  | | 
01-24-2010, 11:03 PM
|
#1 (permalink)
| | WLS Master Guru
Join Date: Sep 2009 Location: New York
Posts: 573
Weight Statistics December 10, 2009 - 30lbs lost pre-op Surgery Date:
5' 6"
Height:
310 lb Start Weight:
193 lb Current Weight:
160 lb Goal Weight:
117 lb Weight Loss:
33 lb Lb Left to Lose:
37.7419354839 % % Lost:
Body Mass Index50.0298438935 BMI Start:
31.1476124885 BMI Current:
25.8218549128 BMI Goal:
 |  Family Dynamics Changed?
Just wondering if anyone's family dynamics have changed since their surgery. My husband has on the one hand been very supportive of this surgery, but right now I feel like he is watching everything I do - and feeling like it is *his* responsibility to make sure I'm doing what I should. While I appreciate his concern, I feel like I need to start gaining confidence in my own ability to make the right choices. I've been trying to talk to him about it, but he gets defensive.
I suggested going to counseling tonight, since we had started about a year ago. He agreed, but I really think he believes that he is right. I'm not sure how to stand up for myself without alienating him. He really has been on my side and I do feel like we're partners in this decision. I just need to feel like he is my cheerleader, not my truant officer.
Just wondering if anyone else experienced the same issue and how you handled it.
Thanks,
Kathy
__________________  | 
|  |  | Weight Loss Surgery Insurance | | | |
|
| |
01-24-2010, 11:44 PM
|
#2 (permalink)
| | WLS Guru
Join Date: Jul 2009 Location: Oklahoma
Posts: 396
Weight Statistics 01/01/09 Start Date:
07/06/09 Surgery Date:
5' 7"
Height:
332 lb Start Weight:
149 lb Current Weight:
160 lb Goal Weight:
183 lb Weight Loss:
-11 lb Lb Left to Lose:
55.1204819277 % % Lost:
No goal date Goal Date:
Body Mass Index51.9928714636 BMI Start:
23.3341501448 BMI Current:
25.0568055246 BMI Goal:
Weight Loss MethodRoux en Y Gastric Bypass
|
Mine have changed for sure. It has aken some work as well. I am learning my new place in my relationships and I am sure all those who are close to me are learning their new palce as well.
They have only ever dealt with the Fat girl (and all the issues that she had). I like who i am better and am definatly seeing my personality change as I grow (or shrink..lol).
__________________  | |
| | |
01-25-2010, 01:51 AM
|
#3 (permalink)
| | Guru In Training
Join Date: Apr 2009 Location: Bergen, Norway
Posts: 281
Weight Statistics November 3, 2009 Surgery Date:
5' 4"
Height:
336 lb Start Weight:
160 lb Current Weight:
170 lb Goal Weight:
176 lb Weight Loss:
-10 lb Lb Left to Lose:
52.380952381 % % Lost:
Christmas, 2010 Goal Date:
Body Mass Index57.66796875 BMI Start:
27.4609375 BMI Current:
29.1772460938 BMI Goal:
Weight Loss MethodRoux en Y Gastric Bypass
|
My hubs most used phrases include 'should you be eating that?' 'don't eat too much!' 'you better be careful' 'are you gonna be alright eating that?' and my response is always either yes, I know, or 'evil eye' followed by SHUTUP!  I know he is concerned, but it's getting annoying! It's not so bad though, I just throw it back at him as he shovels ice cream in his face. :P I think the worst is actually the rest of the family. My father in law is constantly shoving food in my face worried that I'm not eating enough. I'm like listen, that's the point!! Chill man, I'm all good They will get the point eventually, I guess we should just be grateful that they care enough to annoy us 
__________________
 | |
| | |
01-25-2010, 09:06 AM
|
#4 (permalink)
| | Seasoned Veteran
Join Date: Jan 2006 Location: Oklahoma City, Okla USA
Posts: 2,549
Weight Statistics 05/17/02 Start Date:
05/17/02 Surgery Date:
5' 5"
Height:
355 lb Start Weight:
190 lb Current Weight:
175 lb Goal Weight:
165 lb Weight Loss:
15 lb Lb Left to Lose:
46.4788732394 % % Lost:
Body Mass Index59.0686390533 BMI Start:
31.6142011834 BMI Current:
29.1183431953 BMI Goal:
Weight Loss MethodRoux en Y Gastric Bypass
|
Good luck in the therapy sessions, hopefully you will have a wonderful supportive therapist who will get him to see that supportive is not being a 'truant officer'..
