[Madison's grandma]

it is finally time for me to share "my story" and the lord told me this is the day to share........please no judges!! I POSTED THIS ON SOMEONE ELSES THREAD BY MISTAKE .....SO THANKS TO ALL THAT COMMENTED IF YOU READ IT ALREADY !!


My husband always worried about my health and always pushed me to be the healthy vibrant person he married 23 yrs ago, well over the years i have just let myself go and let him and my children down. I just didnt give a crap about anything (health wise) i was supose to take 12 different pills a day and i would skip a day here and there and say oh ill take em tommorow .i found a lump in my breast and he bugged me for 13 months before i went and had a lumpectomy to remove it.........in 1999 i had a tumor in my head and had to have surgery at uab, well i had a stroke during surgery and was paralyzed completely on the left side for 3 months, while in the hospital at uab for 4 weeks ,he never left my side and would not let the nurses bath me .comb my hair or anything he wanted to do everything for me. I cant tell you how many surgeries i have had and trips the er and more hospital stays than i can count. In december of 2008 i started this journey ... The 6 month weight loss atempt and going to weigh in every month so my ins would consider an approval for this surgery.


Jan 2009 my 21 yr old son went missing,he was on the national missing person registry but nothing ,cops had no leads, all of his belongings were at his apartment even his love "his guitar". Depression set in and my weight ballooned even more , ofcourse i couldnt go to work,clean house,or enjoy anything. I went on a 7 week leave of absents from my job of 10yrs only to go back and have to quit because of the hostile people.

So here i was in march 2009 fat,depressed and unemployed. Still going to my weigh ins but the dr said they would not even consider putting my refferal to the surgeon untill my son's situation was resoved . Started smoking again after quiting 10 yrs before ( my husband has never smoked,he really hates it)
so in may 2009 my son contacted me!!!!!! He was alive and well in ft lauderdale.........just wanted to "get away" yes i wanted to kill him.

Now it is july 2009 late one night i go in the bedroom and my husband is laying in bed with his i-phone as i come in he puts it under the cover real fast???? I asked what that was about ,he says oh nothing i am playing a game. Ok ,so i say that's nice. I get my laptop and go on the cell phone records and find out he has been texting the same number since feb 2009. I confront him the next morning, he says yea i am talking to someone and i think we need a divorce!!!!!!!!!! What??? After 22 yrs ?? I thought we were still in love?? I know i am depressed and have given up on everything because of our son going missing but i never knew that our marriage was in trouble. He says she is just a text buddy, well i am inspector gadget so....i find out that no not just a text buddy , he acutally flew to ny and took her to his 30 high school reunion!!!! The one no spouses were going to. This was not someone who he just happened upon on the computer.... She and he knew each other when he was 19 yrs old stationed in england and he always had a thing for her....well she found him on myspace in feb 2009 and they were in constant communication since that time then as i said they spent 4 days in ny together. I was devistated. He then tells me that he thinks he loves her but he loves me too???? He just doesnt know what to do. She had given him an ultimatum to get rid of me by aug 23 2009, yea i know right!!! I had already had my phyc test (thank god) i dont know if i would have past it after that. Now i dont know what to do ....do i have the surgery?? Am i getting a divorce ??? What do i do?? He had told his mother during that he loved me but he was tired of being in hospitals and just living life everyday waiting for me to die because of me not taking care of myself well i decided that i was not gonna give up my husband. I would fight for our life we had built together. I decided to ask him what were the things that made him so unhappy that he would loose his character and do what he did and he told me what he had told his mother . I asked him if we could give it till jan 2010, if he still felt the same i would give up and file for divorce, after some counseling and many talks, i decided that i was gonna again be the person not only he wanted but the person i was 22 yrs ago. So even though my marriage was on very shaky ground i had my surgery 9-17-10.

The husband i married and lived with for all these years wasnt the same anymore.....(i think he was still talking with her )

on top of all of this my daughter was pregnant with my grandson and they almost lost him several times she was in the hospital leaking fluid at 4 months and then had a very bad staph infection on her face, had to go to sacret heart because they thought my grandson had hydrocephilis (water on the brain) he was born on 8-9-09 healthy as a little bitty horse. The lord healed him is all i can say.

I have changed everything that my husband was unhappy about and started doing all the things i always did before i got too fat to feel good. And something new for mei joined the gym ,this site and started doing things on my own a little (made him think a little)

this is where i have been at in my life........

On the 12th of january i decided to cut my hair .. If i was gonna start a new life by myself i needed a change....went to dinner with my hubby and just felt something changed in him.

