permalink)
| | Guru In Training
Join Date: Aug 2008 Location: Swedesboro, New Jersey
Posts: 288
Weight Statistics oct 21,2008 Surgery Date:
5' 4"
Height:
278 lb Start Weight:
159 lb Current Weight:
150 lb Goal Weight:
119 lb Weight Loss:
9 lb Lb Left to Lose:
42.8057553957 % % Lost:
2010 Goal Date:
Body Mass Index47.7133789062 BMI Start:
27.2893066406 BMI Current:
25.7446289062 BMI Goal:
Weight Loss MethodAitkens
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i am sorry for your trouble i hope you get to see her soon
__________________  | |
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12-20-2009, 02:49 PM
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#7 (permalink)
| | WLS Master Guru
Join Date: Apr 2009 Location: Big Sky Country~Montana
Posts: 873
Weight Statistics Sept 2008 Start Date:
Oct 13, 2008 Surgery Date:
5' 7"
Height:
450 lb Start Weight:
306 lb Current Weight:
180 lb Goal Weight:
144 lb Weight Loss:
126 lb Lb Left to Lose:
32 % % Lost:
in late 2010 Goal Date:
Body Mass Index70.472265538 BMI Start:
47.9211405658 BMI Current:
28.1889062152 BMI Goal:
Weight Loss MethodRoux en Y Gastric Bypass
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Thanks for them hugs and prayers as I do need them.
There is supposed to be legal visitation/parental scheduling so that both sides of the family can have time with her, a judge even TOLD her during a different proceeding, that they have to get the paperwork started.
In montana the courts seem to rule more in the favor of the mothers in most cases when it comes to this kind of thing they just assume the mother is the best for the child, but in some cases that is just not true. However I have no solid proof to present to the judge.
In Montana (not all states) the grandparents are recognized to have just as much visitation rights as the parents. I do have legal conservator and guardianship over my adult son because of his disability. Unfortunately they have let the ball drop and nobody from the courts has gone through with enforcing the paperwork be completed. There is alot of forms you almost need a lawyer to get it all figured out and we can't afford one right now.
I have to wait to do it later ourselves because right now I am helping my son with other court things he is in, and its pretty much stressed me out to the max. I cannot take on another battle just yet.
(believe me, this coming new year when things slow down on other things I have full intension of getting our rights acknowledged).
I have to let these people have their way for now and just cope with it until later on when we can start papers ourselves and hire a lawyer to represent my son....
I just can't figure out why some people can be so cruel. I wish I knew a good lawyer to help us without fee but you won't find that in today's world. He doesn't qualify to have free legal representation like low income people get.
I keep telling myself in the back of my mind that some day she will be old enough to make her own choices and be able to come and get to know me then, but it doesn't help comfort the prescious time right now that I am missing on.
I have several friends all enjoying their grandchildren in a "normal" situation and I can't help but wish I were able to do the same.
Any prayers would be appreciated and I thank you sincerely.
__________________ RC Make a difference!
Attitudes are contagious... is yours worth catching?
my website | |
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12-20-2009, 03:04 PM
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#8 (permalink)
| | Seasoned Veteran
Join Date: Mar 2007 Location: Floyd County Virginia
Posts: 9,219
Weight Statistics September 19th 2007 Start Date:
September 19th 2007 Surgery Date:
5' 10"
Height:
363 lb Start Weight:
170 lb Current Weight:
170 lb Goal Weight:
193 lb Weight Loss:
53.1680440771 % % Lost:
12/31/09 Goal Date:
Body Mass Index52.0793877551 BMI Start:
24.3897959184 BMI Current:
24.3897959184 BMI Goal:
Weight Loss MethodRoux en Y Gastric Bypass
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They do have lawyers that will take on a case like this pro bono. Meaning free. They all have to do a certian amount to keep the licence. Make a call to these people and tell them you want to spend some time with your granddaughter. Maybe that is all you need to do and mabye they will let you spend some time with her.
We you feel up to it make a call to get the paper work taken care of so that yall have a right to see her. I do hope this can be worked out without dragging it though the courts. I do feel for you. Mabye you talking with the mom or grandmother like you did us can help alot with explaining your side to things and that you really want to be a part of your grandchilds life.
__________________ Remember Tough times never last Tough people do... This Ribbon is for our Lady Lisa and all the women that fight this ugly disease. RIP Jerry my friend
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12-20-2009, 05:42 PM
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#9 (permalink)
| | Seasoned Veteran
Join Date: Jul 2009 Location: North
Posts: 2,180
Weight Statistics August 20, 2009 Surgery Date:
5' "
Height:
210 lb Start Weight:
102 lb Current Weight:
110 lb Goal Weight:
108 lb Weight Loss:
-8 lb Lb Left to Lose:
51.4285714286 % % Lost:
August 2010 Goal Date:
Body Mass Index41.0083333333 BMI Start:
19.9183333333 BMI Current:
21.4805555556 BMI Goal:
Weight Loss MethodRoux en Y Gastric Bypass
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Your grandbaby may not be getting optimum care right now but one thing she has for sure...YOU! Each & every time you see her give her hugs, kisses, and make her feel secure & loved. Sadly, there are things in life we can control & things we can't control. Unless you strongly suspect neglect or abuse (which case call child protective services ASAP) the only thing you can do is be the best grandma you can while your granddaughter is with you. Make every moment count.
On another note...I was a child protective service worker. If you suspect your grandbaby is being neglected or abused PLEASE call & report it.
If this is a case of her mom parenting differently than you or for that matter most of us there's not much you can do. I know it's hard but you're going to drive yourself around the bend if you can't reconcile yourself to accepting your gradbaby's mom's parenting style. Positive thoughts winging your way.
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12-20-2009, 06:45 PM
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#10 (permalink)
| | WLS Mentor
Join Date: Sep 2009 Location: San Antonio, Tx
Posts: 1,100
Weight Statistics Liquid diet July 5, 2010 Start Date:
July 12, 2010 Surgery Date:
5' 1"
Height:
323 lb Start Weight:
221 lb Current Weight:
150 lb Goal Weight:
102 lb Weight Loss:
71 lb Lb Left to Lose:
31.5789473684 % % Lost:
24 months Goal Date:
Body Mass Index61.0236495566 BMI Start:
41.7530233808 BMI Current:
28.3391561408 BMI Goal:
Weight Loss MethodRoux en Y Gastric Bypass
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My heart goes out to you! You, your son and your grandbaby will be in my prayers~  | |
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