Marriages get hit with many challenges because of this surgery and you all have definitely taken the best step in getting therapy together. That's great that you are doing it together! Make sure you also get therapy sessions singularly too, okay?
__________________ 
(Spring 2004)
(lowest body weight/size) --BREE
- Strength in body is fleeting, but MY strength is from the LORD whose strength never weakens...
--------------------- open RNY 5/17/2002 -166 lbs(-200 at lowest) 8 years post in May 2010
Open major abdominal surgery 4/6/2010 for internal hernia release, extensive scarring removal & Appendix removal
| |
| | |
01-25-2010, 09:30 AM
|
#5 (permalink)
| | WLS Mentor
Join Date: Dec 2009 Location: South Central Kentucky
Posts: 1,242
Weight Statistics forever... 10/2007 was my official start date for WLS Start Date:
December 16, 2008 Surgery Date:
5' 3"
Height:
376 lb Start Weight:
192 lb Current Weight:
166 lb Goal Weight:
184 lb Weight Loss:
26 lb Lb Left to Lose:
48.9361702128 % % Lost:
no time limit... just want to be healthy Goal Date:
Body Mass Index66.5981355505 BMI Start:
34.007558579 BMI Current:
29.4023683547 BMI Goal:
Weight Loss MethodRoux en Y Gastric Bypass
|
I think a therapy session is a great idea. My hubby was like that in the very beginning. It's been a little over a year now, and he's slacked off ALOT. Now, he still gets in my business from time to time with the "how much protein have you had today?" or "that's not what you need to be eating" thing.... but all in all, it's much better than it was. Like Jenna, I have the evil eye and the non verbal "shut up and back away slowly" look perfected. haha
Hang in there!! Just tell him that you love him for loving you so much, and you truly appreciate that he's trying to help you, but that this is YOUR journey and you have to do what's best for yourself. Making you nervous or making you feel smothered won't help anyone.
__________________ A great pleasure in life is doing what people say you cannot do...  What lies behind us, and what lies before us are tiny matters compared to what lies within us.
~ by Ralph Waldo Emerson ~  | |
| | |
01-25-2010, 09:37 AM
|
#6 (permalink)
| | WLS Master Guru
Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: Indiana, Burbs of Indianapolis
Posts: 877
Weight Statistics Most of my life Start Date:
October 8 2009 Surgery Date:
5' 8"
Height:
342 lb Start Weight:
178 lb Current Weight:
164 lb Goal Weight:
164 lb Weight Loss:
14 lb Lb Left to Lose:
47.9532163743 % % Lost:
Whenever my body gets there. Goal Date:
Body Mass Index51.9952422145 BMI Start:
27.0618512111 BMI Current:
24.9333910035 BMI Goal:
Weight Loss MethodRoux en Y Gastric Bypass
|
I am single with two kids..... my daughter is 10 and is just getting the fact that mom is changing. She is not lazy anymore....she expects thinks to get done....she will not sleep all day on her recliner..... life is good for me
My son, who is 26 has been great! Who is now getting annoying!!!! "I'm not going through this again, Should you really have that, You better eat your calcium chews, Drink more..." So how do you not yell SHUT UP I GET IT.... Without him it would have been impossible, he took off a week of work to help me... but enough is enough.
But I'm a good mom I say nothing to hurt his feelings, just give alot of evil looks.
__________________  | |
| | |
01-25-2010, 01:52 PM
|
#7 (permalink)
| | WLS Master Guru
Join Date: May 2009 Location: Chicago, IL
Posts: 938
Weight Statistics June 15, 2009 Start Date:
June 15, 2009 Surgery Date:
5' 6"
Height:
285 lb Start Weight:
166 lb Current Weight:
140 lb Goal Weight:
119 lb Weight Loss:
26 lb Lb Left to Lose:
41.7543859649 % % Lost:
June 15, 2011 Goal Date:
Body Mass Index45.9951790634 BMI Start:
26.790174472 BMI Current:
22.5941230487 BMI Goal:
Weight Loss MethodRoux en Y Gastric Bypass
|
I am laughing (with you) I have a son who is 22 and 3 teenage daughters who were wonderful during this surgery and afterwards. I am also a single mother. I made sure the house was packed with everything I would need afterwards and they dropped me off and picked me up and brought me home. They had to help me up and into the bed for several days - and were really good about it. They had the house all cleaned and waited on me and took much pleasure in reading me the rules. They still like to point them out to me, but I get them back when I try to cheat or want something that they are eating and tell them they are tempting me on purpose ( they probably are not - but you never know).