Well the next morning (i couldnt help myself) i looked on the "whores" myspace and her status of the day said "the waiting is over ...not the answer i was expecting...time to move on" i really dont know if it had anything to do with my husband and her ,but i think it did beause we went out this past saturday to a club with friends, while we were dancing he whispered in my ear "did you miss me"? I said what??? He said "did you miss me while i was away from you" (emotionally he meant) i said yes i did and i love you very much , well he said i love you too and i’m back now, i am glad you didnt give up on me,cause most women would have. Well i had tears in my eyes .

My husband has been deployed all over the world in the 24 yrs in the air force and he has never been unfaithful, he is an honorable man with high morals and expectations,so i could not believe he did what he did. But i would not allow myself to give up on him, nothing is ever one person's fault . I have learned alot throughout this ordeal. I am a strong person and the things that are most important to me i "can" fight for them and win!!! So i will win this battle with my weight and the lord changed my husbands heart so i will win there too.

I am so sorry for such a long post but i had wanted to share my story for so long and i knew god would put in on my heart when the time was right, everything happens in gods time and i dont know why now, but maybe one of you out there needed to hear this.

We still have loads to get over and i have moments that i say why am i doing this to myself ,once trust is broken it is very hard to just let it be. But i know god has a plan for me, i have never been someone who could stay on such a regimented plan, but i am doing it!!!

As i said sorry for the long personal post but i just needed to write it down, maybe now i can put it away forever!!!

Much love
mary

[Weigh2GoSteph]

Awwwww.......... I am so impressed by this. I sat here at my desk just in awe of all that you've been through in the past couple of years. Congratulations on the new grandchild, and your renewed sense of self and your renewed marriage. I'm so proud of everything that you've overcome. I don't know that I would've had the strength to do the things you've done and to continue to believe in my husband, had I been in your shoes. I'd like to think I could have, but I just don't know.

Best of luck to you! I wish you all the best!

Steph

[Gee-ma 47]

I'm overwhelmed by your story. My prayers are with you and your entire family. Know that God is able to heal any situation we face in life, and He will restore the years you've sown in sorrow. If you're happy, then I'm happy for you for we are instructed to rejoice with those who rejoice. Stay encouraged, and take it one day at a time.

[mynewleaseonlife]

You are a very strong woman!!! Stay in the fight and keep the faith!! The best is yet to come!!! *hug*

[dixieladybug]

My goodness you have really had some bad luck in your life for sure. You have to be a strong woman to handle all of this. I am glad your son is safe and that your medical problems are much better and that you had the wls and it is working for you. You are doing a great job. You are really looking good. I understand what you went through with your husband. I also have been down that road. I was not smart like you and when I found out about it I took my son and left and right away filed for divorce. That was over 25 years ago and i still wonder sometimes privately to myself could we have made it work if I had just been willing to try. I let my pride and my heartache guide me I will always wonder if I did the right thing for me and also for my son. Oh well that is water under the bridge. I am now happily remarried and wls surgery changed my life and I am now living life again. I think you did the right thing. Hang in there and make it work and you will never regret it even if it doesnt work you will at least know you gave it a try. It seems like it is working for you and I am happy for you. (((hugs))) dixie

[BreeChick]

I am SO proud of you for sticking to it in all this. What a strong faith filled woman. You absolutely did the right thing and fought for what was right and good. My Space...urgg don't even get me started on that place ! I finally deleted my profile there because of all the inappropriate msging I would get in spite of what my profile information said AND my profile got hacked several times and whoever hacked it sent out porno crap to acquaintences and people I didn't even know..That place is a horrible site for sure!

FB rules for sure!!

{{{{hugs2u}}}}

and prayers for the both of you! May God bless you both and keep you on the path together!

An amazing story and I am SO glad you were led to share it with us!

[Namma]

Mary, I had tears in my eyes and then a smile! So happy for you!
Lexie

[DocSanae]

This surgery makes or breaks marriages. It sure made yours.
You are a very strong, sincere and determined woman.
I hope you and your DH will think of doing a vow renewal thing, maybe at your first surgiversary.
Children fly from their nests, so there's always some kind of hurting there for parents, but that doesn't mean your son needed to put you through what happened. I hope he is a wiser young man now for that.
(((HUGS)))

[Chevygal55]

Mary I'm not good at writing words down but I wanted to tell you while reading your story my heart felt for you. I'm so glad your son is safe and your health problems are taken care of. As for your marriage I wish you the best of luck... and many new years of happiness~

[MsVickie]

What a hell of a story. Goodness. You have been through it yes. Yes it will make or break a marriage and it made yours.

You know your stronger for it. You are a strong woman and I know you probally didnt think you where but look at your story it shows it.

Take care of you honey. And the rest will fall into place.