| |
| | |
01-25-2010, 02:39 PM
|
#8 (permalink)
| | WLS Mentor
Join Date: Dec 2009 Location: South Central Kentucky
Posts: 1,242
Weight Statistics forever... 10/2007 was my official start date for WLS Start Date:
December 16, 2008 Surgery Date:
5' 3"
Height:
376 lb Start Weight:
192 lb Current Weight:
166 lb Goal Weight:
184 lb Weight Loss:
26 lb Lb Left to Lose:
48.9361702128 % % Lost:
no time limit... just want to be healthy Goal Date:
Body Mass Index66.5981355505 BMI Start:
34.007558579 BMI Current:
29.4023683547 BMI Goal:
Weight Loss MethodRoux en Y Gastric Bypass
|
I have an 8 year old who also likes to question what I eat. Not as often as she did in the beginning though. But the good news is, now SHE has learned to read labels. When we're in the grocery store, she picks up her (sugar packed junk cereal) and says..."How many carbs are in this, Mommy?" haha Well... atleast she's AWARE of that sort of thing.
__________________ A great pleasure in life is doing what people say you cannot do... What lies behind us, and what lies before us are tiny matters compared to what lies within us.
~ by Ralph Waldo Emerson ~ | |
| | |
01-25-2010, 10:59 PM
|
#9 (permalink)
| | Seasoned Veteran
Join Date: Mar 2007 Location: Floyd County Virginia
Posts: 9,219
Weight Statistics September 19th 2007 Start Date:
September 19th 2007 Surgery Date:
5' 10"
Height:
363 lb Start Weight:
170 lb Current Weight:
170 lb Goal Weight:
193 lb Weight Loss:
53.1680440771 % % Lost:
12/31/09 Goal Date:
Body Mass Index52.0793877551 BMI Start:
24.3897959184 BMI Current:
24.3897959184 BMI Goal:
Weight Loss MethodRoux en Y Gastric Bypass
|
Kathy is he looking at what you eating thinking you shouldnt eat it or thinking your not eating enough? Mine fed me LOL. Yep and got so worried I woudnt eat enough. He talked with the Dr about it and told it was fine I would eat like that for a good while. Hes the best one egg with cheese man I know.
I think they get worried about us unless yall talk it out you will never know. If you can get him to go to counceling it would be a great thing.
__________________ Remember Tough times never last Tough people do... This Ribbon is for our Lady Lisa and all the women that fight this ugly disease. RIP Jerry my friend
| |
| | |
01-26-2010, 07:37 AM
|
#10 (permalink)
| | WLS Master Guru
Join Date: Sep 2009 Location: New York
Posts: 573
Weight Statistics December 10, 2009 - 30lbs lost pre-op Surgery Date:
5' 6"
Height:
310 lb Start Weight:
193 lb Current Weight:
160 lb Goal Weight:
117 lb Weight Loss:
33 lb Lb Left to Lose:
37.7419354839 % % Lost:
Body Mass Index50.0298438935 BMI Start:
31.1476124885 BMI Current:
25.8218549128 BMI Goal:
|
Mary,
I am honored that you shared your story and I am choked up about it. I think many of us have neglected our health and our relationships have suffered for it. I know my husband worries about my health and it is a strain for us. I can't even imagine what you have gone through.
Sounds like you have worked things out. Just make sure you are not sacrificing your own happiness. Do what makes you happy. I am just learning to REALLY take care of myself, including my own happiness now.
Keep us posted on how you're doing. The haircut is great, but you taking care of yourself is even better.
-Kathy
__________________ | |
| | | Thread Tools | | | | Display Modes |  Linear Mode | 
Posting Rules
| You may not post new threads You may not post replies You may not post attachments You may not edit your posts
HTML code is Off
| | | | |
G.G.
